I Was Gonna Try to be Scroogey

But it's just not gonna work. I tried, really.

I didn't want to get into the spirit. I tried to hold back. I wasn't feeling it.

Too many decorations were coming out too soon. Way too soon for me. There was just too much talk of the holidays, and I was calling them the HELLIDAYS, because I just DIDN'T want to be into it this year. I didn't want to think about shopping, I didn't want to think about sending out cards with my kids' picture on them (I am still holding off on that one - I really don't have the energy for that this year), I was shuddering at the thought of having to shuttle gifts from the trunk to the basement to the shelves to hide them from children, and then to sneak them back out and then wrap them when they were asleep. I didn't want to think about planning and parties and gifting and buying and lights and eating and drinking and all of that stress that comes along with all of it.

NONE OF IT.

I was calling it the SCROOGEY HELLIDAYS.

But then, at church today, they played what is now my most favorite Christmas song EVER and I wanted to share it with you, in the hopes that if you were or are feeling the same way as I am or was about all the stress and aggravation that awaits us in the next four weeks that we just consider this song, and the words and take a moment to just ... Be.

THANKFUL ...

That 17 years ago today, hungover from drinking probably peach margaritas at Carlos Murphy's bar on Butterfield Road, Mr. Manic asked me to marry him in front of all of our family right after the Bears lost and before we had our Thanksgiving dinner.

I'm so thankful he took a risk on me!

And 17 years I'd rather be no where else than with my beautiful family on this day!

What are you thankful for this beautiful weekend!

Blessings to you all!

Real Life Conversation IN THE MOMENT

I hear the kids in the basement and they are clearly running around like maniacs, getting sweaty and overheated, and I just know someone will come up crying or pissed off.

Me, at the top of the stairs:

"OK, guys, enough of that."

Ajers: "We're having fun."

Me: "I don't want you to have fun."

And AHA, as I type THIS WORD, THIS MOMENT Tukey is SCREAMING TO ME ... "MOMMY!!!!!!!!!" ... and Ajers just ran up the stairs, "Mom, Tukey hurt himself."

Screw 'em all and I told 'em so. I am NOT going to save the freaking day.

Reasons Why Day Sex Six Didn't Happen

First, read the previous post or this if you have no idea what the title means.

OK, caught up?

So Five Days in, it was Day Six on Thursday, and here, in no particular order, I bring you "Reasons Why Day Six of the Sexy Challenge Didn't Happen" ...

1. It's Mr. Manic's Budget Season, and no, that is NOT code for anything.

2. He didn't get home until 8:00 p.m.

3. While we did discuss a nice backrub with some "warm lotion," we didn't think that would constitute as "the act."

4. I considered calling up the church to ask the Rev. Young who instituted this challenge if his definition of sex was the same as Bill Clinton's definition or if Mr. Manic and I may be able to orally discuss the situation. If you get my drift. And then smoke a cigar afterward.

5. I had Panera black bean soup for dinner.

6. Diva had a report to finish on the Liberty Bell AND had to work on her multiplication facts. AT 8:00 p.m. Of course.

7. Ajers' guitar practice was moved to 6:00, which is why we ate Panera for dinner, which is why we didn't get home till 8:00, etc. etc. excuses, excuses, I KNOW IT ALREADY DAMMIT!

8. At tuck-in, Tukey had a stuffy nose, and I had to help him use the Neti-Pot to clear his sinuses (and yes, he is home sick today, ruining my one day of the week where I had planned on yoga and then lunch with friends).

9. At tuck-in, Diva had a tummy ache so I laid down with her until she fell asleep, which was 10:04.

10. When I got to my room, Mr. Manic was snoring.

11. Honestly, we were both probably tired of having sex!

12. And probably, in the back of our minds, one of the main reasons we didn't go for Day Six was that Diva busted in on us on Day Five! Yup. FORTUNATELY ... yes, fortunately, and don't ask about logistics here folks, I was facing the door and yes, I had it cracked open for this very reason ... I saw her 'arriving' ... I cannot use the word coming in this context, that would be SOOOO wrong ... And I moved away and said, "What's the matter Diva!"

I was scared to death she was gonna say, "There's too much noise in here, what are you two doing!?"

Instead she said, "I can't sleep."

"Oh," and then stupid me said, "Well, I can't find my sock," because it was apparent I was on the wrong side of the bed. So she grabs my cell phone and opens it to shed some light on the bed and Mr. Manic and I both scream NOOOOOOOO, and then I said, "OH HERE IT IS, I FOUND MY SOCK!"

So, those are the reasons, my friends, why we only got to Day Five. Mr. Manic said before bedtime last night that we could skip Day Six but then we could make it up on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, but you know what?

I THINK I NEED A BREAK!!!!

I think we've proved to one another that we still and have always loved each other, and that we have fun together, and maybe that was the point of this whole sexperiment.

