Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Karma & The Agent (Not Mine, Another One)

OK, first you have to read this:
Best Rejection Letter EVER

Go ahead. I'll wait here for you.

Done yet?

I sounded bitter didn't I? I sounded angry, didn't I? I remember when this happened, when she wrote back:

"I'm sorry; as a woman who plans to never have children, this just doesn't resonate with me either."


I remember thinking, "OK, wow. So I'm sure literary agents don't want to go out and commit crimes, murder, lure strangers into bed, fight dragons and dinosaurs, morph into evil-eared dwarves, make love with aliens (unless they're hot, well-endowed aliens), but they will represent books with those subjects, right?

So I never did understand why Prominent Literary Agent would not even give 40 Weeks and my writing an inkling of a chance. All because she was a woman who never planned on having children? I don't plan on having an affair, or killing my father, or falling back in love with an ex. Or getting a dog. But I write about these things, these strange phenomena.

It was frustrating. I mean, come on, at least read a couple pages and tell me it sucked or something.

(Not that it does because my own fabulous Prominent NY Literary Agent has told me so!)

But anyway, Karma is a little funny thing, isn't it, in a strange little way. Turns out 40 Weeks may not make it to the bestseller list, or maybe it will someday, or maybe some other book of mine will get published someday, but, the whole "I bet you wish you were my agent because I'm rich, rich, rich" thing quite possibly isn't going to fly in the face of Karma with this one, and I'm OK with that. I know that writing 40 Weeks was important for me, that so many people have the desire to write a book yet so many of them never do, or do get started and then give up, and I haven't done that. And 40 Weeks has gotten me my own fabulous Prominent NY Literary Agent, and I'm moving forward to find the niche to get published because of her.

I'm not about getting even, and this isn't about wishing ill-will toward anyone, really. You know me. I'm a nice person. I believe in The Secret for crying out loud! But I have always been stumped by why I would receive a rejection without even been given the chance to show my work all because it was on a subject of no interest to the agent.

But now, to get to the point of this post, in a turn of interesting events, I have discovered that original Prominent Literary Agent has secured her own little bun in her oven.

And, I think that's great, truly. I think it's wonderful. It was disheartening for me to hear that she didn't want kids. How could you not want children? They are the backbone of our universe, they cast light on dreary days, they turn my upside-down days upside-right, they are my joy and my life and my loves, and for someone to say they want no part of that makes me weep! Weep, I tell you!

So, hearing that this Prominent Literary Agent has crossed over to the other side and will be embracing motherhood makes me happy for her. For her, and her baby whom I am sure she will love and care for with the fervor she cares for her clients, for her books, for her friends and family. She is, from what I know, and from my friends who know her, a top-notch agent who will undoubtedly become a top-notch Mom!

I just wonder if she remembers she rejected me based on that, and if she felt like telling me she was sorry? Cuz that would make me feel kinda better. And then I could tell her to be sure to pick up a copy of 40 Weeks when it hits the shelves, and if she'd like, I'd even be happy to autograph it for her!


Drewpy Drew said...

Does this mean that I'll get pregnant if I don't read your book? Please send me a copy as soon as you get published. I don't want to take any chances.

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Drew, I wish that was the case--it would be the BEST form of birthcontrol E V E R!!

The Anti-Wife said...

Not wanting kids doesn't make you a bad person. I didn't have stellar examples of parenting and was afraid I would inflict the same kind of emotional scars I suffered on kids, so until I was in my mid 30's I chose not to have them. Then I got cancer and the choice was no longer mine. I don't regret not having kids because I don't think I would have been a good mother, but I would really have loved to have some grandkids to spoil.

John Robison said...

I think agents have to believe in what they represent, and that agent just wasn't in a "pregnancy story" kind of place at that time.

Maybe now she is.

I don't think you need to have affairs or sex with aliens to rep those books either, but you have to be in a place where you can embrace the concept.

Some people just are not there when it comes to kids.

Look at my book. No pregnancy, but my little brother is chased with sicks and dead snakes, then chained to the oil tank in the basement, and then stuck in a hole upside down.

So what does that tell you about an agent who'd represent it?

I guess it's like sex with aliens. You don't need a dead snake in your hand to embrace the concept.

Anonymous said...

Sex with aliens is good.

Rusty Nails said...

Manic, you're a good person. Frankly, I wouldn't be nearly as gracious in attitude toward PLA as you are.

I hope she does remember her rejection statement and realizes, "Ugh, what an ididot I was."

