Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Tukey's Tooth

Well, it’s a sad day for Manic. But happy also, in a strange mom kind of way.

Something happened today that I will never, ever, ever get to experience in my entire life again. And I have to remember this day forever.

Today is the last time I will ever have a child lose his first tooth, the last time I will ever place a ‘first’ baby tooth under one of my children’s pillows, sharing the story of how the tooth fairy will come get the shiny little chicklet and use it to build her tooth castle.

I’m sad.

As you know, Tukey’s been complaining about his first loose tooth. We went to McDonald’s playland today where he ran around with about six of his classmates. They were playing, having a great time. We moms were sucking back Iced Vanilla coffees, which can offer a nice quick caffeine buzz for those who have not tried the McDonald iced coffees yet.

Then it was time for lunch. I got Tukey his double cheeseburger, ketchup only and he sat with his pals to eat. Next thing you know, he’s jumping up and down in front of me trying to get my attention as I’m gabbing away about whatever, and I see his mouth is full.

“Tukey! You can’t put that much food in your mouth! Here, spit it out!” and I put a napkin up to his mouth and he spits a wad of smushed cheeseburger into the napkin and I toss it out, sit him back down, tell him to slow down on the eating, and retreat back to my girlfriends and coffee.

A minute later: “Mom! My tooth!”

The gaping hole is there! My baby’s tooth is out! My baby’s… Oh Dear God! Did he swallow it? What happened to it? Oh Crap! I threw it in the garbage can!

Damn straight if any of you know me, you know exactly what I did. I face-planted myself into that garbage can and dug in a fury to find that wadded up napkin because I WANTED THAT TOOTH! I NEED THAT TOOTH! I couldn’t wait for that little sucker to come out cuz it was just so dang cute and I had to have it!

I dug, and I dug, and my feet were flailing in the air the deeper I got into that stinky garbage can, and…



Yay me!

Then, I had to rummage through the chewed-up food, and it was like I was doing a CSI episode, searching for clues and DNA, and I FOUND THE SUCKER!

I proudly showed it off to all the moms and they all oohed and ahhed, and I went to the bathroom then to wash it off. I felt like I had retrieved a diamond in the rough! A needle in a haystack! My baby’s tooth!

When I got back to the table, I again settled down to my coffee, my smile spread wide across my face. The tooth fairy was coming! She’d be here tonight, and I had a bright little tooth to offer her!

Then, one of the moms tapped me on the shoulder. I turned to see Tukey sitting with a look of shock on his face, and vomit everywhere.

E V E R Y W H E R E!

One mom was in my way so I pretty much did a football move and tackled her so I could get to my baby. I had to move fast! I know him. I knew he would not be through puking. So I hurl the other mom out of the way and shove Tukey’s face into the garbage can I had just gotten the tooth out of, and he continued to puke.

I thought he was fine. You’ve read some Tukey Pukey stories here. They’re not major deals. I figured he’d sit back down, finish his double cheeseburger and I’d get him to the bus and he could tell his teacher and all his friends that he lost his tooth.

One of the moms said, “You’re not going to send him to school are you?”

Damn. I planned on it! Plus, I had a lunch date! I had already showered. I did my freaking hair! I have mascara, eyeliner, EYE-FREAKING-SHADOW on!!! And lipstick! And now I was not going to be doing lunch because my Tukey needed me at home. I was defeated.

I didn’t send him to school.

He’s F I N E now, practically jumping off the walls, asking about the tooth fairy, telling me he’s going to stay up all night to see the tooth fairy, and here I am missing out on my lunchdate.

Good thing I had the foresight to snag his half-cheeseburger to bring home. Lunch is served!

So, that’s my story, but I thought it would be interesting to get it from the perspective of the one who lost the little darling tooth, so, without further adieu, I bring to you... drumroll, please!...



xxxx said...

I am TOTALLY CRACKING UP over here! Tukey is soo funny. I love that he's all, "And then I puked. Bye bye!"

OK, I know I just said that to you on IM, but it's SO FUNNY!

Cecily R said...

Too Funny! When started the video Isaac and Gracie were in the room. By the "I puked" ending Isaac and I were laughing outloud. So SO FUNNY!

Someday I'll tell you Isaac's first tooth involves fighting with a girl and me searching in pebbles for the sucker.

March2theSea said...

and umm ahhh ummm oh..ummm "yeah I puked"


Unknown said...

Yay! Now if only Diva's will come out...

Oh, and I'm going to have to wait until I get home before I can watch the video. Someone was smart here at work and blocked such things. So I'll be back later!

secretmom said...

Okay that is so hillarious. The story, his video. Love it! He's a doll!

kay said...

he is so cute!!

just last month i had to tell my 6th grader that there was no santa and no tooth fairy. we were both crying so hard. but he is 11 and everyone was giving him a hard time. boo

then i showed him the ziplock baggie that had ALL OF HIS BABY TEETH IN IT!!! he loved it! so i would have been dumpster diving right along side of you sista!!

Randy said...

Omigod, I'm in LOVE. He's soooo cute!

BTW, my SIL was telling me yesterday how she accidentally swallowed a crown last week. You don't wanna know what her dentist made her do. And, yes...she found it...and, yes!! They're gonna re-use it! Euw. But, was $2500 that would have gone down the, er, toilet.

Stephanie J. Blake said...

That is hilarious! You need to have him tell Diva to stop being so wimpy!

EW on the re-using a crown from poo!

We sure didn't use the Hi-Ho Cherri-o cherries, the lego man head OR the dime my kid has swallowed.

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Randy and COlorado--LOL at the lego man head and dime! And Randy, I was thinking, crown--toilet--throan... wait, how do you spell throne... Oh, that's it... toilet, the throne, crown... it all is coming together!

