BooK GiVeaWay: DaWN MeeHaN'S you'LL LoSe THe BaBy WeiGHT

BOOK GIVEAWAY!

OK book groupies! This is what you’ve been waiting for! I’m giving away Dawn Meehan's You’ll Lose the Baby Weight (and OTHER LIES about pregnancy and childbirth).

In fact, I’m giving away TWO copies. All you need to do is leave me a comment about pregnancy. Yours or someone else’s, but make it funny! This may or may not be a random drawing!

Dawn’s book is HILARIOUS, but you already knew that because you’re a fan of her blog already, or else you wouldn’t be here trying to win her book!

Laugh-out-loud chapters in You’ll Lose the Baby Weight include:

–Am I Pregnant or Is Aunt Flo Knocking?
–The “Do You Weigh More Than an Elephant?” Test
–Tinkle Tinkle Little Star
–The Dolly Parton Syndrome
–I Just Have a Taste for a Cheeseburger Topped with Caramel Sauce and Calamari

Whether you’ve already had your babies, you’re pregnant, you’re thinking about getting pregnant, Dawn Meehan’s You’ll Lose the Baby Weight (and OTHER LIES about pregnancy and childbirth) is a great read for all mothers.

Dawn’s book makes it easy to laugh through all of the rough times of pregnancy but still makes sure you remember the joyful parts of it too – that the end result is a bouncing beautiful baby that’s yours for the making!

So, leave a funny comment and I’ll pick two winners, or maybe even THREE, depending on my mood, sometime soon!

And come back later because I promise I will post pictures and tell about our amazing trip to the Grand Canyon, and no, we didn’t take mules down to the bottom, a la Brady Style, but we did come across a load of donkey poo on some trails!

Thanks Dawn for this great fun book on the biggest lie of ‘em all … Losing the Baby Weight!

aRe you a ReaL MoM?

Hey there! I wanted to share something with you - I'm going to be blogging about some mom stuff over at Real Moms Guide daily, but STILL dishing about the real personal stuff here, like how Tukey has visited the ER twice in three weeks, and like how I have been FREEZING here (OK, it is only 70 but wow, does the blood really thin THAT quickly?) But I'm NOT going to tell you how our 'sex' code has gone from "Can you come fix the shelf in the closet?" to "Honey, I need you to help me out here by the garbage cans!" ...

Oops, I think I just spilled the beans on that one...

But anyway, here's a new endeavor for me, blogging for sheknows.com Real Moms Guide that I'm really excited about and I hope you'll stop by and check out some of the new posts that I've written and comment on a few!

I've shared the recipe on how to make an official Pool Boy over there, and also written a post called Football Schmootball. There are also loads of great holiday gift guide suggestions, so why don't you hop on over there to see what the Real Moms are talking about!

You can visit the Real Moms Guide HERE:

Real Moms Guide

Then come back over here to visit because I do have a copy of You'll Lose the Baby Weight by Dawn Meehan to give away before Thanksgiving ... I PROMISE!!!

Thanks for reading!

PeaCe uP!

~MaNiC MoMMy

LauNDRy RaNT

I’ve got a million other things to do but laundry just interrupted my life so now I’m going on a laundry rant since I just spent an hour folding about 7 loads of kid’s clothes, 5 bed’s worth of sheets and towels and dish towels. It has made me angry and venting about this stupid stupid STUPID chore will make me feel better. I already feel better as my fingers fly along the keyboard.

Anyone who loves doing laundry is a freaking idiot. Sorry, but you are. OK, I can understand someone loving the smell of laundry. I can understand someone LOVING the fact that all the laundry is done, but anyone in their right mind that actually says, “OH WOW, I get to do laundry today, I am SOOOOO excited… “

YOU ARE AN IMBECILE.

Are you out there?

Cuz if you are, you are a knucklehead.

It is NOT fun.