Alternately, maybe her attitude is still the same...she doesn't want kids, it was a "goof" and she'll hate / reject the little fella or gal. That would be sad. Pity the child.

You keep writing. It will happen. Most successful comedians have been booed off stage their first attempts. And, AC/DC got booed horribly their first few appearances in the U.S.

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

I remember booing The Beastie Boys at Madonna's Like A Virgin tour when they opened for her in 1984.

Stephanie J. Blake said...

karma karma karma...

You know what? I had a weird experience, yesterday.

An agent rejected one of my middle grade novels BECAUSE a client of his has a similar theme in her new novel. Well, guess what?

That client is also a book editor and SHE requested a FULL at Farrar Straus & Giroux!

The writer/editor is at www.Lisa

How weird, huh???

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

That's awesome CW! (Do they do adult fiction?!?!)

Patti said...

this is so delicious i want seconds! it's the stuff i dream about, and i sooo hope you hear from her again and she's all "damn, how wrong was i?!"

please tell us when that happens...~snark~

Stephanie J. Blake said...

YES! literary fiction, non and children's

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

NO Beth! I don't want that! I want for her to be like, "Oh man, how could I have NOT wanted to go through this. It's a beautiful experience, and I was so wrong to think otherwise."

g. said...

OMG ! I TOTALLY know who you are talking about AND I got the same song and dance from her, "Im never having kids so Im not interested in books that deal with people having kids" blech... hahahahaha.

too funny, maybe I should re-submit to her now and she if she would reconsider ? LOL


MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

G--I'd resubmit if I were you! And when you do, send my congrats along the way. I guess she's due soon.

BTW, DARLING pics of Owen!!! I wanted to comment but there wasn't a place on his page to do so! Hope Aiden is doing good as a happy big bro!

DJ Kirkby said...

oooh I hope you sell millions! and millions! and open your own agency...and decide to represent me! Not that I have an overactive imagination or anything...seriously though, I wish you all the best and the first agent the shock of her life when your book hits the stratosphere of sales and she recognises the story she rejected!

Jenster said...

That, my friend, is what we call poetic justice!

Anonymous said...

HA! Tell her to buy her own copy and GET BENT. ;)

Anonymous said...


CLH said...

What goes around comes around, eh? I'd totally send her an email. You have an agent... go ahead and be a little bold and 'snarky'.

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

ANON--IF you could only hear how freaking L O U D I am laughing alone in my house right now.

I love you man!!! You have to please OUT yourself to me via an email so we can have a good laugh over this. SOOOOO HILARIOUS.

Oh wait, this could be the Swishter. Hmmmm?

xxxx said...

Not me, but TOO FUNNY!!!

Anonymous said...

Geez, I hope you didn't query her about a story where a woman gives birth to a 19 pound girl in the back of a NY taxi stuck on the Henry Hudson during a hailstorm.... On Christmas Eve.


Eileen said...

I've heard similar rejections. In the end they have to love the story and subject if they're going to sell it. If they don't they aren't the agent. My agent doesn't like blood and gore. May be great blood and gore, but she just doesn't like it. I lump all that feedback into the bucket of "different strokes for different folks."

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

So true Eileen, but now are you putting cute darling little babies in that same bucket of blood and gore. I don't get it...

Bwahahahahah, yes I do!!!

Off to go see the movie KNOCKED UP right now. How's THAT for appropriate!

xxxx said...

I saw Knocked Up!! It made me not want to be knocked up!

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Swish--the whole view of the vagina thing kinda freaked me out, but in a way like how I was freaked out in Something About Mary where you get a quick glimpse of Ben Stiller's sac and you're like "Ewwww gross," one second, and then the next you're like, "Damn, I wish I had a rewind button on this!"

Loved the movie though! And loved that dude Ben Stone. What a name for that character... hee hee, "I'm ben stone... I've been stoned..."

OK, going to bed now.

M said...

Just wanted to offer another perspective . . .

I think I would make a perfectly good mother. However I choose not to have children. I do not want them, and I don't think there is anything sad about that. I would never "weep" because someone chose to have kids, though I don't personally find it a very appealing prospect, and I find it disconcerting that someone else would view a choice I'm happy and content with as if it is some sort of tragedy.

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

M, thank you for your perspective. It was open and honest. You know the part about me 'weeping' and saying it's 'tragic' is just me trying to be humorous. Not intending to offend anyone! : )

Slackermommy said...

I love karma! 40 Weeks sounds like a book I would love to read. Especially for the uterus fluttering doctor.