And if you still would like to win a sexy fun CD with great music with various artists that I will personally choose for you, GO HERE TO ENTER!

Day Four of the Sexy Challenge ...

If you need to get caught up on the Sexy Challenge, read this first.

OK, you back?

Well, yeah, so today was Day Four.

It's been, interesting, to say the least.

I'm not going to go into details, because obviously, sex is a sacred commitment between two married people, but I will say that Day Four was hard, and I don't mean that in the Hard-Hard way, if you know what I mean. I mean that well, you know, I didn't want to wait till it was too late because I am tired, he is tired, so it's one of those sneak-away-when-he-gets-home things. Day Four was challenging hard.

Our code has always been, "Honey, there's a shelf upstairs in the closet that needs to be fixed," so then he'll come upstairs and help 'fix' the shelf in the closet. (Remember this part because it comes back into play later at the dinner table.)

So then, we're upstairs and we can hear the kids downstairs, and of course, I'm chatting away in the middle of it, telling him how my friend broke her arm AND her big toe on vacation, and how yoga was really good today, and things aren't exactly going the way they SHOULD be going, and then I'm like, "What's the matter, we always talk like this during."

Cuz we DO! We're communicators! We talk and we laugh, and we, well, you know ...

And he brought up a very good point. He said usually we can discuss things because it's not like we're doing it every day and it's much easier for things to "happen" when it's not an everyday occurence. YOU KNOW?

Do you get what I'm getting at?

Or am I not making any sense?

Regardless! Day Four, UNDER MY BELT! YAHOOOOO!

And things are going great, and I even texted him today saying some sexy stuff, and too bad he doesn't know how to text back because I'm sure he would have had the foreplay texting right back at me.

Then afterward, we went downstairs where I had a lovely dinner prepared. Don't EVEN ask what it was. OK, I'll tell you. Stouffer's Chicken Enchilladas.

At dinner, we always play a family game: What was the best part of your day. So we shared that. But we said we couldn't say anything that had to do with our family members (cuz someone ALWAYS says, "Right now is the best part of my day).

I said my best part of the day was that I got a copy of Wally Lamb's The Hour I First Believed in the mail today to review on Betty's Lit Lounge, and I'm so psyched. It's huge though--over 700 pages.

Mr. Manic said the best part of his day was fixing the shelf upstairs!

Then Ajers said next we had to say what was the WORST part of our day. Mr. Manic said, "Well, the worst part of my day was that when I first started to fix the shelf upstairs it was pretty hard to do. The nuts weren't fitting right and it was pretty tight, but then I got them screwed in just right."

SERIOUSLY NO LIE THAT IS WHAT HE SAID!

He and I were BUSTING OUT LAUGHING!

How can you NOT love that man!?!?!?!?

And so yes, Day Four. The Sexy Challenge. And I love him and am ready for Day Five.

And I was IMing Dawn from Yuba City who I do not think has a blog, and we decided that I will hold a contest and give away a SEXY CD that I will burn for a winner, or two or three right here on this Manic Mommy blog. But you have to promise to want to have sex. OK! With your boyfriend, spouse, partner or lover, OK? And maybe not seven days in a row, but at least one time.

I promise it will be a sexy CD with awesome music you will want to ruffle up some blankets while listening to it. So, in order to win, just leave a comment telling me a funny/sexy/unique story about a strange place you may have done it. Yeah, that's what I want to know.

And no MOM, you cannot leave a comment!

SHoPPiNG & THe SeXPeRiMeNT

First the shopping:

Met up with my bestest high school friends today for lunch and shopping and it's always so much fun and we're always like, "How come we don't do this that much?!" We had lunch at PF CHang's where, JUST like in high school, THEY peer pressured me into drinking!

So, since I didn't want any wine or my typical appletini, I asked our waitress if she could ask the bartender to make Pool Boys for us. So my friend K and I had Pool Boys. You can take the summer out of the girls, but you can't take the girls out of the summer. Or something like that. Our other friend, S, sucked down a Bloody Mary and we all looked at the empty glass and were like, "Where'd your drink go?!" Some things never change, even after 21 years post high school.

And then there's "T-Back" who drinks WHISKEY at lunch. Hard core. She's hilarious though because of course, the conversation very soon leads to blow j0bs and sex and thong underwear, and she says, "I only wear thongs when I want to RAMP IT UP!"

RAMP.IT.UP!

OK!!!!! So. Basically, thongs as sex toys.

And I have to tell this story, so T, don't kill me! She said she called up her husband to the bedroom saying she needed his opinion on something. When he got up there, she had put on a garter and said, "I'm cleaning out my drawers and wondered if I should give this to Goodwill?"

How's THAT for ramping it up! Keeping the marriage alive!