It’s a stupid chore with stupid ‘rules’ and I’m going to tell you the stupid rules that I cannot stand:

First of all, I cannot stand the fact that you are supposed to fold underwear. I refuse to fold underwear. WHY fold underwear? Seriously, that is the dumbest thing in the entire world to do. Let’s all fold a piece of clothing that goes onto your body that no one is going to see. Who cares if there is a crease in them where you’re supposed to fold them? Nope, I toss the underwear in the drawer. That’s the most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard. Let’s fold underwear.

OK, and actually, that’s not first. First and foremost is I hate putting clothes into a drawer. THAT is the dumbest thing. You have to TAKE THEM OUT OF THE DRAWER practically the very next day. Why on earth did someone create all these stupid rules for us WOMEN to do, because the majority of laundresses are WOMEN. We women are the ones doing the sorting, washing, drying, folding, taking into appropriate rooms, putting away into appropriate drawers only to have the appropriate kids rifle through them and yell to you that they can’t find their [jersey/jeggings/favorite orange shirt/basketball shirt/special shirt for spirit day] when you know for certain that you washed and folded it and put it right in their drawer just the other day and if they hadn’t trashed their drawers, they could easily find that damn item!

UGH!

Can you tell I have some high blood pressure here?

Other stupid stuff I find in the system of doing laundry … SOCKS.

Sorting and matching socks is the other dumbest thing I’ve ever come across and about five years ago, I decided I am no longer doing it. I got rid of every sock in the house, started FRESH by buying everyone about eight new pairs and got sock bins for everyone. When the laundry is done, the appropriate kids’ sock goes into the bin it belongs to, and in the morning, the kid grabs two socks that inevitably matches. I NO LONGER MATCH SOCKS TOGETHER.

I hate socks and hate matching them and will never in my entire life do that again.

And tonight, after seeing the pile of clean clothes in my bedroom that needed to be sorted, folded and put away, I instituted another new family rule.

I am no longer folding the kids’ stuff anymore.

Nope. I have thrown in the proverbial laundry towel. Of course, it is a CLEAN proverbial towel. Because I DO ALL THE LAUNDRY IN THE HOUSE, but I am NOT FOLDING A TRILLION items anymore, only to have them yell at me that they can’t find this or that or where is my (FILL IN THE BLANK)… They are going to be responsible for their clothes from now on.

I will sort the boys’ clothes into one clothes basket. I will sort Diva’s clothes into one clothes basket. I will tell them to take them upstairs. I will inform them that those are their clean clothes. And that I don’t want to see them anymore.

What they do with them is their choice, although I will strongly suggest they put them into some drawers. I don’t care if they shove them in there. I don’t care if they fold them nicely. I don’t care how they do it. As long as I don’t have to fold their clothes anymore.

Because I think doing laundry SUCKS and I’m so tired of it, and it’s just a waste of time. It seriously is the most ridiculous thing in the world.

Oh wait, I thought of something MORE ridiculous than putting away clothes only to have to take them out the very next day…

Ironing sheets that you put onto your bed.

Why on earth do people do this? Please explain this one to me? Do you sleep better if there are no wrinkles on the sheet? Does it stop insomnia? Do the sheets smell better? Do you have better dreams? Does ironing the sheets help the flabby part of the arm (cuz if that’s the case, maybe I should give it a shot, cuz the ShakeWeight I bought isn’t doing the trick … but I guess I have to actually pick it up in order to have it work!

OK, I feel much better. Share your laundry gripes with me! Because if you’ve read this far, I know you don’t love laundry either! : )

If you liked this rant, please share the link with your friends. Send them an email with the link to this rant! My next rant will be Kid-Shit Rant ... Why they can never find their shit when they had it last yet of course, we moms know exactly where that item is. I might change this blog name to MaNiCRaNt. Nice ring to it, huh?

Also, check back later this week as I'll be giving away Dawn Meehan's new book, You'll Lose the Baby Weight (and OTHER LIES about pregnancy and childbirth ... don't get me started on THAT rant!...

Update: Oh I am pissed off. The boys went upstairs and LEFT THE LAUNDRY BASKETS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RAGE!!!!!!!