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Thanks Slackermommy. My agent has shopped it to quite a few editors and it has made it to a couple of the round table meetings where all the depts discuss the book. Sadly, it hasn't gotten the YES yet, but I'm still plugging away!

Thanks for saying you'd read it!
: )

Jenster said...

Totally off subject here, but I just now noticed you're flipping off the camera in your picture!! LOL

Yeah, I'm a little slow...

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Yeah Jen, like three years too slow! LOL!

M said...

I wasn't offended by your word choice. It's just the sentiment behind the words that affected me.

I got the feeling from this post that you think choosing not to have kids is somehow a universally sad choice--as if because someone decides that for their life that they are missing out on something. Clearly in your life, and the lives of many other parents, it would be missing out if kids were not in the picture, but for many who chooose to not have kids, it isn't missing out at all, since we don't want kids (thus, the reason for choosing to not have them).

People are not all alike and just because something is a great experience for one doesn't mean it is or has to be for another. Unless I misread your entire post, it seems that you view choosing to not have children (or in the case of the agent, even not being interested enough in parenting/pregnancy to want to represent a book about it) as something that is sad and to be mourned or pitied or corrected.

Perhaps the part about the agent being wrong for not finding parenthood appealing had something to do with my interpretation, too. I just don't get the wrong/right thing, like is it not possible in some people's eyes for some to not want kids and for that to actually be the right choice for them?

This is your blog and of course you can say anything you wish; I just found your view toward those who do not want children, or aren't interested in parenting issues like those in your novel, to be offputting and thought I'd comment on it. I think a lot of parents might have felt similarly if someone described their choice to have kids in the way the choice not to was described here.

If my comments still seem that off the mark to you, then perhaps I really am completely misreading your entire post and the messages behind it. I see the humor, but I don't think that negates the point behind the humor, too, does it? If so, I'm a much worse reader than I realized, and I apologize for putting words in your mouth and for my faulty reading of this piece. Either way, I just wanted to reply to your response. Thanks for listening and being open to letting me share my view.

P.s. Thanks for your kind thoughts about my dog. And good luck with the book(s).

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

M--I am going to totally reply to this but I have to leave for a bit, please check back! Thanks for your thoughts. It gives me much to think about!

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Hey M, I think the whole point of the post was kind of to jab at the situation that the agent "never" wanted kids and that it didn't "resonate" with her and the next minute, she pops up pregnant. If a person’s that adamant about not wanting children, there are many ways, permanent and temporary, to keep oneself from getting pregnant. So to me, when she said she never wanted kids, she didn’t really mean it. Do you agree on that perspective?

I don't really know people (anyone, really) in my life/world who has made the decision to not have children. Everyone I know who does not have children would like to have them someday, at least they say they do. So I don't know what it's like to not want kids. It’s not wrong, not unacceptable, just something I do not know about. I would love to have a conversation with a woman who did not want children, to really talk with her, to get to know why. It’s just foreign to me. Like I didn’t understand homosexuality until I had more information on it, or racism, or politics, or how to light a fire in the fireplace, or how to stuff a chicken—just some things I do not know about… and I’m curious, that’s all. Intrigued.

When I wrote:
“I think it's wonderful. It was disheartening for me to hear that she didn't want kids. How could you not want children? They are the backbone of our universe, they cast light on dreary days, they turn my upside-down days upside-right, they are my joy and my life and my loves, and for someone to say they want no part of that makes me weep! Weep, I tell you!”…

…That paragraph was all true sarcasm, dripping, loaded with sarcasm. And I gripe a shitload about my kids, complain left and right, up and down, but I’m happy with my decision.

Here’s an example of the type of people I’m talking about. For instance, my brother, the one who just got married last year, was around all of our kids all week in Florida. He then thanked me for bringing them around because, “It’s the best form of birth control.” Or when my sister-in-law once saw me freaked out about one of my kids or one of them was spitting up or pooping or something, and she said, “Get me a pair of scissors so I can cut my tubes right now.” She now has a son and is pregnant with another. It’s those kind of people I refer to, the ones who say it but don’t mean it. The ones who rip on the person who has children, claiming they never want them, but then get them.

Since this is such a hot topic, it came up on my writer’s loop and one of the ladies wrote this, just to give any of you readers out there someone else’s perspective:

“I think many women believe they don't want children because they see a negative side to it. They have to 'give something up' in order to do it. Be it income, time, lifestyle, or what have you. Then, in their late 30s, they start to become less focused on themselves and thinking more about getting older, being alone when they are elderly,etc.