Thanks everyone for saying Tukey is so cute!

KATE said...

You are such a Good Mom!! I can't believe you rummaged thru McDonalds trash!! I'm so impressed, good job!
Way to go Tukey, yay your first tooth!!
Too funny of a story! I LOVE the video, you totally crack me up!!
- Kate

Karen said...

Tukey is so cute

Drewpy Drew said...

Yesterday he was tough and ruthless. Today he is rough and toothless.

M said...

Does he only go to school half day or something, or did you just take him out to lunch on a school day, I was confused by the sequence of events.

Why did he throw up? Is he sick, was it the cheeseburger, or does he just throw up often? I can't believe he can eat the very thing he was eating just before vomiting again later that same day, especially when that thing is a Mcdonald's cheeseburger! I have trouble with food I ate last before vomiting even years later.

Okay, that's it for the nosy and nitpicky questions (I can't help it, those are all the thoughts that spring up as I read) part of my comment. Here's the rest:

Wow, he such a cutie! And funny too. Love how he talks, sort of shy, sort of dramatic and animated. And his facial expressions! I can totally see why you are so pro having kids (you know in our few exchanges on the topic)--you have a real sweetie. I'm sure your other one is too of course.

I hope the Tooth Fairy is very kind to him. (And, oh yeah, I can see his resemblance to you!)

TV Fan said...

That is hilarious. I can't believe you dug through the trash. I love how you kept promting him on the video, "Then what?" HA!

Anonymous said...

Picturing you digging through the trash looking for 1 tooth made me almost pee.

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

IMKAY, I love that you shared that experience with your son!

Andrea, I tried to make Diva twist her tooth tonight, telling her we could save the tooth fairy an extra trip!!

Drew--Rough and toothless--love it!

M--I have a long response for you:
Kindergarten is 1/2 day here. LIke 2-1/2 hours ONLY! So we went with a few classmates to play and have lunch before the bus, which comes at 11:45. They get home from school at 2:45.

He is a big puker, like he'll smell yucky garbage and run to the bathroom to puke, not always, but every now and then. Or if he sees something gross... it's weird. I still keep a container in the car just in case he feels sick! Also with this experience today, he was chewing his cheeseburger, not expecting anything crunchy to be in there, and all of a sudden he bites down on it--that's why he thought there was plastic in his burger. Oh, and *I* ate the rest of the burger (NOT HIM! LOL!), since I got screwed and didn't get to go out to a real grown-up lunch with my friends, but he probably would have eaten it if he didn't know I did! He had mac and cheese (a whole bowl) an hour after the puke episode. I think it just freaked him out--he got the cold sweats, and felt clammy afterward, you know how you can sometimes get after puking.

And I'm with ya on the not wanting that food item after you puke it up. In second grade, I threw up spaghetti and strings of noodles actually came out my nose!


I didn't eat spag for a long time. And I puked chef-boy-ardee beef-a-roni (which I now call Barfaroni) twice in college. Never will I eat that again! Ever!

I love how you describe how you see him in the video, and you are right on with it! Something he does that is sooo adorable is when he's tired, or if it's early a.m. or late, he will start talking really softly and cute, not like baby talk, just a softer tone, and I know he's tired. THank you for saying he is so sweet! He's my tukey pie. And my Diva is 8 and a doll--even though she still has that dang loose tooth! And AJers, my oldest, is one of the kindest people I know. Except when he's picking on TUkey.

Thanks for the comments everyone! Feel free to share that video with anyone who might get a laugh!

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

FYI, I posted another chapter over at 40weeks...

If you like, please pass the link on to anyonw who you think might like to read it. I want to start spreading it like a freaking internet virus! LOL!

XYZinn said...

So gross that you had to dig through the garbage can at McDonald's. Sheesh!! What we do for our kids!!

Anonymous said...

Hey Manic, I found on Kim's site and thought I would have a looksee over here.

You're as mad as me, the only difference being I don't blog it!

Patti said...

"I puked." gahahahahaha...that was great!

Matchbox Mom said...

hahahha!!! That's too funny! Way to go Tukey! I'm sad that he's pukey, but if he's feeling better, that's good. It's so sad when they grow up. I just wrote about growing pains today in my blog! I almost cried reading about the tooth fairy today! ha! Man, I need a zoloft.

Ello - Ellen Oh said...

I loved this story and then Tukey is so cute! I love his "The End" and then his "Bye Bye!" He's like, enough with the video camera already!

I'm off to read your next chapter!

Crazymamaof6 said...

hilarious! tooth story , you are a better mom than me to dig that sucker outta the trash! and I love the video to go with it! huge bummer you didn't get to go to lunch!
thanks for coming by!and commenting! love that!

Mary said...

awww.... his first tooth! I'm ooohing and awwwing too! I would have dove right in that trash too - that's a jewel!

I also have a puker. Her specialty is puking in public. City streets, malls, school, anywhere the mood strikes her. She always feels so much better right after a good puke and then she's ready to eat something nasty and greasy and gooey.

And who's to say this is your last baby tooth experience? You might get a surprise baby when Tukey is 15 yrs old. I have recently learned that this can happen! My surprise is 18 mths old now - she has really cute teeth!

Anonymous said...

That was the funniest and cutiest thing I have ever seen. He is just so adorable and so good verbally. "I puked, bye bye." Perfect ending, that just about sums it all up.
He looks like you!
Hope he is feeling better and the tooth fairy is good to him tonight.
YEAH for you and your garbage digging skills. XOXO

Monnik said...

Tukey is so cute! How adorable. I need to figure out how to post a video to youtube...

Sorry that you missed your lunch date!

Unknown said...

OMG! I finally got to see the video! Tukey is the cutest!