NoT youR uSuaL MaNiC PoST

Searching for a new church home reminds me much of the fairy tale Goldilocks and the three bears. Our family is Goldilocks, and I guess there are no bears in this story, but the churches become the bowls of porridge, the chairs and the lumpy beds. It’s very hard to find one that is just right for our family.

There are no bears.

We had a great church back home. We all loved going there. We weren’t hodunk involved like going to small groups or doing major volunteering, but I do feel that as far as the average family goes, ours is pretty religious and that I can honestly say I feel good about how Mr. Manic and I are raising our children to grow up to have some belief in a family faith. And that’s important to us. I was really sad to leave Trinity. The pastor was awesome; his messages made an impact on all of us; my kids would mention his sermons weeks later, they would TAKE something from the lessons, and that means something, when a kid can sit and listen in church and GET something out of it. To me, that means something important.

The music is a big part for our family too. Since Ajers plays guitar, and Tukey plays the piano, they are all interested in a band-led worship. No offense to anyone reading, but I want to worship my God with great music and loud noise. I always, always look in amazement at those people who are brave enough and God-loving enough who can raise their arms in praise while singing. I look at them and wonder what has taken hold of them to give them that kind of security and sense of freedom to just do that and not care what others think? Why can’t I be like that? I would look ridiculous. What do I care? I don’t know. Does admitting this make me look ridiculous? I wonder.

So, when we moved here, we started our church search. Hey, that’s an interesting rhyme. I found one right away that looked good on the outside. We went. It was too small. People were kind. But man, it was small, and I guess the word is rudimentary. The altar looked as if it was fashioned from a preschool playtime, and it shocked both Mr. Manic and me when during communion the pastor gave BABIES communion. WHAT? That is just not right. Even for someone as open and liberal as me, that really freaked me out. And it takes a LOT to freak me out. Right? This was a church that we all silently wished we could have walked out during the service. Had it been a bad movie, we would have walked out. But we couldn’t disrespect God and walk out of his place, even though none of us felt it was a place for us.

The next church we went to was, well, it was too … I’m not sure … OK, it was a bit too formal for us. It claimed to be contemporary, and the music was almost on track, but the pastor was in robes, and the place was really big. It had a Catholic feel to it, and before you yell, “What’s wrong with Catholicism?” NOTHING! I was raised Catholic. I went to Catholic school for 11 years. But this place also didn’t feel exactly right for us. We actually went to this church twice, and while we liked it, I felt like there might be a better place for us. We ventured out again.

Next, we went to the Sam’s Club of churches. This one wasn’t a Lutheran Church, it had a huge band, and was too immense for us. The place was an estate, and I felt immediately displaced, like I would never find my place there, like I would be just another fish in the huge ocean of fish there. The ‘church’ was an auditorium. Not happening.

And then, we found a church that upon entering, we felt like it might work out. It wasn’t too big, it wasn’t too small. The music was nice, the pastor’s lesson was meaningful without being over-the-top, and he didn’t drone on and on. My kids didn’t sit there and fidget or roll their eyes, or kick each other while they waited for it to end, or ask me how much longer till it was over. They also had just opened another campus called MegaLife that was more music-based and so we went there to check it out last week and really, really liked it. Great music, great lesson, that ALL three of my kids talked freely about in the car on our way home. We spoke with some members on our way out, and it just gave us a really good feeling.

It takes a while for a church to feel like a home, but I think we’re going to give this one a chance. Just like it’s taken a while for our home here to feel like a home. But at five months in now, we’re given it a chance, and it’s finally feeling like home. I think God does have a plan for all of us, and He’s led us to the place we’re supposed to be, spiritually and physically. Maybe I do feel a bit like Goldilocks afterall.

PeaCe uP

a MeMoRy

The first time I went to breakfast with my then-boyfriend, now-husband, the waitress asked him if he wanted coffee. I didn't know he drank coffee--I barely knew his name.

She asked him how he took it. He said, "I like it black, like my women."

I hit him over the head with the menu and then was mortified that I did that.

We barely knew one another.