I feel very sorry for women who declare they don't want children, and then change their minds when it is just about too late. I'm glad I knew I wanted to be a mother from a very young age and made that a priority over other things in my life. I could have done the high-powered job. I could have lived the single life for a few more years. But life is short. And life is not all about what job you had and how much money you made.

Also, I would rather be sending my kids to college in my 40s, than
changing diapers or potty-training. :-)”

Again, not my words, but someone else's thoughts...

I guess the point of all of this is never say never unless you really mean never. And I’m not talking you, M, literally, just the You in general.

Hope this makes sense, and I really didn’t write what I wrote to be judgmental or make anyone angry. We all have a right to feel the way we do, to live our lives we see best fit to live, agree?

K J Gillenwater said...

Hey! I came to the blog to read the post...and my words made it on here. How nice. :-)

I, too, would really like to pick someone's brain about why they don't want children. I totally understand the one commenter who said she had a bad childhood and didn't want to risk doing the same to any of her own children, so she didn't have any.

(However, I find it interesting this same person also said she would love to 'spoil grandchildren.' If she feels she has the ability to spoil grandchildren, I have a feeling she would have been a fine mother.)

I suppose it is odd for some women to understand the childless because a lot of wanting children and feeling a void without them is most likely due to the drive of reproduction. It is a HUGE drive in both men & women. And that is really not something you can think it's there embedded in everyone somewhere through hormones and other genetic stuff. So, when someone states they don't want children, it seems odd to the majority of us. How did you manage to quell such a huge thing inside of you? It must have been a very big and important reason...right?? And so we are curious and want to know more.

And it does make us mothers sad to hear another woman does not want kids. Because there really is a wonderful joy in life with our children around that is very difficult to put into words. When you don't have children it comes out sounding ridiculous. But there is no better way to recapture youth than to have a child. They make you look at yourself and life a completely different way. The cynicism of adulthood is swept away for just an instant and you can laugh again about the dumbest things and be enthralled again with something that yesterday seemed so ordinary.

Oh, and they do poop and barf and have runny noses. There is gross with the good...didn't mean to leave that out. :-)

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Kristin, Loved your comments on the whole mothering thing. It's totally something I just do not understand either. I love how you said it's a great way to recapture your youth! Nothing like hearing your kid try to tell you a dumb poopy joke and have you interrupt him saying, "Do you know how OLD that joke is!?!?!" They still think the same stuff is funny as we did! Thanks for sharing!

M said...

Thanks for your response, MM. You and I have had a conversation about this, though only through email.

As for why someone wouldn't want children, I've discussed that here before too.

It's for the same reasons I don't want anything that doesn't appeal to me. There is an absence of want. See how you want kids? Well imagine if that wanting feeling was not there. That's how I feel. There is no desire for kids.

I have a hard time seeing what is hard to get about it. It's no different than one person wanting crab for dinner and another wanting burritos. One liking blue and one liking pink. Etc. Some things appeal to some and not to others.

One can give all the reasons in the world pro or con, but in the end it comes down to what's in one's heart. Just as your heart wanted kids, mine does not. That's really all there is to it.

When you see it as such a bizarre thing that requires understanding and learning about, to me, it makes it sound as if I am doing some freaky thing.

I don't feel the urge to have kids yet somehow I am able to understand why someone else would. That's another reason why I can't understand why it's so hard, as one who wants kids, to understand why someone else would not. Are you only able to get people who are just like you? I'm not saying that as an insult, I just can 't make sense of what there is to get or why it would be hard to understand someone wanting something different for their lives and family than what you and those you know would want.

Anyhow, I plan to write my own post about this issue, because lately I've read a lot of things online about those of us who have chosen not to have kids, that frankly is pretty disturbing. Perhaps what I write will help you get it more, though likely not because I have no other way to explain it than how I've explained it here and previously on this site and through email with you.

Either way, thanks for taking the time to clarify your post. I appreciate it and I understand some of your points. And I do get what's weird about her saying "never" and then getting pregnant. But, I don't get what's weird about her not wanting to rep. the book when the topic was of no interest to her.

And just FYI, I don't usually say "never" about anything, because I know change is always possible. But I think that in general the childfree are just as certain of their choices as parents are.

Anonymous said...