Then we get on the subject of jeans, and S is a very intuitive shopper. She knows what she likes and she's always dressed so nice and classy and KNOWS the name brands, whereas I, well, if it comes from Target, then I know the namebrand -- Momisimo anyone! Hhahah. Well, I do like my MACY's brands, so I have a teeny bit of class.

So S is a firm believer in the "Get one good pair of expensive well-fitting jeans" and life is good. We made her take us to Nordstrom's for a jean-fitting session and it was hilariously fun! T-Back got a couple pairs of jeans that look great on her, and I found one that I liked but I can't rationalize $180 for a pair of jeans that I have to sweat my ass to get into in the first place. Although we all did like this one pair of JOEs (is that the name of 'em girls?) Rockers. They were like a boob job for the butt cheeks! I will admit I am going to go to Nordstrom's Rack (the outlet) and see if I can find a pair for cheaper. I could use a butt lift.

And of course, T-Back locks herself out of the dressing room and she decides to crawl under to get back in so I had to take a picture. Cuz why not?



And we also celebrated that K is CANCER-FREE! She was diagnosed with breast cancer about six years ago and it mastasized into her brain and she has had about 28 surgeries, has had kidney failure, and so much hardship and has NEVER GIVEN UP! We are all so proud of her and she is amazing and such an inspiration!


So, it was a wonderful day with great lifelong friends on the verge of 40, and we missed our other pal Peg, who is at home with her sick little boy. : (

Now, for the SeXPeRiMeNT part of this post:

Last night, at dinner, our friends were telling us about this pastor who has challenged his married members of his congregation to have sex with each other. Not with each other as in an orgy-each-other, but with their OWN SPOUSES! Duh. You can read this link to learn more. So our friends were going to take the challenge. Of course, the husband is all for it. What husband WOULDN'T be?

I said, "I think the only time we ever did it that many times was in college when we did it like eight days in a row." (I don't know what was up but SOMETHING was in the air then!) And then, when we were trying to conceive Tukey, I MADE Mr. Manic "have relations" with me THIRTEEN days in a row. What's the big deal? I wanted to make sure he got me when I was ovulatin'. For the record, HE DID! And I didn't want to have to try again the following month. Making babies is a pain in the ass.

So, during dinner, we continued talking about this challenge to have sex for seven days in a row, wondered if we could do it (ha, pun intended!). I made jokes about it being just like an exercise program. We would HATE it in the beginning. It would be a chore. But then we'd feel great after we got it over with. And then maybe after the seven days, we'd continue to want to do it. Maybe we'd find that we'd like it.

Maybe it would become like a game, trying to figure out how to sneak away from the kids, like instead of being in the old days when we would try to figure out how to sneak away from the parents (and dear God, yeah, my mom reads this, so now she's gonna call and say, "When and where were YOU HAVING SEX when you were UNDER MY ROOF!?!?!? -- So Mom, just don't call.) now we will just have to figure out how to hide from the kids, which usually I just say, "Honey, I need you to help me with this shelf that fell down in the closet up here!" That's code.

So, we're talking at dinner about doing this challenge and I'm like, "So, you wanna try it" and Mr. Manic looks at his watch and says, "Sure why not, we already got one out of the way about three hours ago!"

How's that for romance?

And for the record, today, Sunday, is Day Two, and we're officially Two for Two.

I've told him we don't have to be romantic. I don't want romance. I don't care about the Big O for me. His are easy. I don't care if it doesn't last more than 2.2. I'm all about meeting the challenge.

I'm excited to see how this affects our relationship. I'm excited to see how our moods alter. I'm excited to see how he acts toward me when he comes home from work. I'm excited to see how we interact during the day. I'm excited to see if he'll notice I won't do any laundry this week or make dinner or unload the dishwasher either. I'm excited to see how we communicate differently. I'm excited to see how we connect physically, emotionally, spiritually.

And Mr. Manic?

Well, he's just excited.

So, check back to see how things are going! And let me know if you take the challenge or what your thoughts are on Seven Sexy Days!

Bang-Bang & BlogHer '09

I got my hair cut and got the bangs I talked about in the previous post that no one wanted me to get.

When Diva got off the bus, she screamed at me, horrified, telling me I looked ugly and how could I do that when I promised her that I wouldn't get bangs! "I hate them! I hate them! I hate them!" She yelled and then stomped ahead of me toward home.

What a warm and heartfelt welcome.

The boys kinda looked at me and said, "You look different." I think one of them said, "I don't like your hair."

Mr. Manic came home. And didn't say anything. Then he started calling me "Bangy." "Hey there, Mrs. Bangy."

I "thought" I liked them.

What do I know.

In OTHER non-hair-related, but Blog-related news, I am SOOOO going to BlogHer '09 because, yes, my friends, it's in CHICAGO!!

And more good news, my hair will have grown out by then!

And maybe I'll find a new family who will love me not only for my hairstyle by then too!