We went back to his place and had sex for the first time.

God, I adore that man.

* * *

I'll announce two winners for Kim's book at the end of the weekend so you can still pop over and enter to win All I Can Handle in the post below. Seems like I married all I can handle hmmm?

aLL i CaN HaNDLe

Two winners chosen:
Heather, heatherahaley@gmail.com
and Jodi, keeper236@charter.net

Ladies, please email me your addresses so I can send you your books!

Thanks to all who entered, and we have another great giveaway coming up! My dear friend, Dawn Meehan and her hilarious book, You'll Lose the Baby Weight (and OTHER LIES) about pregnancy and childbirth). Ajers just turned 13 and I'm still holding on to the babyweight!

Thanks everyone for entering and reading MaNiC MoMMy! And thanks to Kim Stagliano for writing an incredible book, for having 3 gorgeous daughters, and for your tireless efforts on behalf of the autism community! xo

PeaCe uP!


BooK GiVeaWay! * BooK GiVeaWay!

The past half a year I’ve spent a lot of time on this blog, if not complaining about my life, well then, at least griping about what’s been going on. My husband lost his job. We had to move across the country. I’ve had to adjust to a new environment, get my kids acclimated to their new surroundings, get myself adjusted to the heat, the new city, the new everything. I’ve had to deal with a whole new way of living. I had to leave all my good friends; my children had to leave all the friends they had, they had to get used to going to a new school, we had to leave a neighborhood we loved. It had been hard.

I’ve complained about my husband traveling, about my crappy van (which, we welcomed a 2011 Odyssey into the family last week!), and I’ve complained about snakes and the heat, and many, many things lately here on MaNiC MoMMy.

But really, I don’t know what hard is.

Here I am thinking I had all I can handle. What the hell do I know?

I have a great friend whom I met online about five years ago named Kim Stagliano. Somehow we just clicked. I don’t know how two people click through the internet, but I liked her, and maybe she liked me? We had missed opportunities to meet each other in real life twice in Chicago (my fault – kid stuff came up) and I totally regret it. She has been a sounding board to me in my writing, someone I can email with questions, or send a joke to, or check in with to see how things are going. Kim even sent me a birthday gift one year, what a thoughtful thing to do for a friend online! She is an amazing woman.

And maybe you’ve heard of her already? If not, you will, because she is the type of woman who gets things done and makes herself known.

I need a swift kick in the ass for all the complaining and griping I’ve done here on this blog. Kim has three beautiful daughters with autism. She’s also raising awareness for autism! She’s so freakin’ funny that you’ll never feel sorry for her; in fact, she’ll make you jealous! But like in the very possible good way, like you'll think, "I really like this girl, I wanna be friends with her type of jealousy" not like you hate her jealousy, let me just clear that up for ya! You’ll laugh with hysteria over her “kiminolgies” (That’s a word *I* made up for all the cool words SHE made up, like:

CRAPISODES: a big shit episode

STAGTRASTROPHE: a big disaster in the Stagliano’s life

KIMOIR: Kim’s memoir, which is what I’m going to tell you about now …

Kim’s very first book, All I Can Handle is coming out November 1, published by Skyhorse Publishing, and yes, it discusses autism, but this is NOT a book JUST for the autism community. This is a book for everyone. Anyone who has ever thought, man, my life kinda sucks, or man, my life is not exactly what I thought it was all cracked up to be.

It’s for all moms out there who are doing their damndest to raise their kids the best they can. It’s for all parents who fight to get their kids the best no matter what types of obstacles their kids might face.

All I Can Handle is a book is for anyone who just wants to take a break and read a story from a hilarious and heartfelt writer who will not make you feel sad or sorry, but will make you breathe in deep and say, “Thank you God, for making people like this, and for giving the world children as sweet as this, and for creating loving families like this in our world who will not give up and who will take a stand to do what they believe in.”

Kim is this kind of writer. She’s funny and true, she writes things that you won’t believe a mom of three autistic girls would ever say, but they are things that have you cracking up out loud!