Steph, no offense, but people have different interests and dreams. For many people, children just isn't part of that. That doesn't make them a bad person. Perhaps they know themselves and know that they wouldn't be a good parent. Perhaps they just don't like kids. Perhaps they want to concentrate on their career. Perhaps they're so disgusted with the way the world is going these days that ethically and morally tehy don't see how they could possibly in good conscience bring a child into it.

Who's to say that their choices aren't as valid or important as yours? They're living their life and you're living your life.

Live and let live.

And you know what? You want a literary agent who *gets* your book. Who loves it and will do whatever it takes to get it published. A non-mommy isn't ever going to be the best advocate for a mommy lit. She probably doesn't even read that genre, so why would you ever want someone who doesn't *get it* to represent you?

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Amanda and M,

Thanks for writing about this topic. I think being open and sharing your thoughts are helping me to understand more.

M--great analogies on the crab verses a burrito for dinner, but here I am and my mind is twirling and I'm thinking of it as if someone is saying "I'd like crab for dinner" while the other one says, "I don't want anything for dinner."

See, maybe I still don't understand it?

Amanda--I do totally get the point about wanting someone who gets the whole book thing, and you want an advocate for your book. and she was not that person.

Anyway, I do appreciate you guys being open and sharing your thoughts and I guess I just need to be more considerate and aware of those who make choices in life I don't understand.

Live and let live--agree!

: )

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your comment on my blog. Nope, I'm not offended. To be honest, I think I'll probably want kids eventually, just not now.

That being said, I was strongly in the "I'm not having kids...ever" camp until very recently. I've only moved into the "I'll probably eventually have kids" camp because my hubby wants kids. Fortunately he knows I'm not ready for them (even though he is...he's 5 years older than me and all his friends have kids, whereas almost none of mine do).

But I can totally understand not wanting kids. Kids are messy. They cost money. They take time. And I still don't get any ping of desire when I see others' kids. In fact, mostly the opposite--I say "thank goodness that's not me!"

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Amanda--so with you on these thoughts. My hubby wanted them before I did. And at 20, I was adamant about not wanting kids. They are messy. But they are also wonderful!

xxxx said...

I would like kids someday, but I can totally understand why people wouldn't. Like the book Baby Proof says, many people put more thought into whether they should get a dog than whether they should have kids, and I can respect anyone who respects parenthood enough to know it's not for them just because it's the popular thing to do.

Some people can't understand how a woman could stay at home with her kids. Others don't understand how a mom could work. Some people don't understand why someone would choose to be a vegetarian when there are all kinds of delicious steaks and burgers to be eaten (that's me!); others are repulsed by a great, big juicy steak. I think the beautiful thing about the way our society is evolving is that we don't HAVE to understand the differences, necessarily, to appreciate them and the right to express them.

I also don't think you need to have a child to impact a child or to make the world better for children. Some people don't want to have kids ALONE, and I think it can be a touchy area to judge someone on a decision that's not necessarily solely up to them if that's the case.

I must say, all of the comments are fascinating, though, huh, Manic?

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Swish you said it so beautifully, and you reminded me that when I had Ajers, I SWORE up and down that I was NEVER going to be a stay-at-home mom... hellloooo? What am I? A stay-at-home mom! And I love it, and I now say I will NEVER go back to a full-time office job (which I did do for a year after I had Ajers)... so things do change, people say NEVER but don't necessarily mean it, or things happen so the never becomes a now, and we live and we learn and hopefully, bottom line is that we live with the choices that we make and are happy, completely happy with them.

xxxx said...


I had to laugh, because you reminded ME that when I was in college, I took an entreprenuerial (how the hell DO you spell that?!?) seminar and I was like, "I could NEVER, EVER work for myself! EVER!" And now all I want to do is work for myself. Ha.

Anonymous said...

I know who you are talking about and at least you got a reply, I guess if you can call that one. I have sent her four queries in four years for four books and not once did she reply. NEVER. She is the only agent who has never replied to any of my queries. I wrote her off cuz she seemed kinda snobby at a conference I attended. She was acting like we were so lucky to be in her presence. Palease!!! Thanks for the good laugh. She missed a good thing.

M said...

Well, maybe then a better analogy is some people like salad before dinner and some don't. Or, some want to go dancing after dinner, others want to go home. Some want to dye their hair others want their hair just the way it is. Some want plastic surgery, others want their body to stay as it is and always has been.

Comparing not wanting kids to not having any dinner, well, to me it just reflects again the notion I read into your comments here that your view is that life without kids, for anyone and everyone, is empty, and missing something significant.

Like an empty dinner plate, the childfree person is lacking and noticeably missing something essential. He or she is sitting there going without dinner, starving while others partake in a wonderful meal. Wow, what an analogy, huh? You know, if that's how you see it, a million analogies and explanations from me won't ever change that.

I guess I just wanted to voice my view that not everyone wants or needs, nor should everyone have to want or need, the same things. And that one doesn't need to feel a certain way in order to understand and respect that others do feel that way, and that those feelings are just as legitimate and right as their own.

I don't get that feeling here, unfortunately, and I hate to admit that I can't help but feel offended by that (though I know that isn't your intention). I think most would feel that way if someone deemed their choices and lifestyle as being so bizarre and abnormal as to defy all logic and understanding, requiring numerous analogies and explanations and study--and still not making sense even--and compared it to going without something essential and normal and joyful in life.

But, I do very much appreciate that you are so open to my sharing my view on it all anyway and that difference in opinion can be shared here on MMMM without anyone getting nasty and snarky, which is what turns me off to discussion on so many other sites.

So thank you for being so open and supporting civil discussion, but I promise I won't beat a dead horse any further (here at least, I can't promise to not really beat it to death on my own site). I'll just end by saying that I'm very confident that my life is as rich and full and happy as yours and that of any parent, and though your life choices and lifestyle may be quite different from mine and not at all what I want for myself, I have no problem understanding that your choices are just as valid for you as mine are for me, regardless of how different they are from what I want from my own life. Hoping for a similar understanding and respect from others is, I think, only natural, really . . .

(And p.s. I feel the same way about homosexuality, I don't see what there is to get about it. Just as I like the opposite sex, some others like the same sex. It seems so logical to me, but we are all different in how we think and see things.)

And by the way, Amanda, I really liked your comments.

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Hi M, I have insomnia. Thank you for the nice words about the discussion being civil and non-snarky. I would never want it to be that way, and I am truly sincere in my apologies if I've offended you.

I guess I just don't understand, and I should be able to, because I am very open-minded. I definitely know it's not a bad choice or a wrong choice. I don't think people choosing not to have children are in the wrong, or not better than those who do choose to have children. I don't know if I'm making any sense on the whole subject any longer? I don't think you're selfish or anything like that. This is just me trying to understand, and as much as I try, and you are doing a great job with the analogies - about starving - I know you're not starving in your life and you lead a full, rich life, so that was good to make that clear to me.

People want different things in life, and what's right for one person may not be what another person wants. I get that. It's not like I would never not befriend a person who doesn't want kids; I don't want you to think I'm a person like that, someone who would shun someone because of their choices, you know? I've just yet to meet someone personally, (not in cyberspace) who doesn't want kids. It's more of a curiosity thing for me. Just like I would be curious to see how Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt live their busy lives, or to get a sneak peek into the lives of ... pick any celebrity couple... just to get to know them, to see what they're about... to know why they choose to do some things they choose.

I am totally done making sense here, I think we figured that out at the onset of Manic Mom.

I'm sorry that our views don't match, but that doesn't mean we can't like one another. I was never saying I'd hate a person who didn't want kids, or that I was better. I just say I don't understand, and I would like to find a way to understand, but until I meet someone to sit me down and show me the things in their life, and so I can learn more about it, I'm just not going to understand. It's my own fault. I am probably too close-minded. And that's my own fault, and until I can learn more, and be enlightened... and I sit here shaking my head, telling myself to understand because I want to! I really do.

I'm sorry. And I hope this whole conversation didn't anger you. And I really wish the lightbulb would go off in my head.

I want to be the type of person who understands a lot more than I do.

This kinda sucks for me.

Anonymous said...

It’s those kind of people I refer to, the ones who say it but don’t mean it. The ones who rip on the person who has children, claiming they never want them, but then get them.

People change. My best friend swore she would never have children. Then she got married and a few years later, she changed her mind. Now she has two kidlets.

When I got married, my husband and I assumed we'd have children. But as our lives went on, we realized we didn't want to be parents. The idea of having children doesn't appeal to me.

This agent's feelings about having children either changed, or maybe the pregnancy was unplanned. That's her business. I think her rejection letter to you was honest. A pregnant character didn't appeal to her at the time she read your ms. The end.

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Absolutely right Anon! : )

Writer, Rejected said...

You writers seem really great. I love Manic Mom's blog and I posted June 20th entry on my blog Literary Rejections on Display (, which pokes fun at rejection letters. Fertile discussion aside, I think "no thanks, I don't want babies" is pretty close to taking the cake for a reason not to read a book!