And when you’re done reading ALL I CAN HANDLE, I’M NO MOTHER TERESA, you will say to yourself, “Man, I really want to meet Kim and Mark, and I definitely want to meet Mia, Gianna and Bella and hug the Bejeezus out of them. At least that’s what I want to do. And I know someday, I will!

But for now, until I do get to meet Kim and crew, thanks to Kim and Skyhorse Publishing, I’m able to give away a signed copy of ALL I CAN HANDLE.

But WAIT! That’s NOT ALL! I am going to throw in another copy because I want to support Kim and also cuz I love all you guys who are STILL HERE reading MaNiC! So, there’s two copies (one signed, and the other will have a signed bookplate attached).

Leave a comment and please include your email so I can easily reach you, and I’ll draw winners in a week or so!

Thanks Kim, and congrats on this great success! And thanks to Miss Snark for connecting the two of us! Long live Snark (who has been gone for far too long)! ... I know she is soooo proud of you Kim!

More book reviews and giveaways coming soon, including The Life You’ve Imagined by Kristina Riggle, Getting Revenge on Lauren Wood by Eileen Cook, What’s Up Down There by Lissa Rankin (A great book on the wonders of the vagina!), Skipping a Beat by Sarah Pekkanen (yup, scored an Advanced Reader’s Copy!), and so much more! I’m behind on reviews, and trying to catch up!

Xoxox

PeaCe uP

~MaNiC MoMMy

PS--I dare you to go back and count how many times I used the word "like" in this blog post. Lots.

MaNiC's MoBiLe (aS iN CaR, NoT PHoNe)

Bloggy Bloggerson here. I have been a horrible blogger lately and not because there’s not anything to blog about. I should be blogging daily, but I guess my excuse is when there used to be time to blog, there is no time any longer.

You see, I don’t carpool anymore.

Way back when, I had a posse of people who I could count on to either take, pick up, drive here or drive there. AND, these drives were quick and easy, right down the street. Across the way, up and down the avenue. AND, I knew where I was going to get to places. Things were simple.

Not so much anymore.

Not only do I not have a posse of people to help me get kids to one of these following events each week:

Two basketball teams
Art class
Another basketball program
Piano
Guitar

… But I also have to figure out where all of these basketball games are being held in this place they call “The Valley.” Apparently, I live in a valley now. And I drive around in this valley in my “GT” aka The Green Turd minivan that the kids so lovingly christened it and I have no clue where I am going because when we got the GT like nine years ago, GPS wasn’t even invented! In fact, when we got the GT, DVDs were NOT even invented yet! Seriously! We have a VHS player in this minivan! And it’s so old, the back windows don’t even open and it’s dripping some fluid now that looks like snake blood (because you know now that I know what snake blood looks like), and well, it is about to DIE!

So, having said that, the good news is I’m getting another TURD! Oops, I mean, I’m getting another MINIVAN.

Shall we all jump for joy here?

One of the very first articles I ever wrote that got published (and if I can find it, I will repost it here) was about how I swore I would never do three things as a parent: Let my kids watch Barney (did that), let them dictate my life (did that), and drive a minivan (have done that for nine years)… and now apparently, I’m going to be doing that for ANOTHER NINE years.

Yep, my life rocks.

And like the last time I got a brand new car, I don’t have many requests. I told Mr. Manic that I only wanted the kind of doors that slid open. I got that. And that was about it. That was my only request for that car.

My request for this new and improved minivan?

No leather seats.

Because living in this “Valley” it’s too freaking HOT!

Actually, I do have one more teeny request for this next minivan I receive, and I won’t even go to the car dealer with him. I won’t even test drive it with him. I have that much faith that he will provide me with a winning automobile. And I really don’t even care what color it is, as long as it’s not black cuz that will suck in all the heat possible and continue to burn me (see above request for no leather).

My other request for this new car?

Please get me one with a GPS – I keep getting lost with all this driving around in this God-forsaken desert I live in!

Thanks! And MaNiC is out!

PeaCe uP

~MaNiC MoMMy