Friday, May 13, 2011

IF YOU WERE HERE by Jen Lancaster - a Haiku CONTEST!

IF YOU WERE HERE by Jen Lancaster

So sorry that Blogger was sucking and down for like four days so here's the post for today ...

And instead of a Five Dollar Fun Fact Friday for you today (not to worry, I’ve got a good one for you next week!), I decided to do something different for you!

Since so many of you found me through the fabulous Jen Lancaster, I wanted to do something a little special for you guys. Many of you know she’s on tour this month for her new NOVEL, If You Were Here, which is OFFICIALLY A New York Times BESTSELLER! YAY JEN! … and she’s coming to Phoenix on Tuesday. More YAYAYAYAY!

Because NO ONE comes to the desert, which I don’t know why, possibly cuz we’re on the EDGE of the FREAKIN’ earth, and it’s a freakin’ OVEN here four months out of the year, it’s really quite beautiful otherwise...

But anyway, I will get to see Jen on Tuesday, and she has PROMISED me she will personally sign a book for one of you. (Oh yes she did – go read it on Twitter.) She’s no longer mad at me for when I did this to her at her MY FAIR LAZY SIGNING, even though if you can tell, she thought I was a total Asshat and was feeling quite stabby toward me after this episode! Hahah

View Video HERE

Anyway, I don’t know if I will get her to write anything more than Dear _____ Congrats, Love Jen, but I thought to make this fun, I want you to write a haiku and I’ll pick the BEST one and THAT ONE will be the one to win.

Or maybe I’ll pick the best five and let JEN pick the one that makes her laugh most. Or maybe I’ll have Jen’s BFFs choose the winner if they have time (because I’m friends with them on FB too). I’ll figure something out, but I thought this would be TOTALLY fun, right?

You all know how a haiku goes?



I have just made some of my old English and Creative Writing teachers very upset with me ...

SOOOOOO, thank you to JENN3128 for pointing out my GLARING faux pas on this one. I am really ashamed! For those of you who already entered, I'll keep yours the way you wrote them, and for anyone new, whichever way you feel most comfortable creating your haiku, go ahead and do it the way you want. (Make them clever though!)
So, this haiku works if you say “inspire” really fast and don’t say it like it’s three syllables, right?

Now, to enter to win a signed copy of Jen’s IF YOU WERE HERE, make up your own haiku for Jen to sign in your book (maybe, if the line's not too long!) PS, you can’t include “Jenny Lancaster” in YOUR haiku cuz I used that already! Sorry!

Include YOUR NAME as you would like her to WRITE IT IN YOUR BOOK if you win. If you don’t include YOUR NAME how you want Jen to sign your book if she were to sign it EXACTLY, then you can’t be entered, no matter how funny or creative your haiku is. And who knows, if I’m feeling really generous, maybe I’ll choose two of you! You’ve got to enter by Tuesday sometime because I’ll be seeing Jen on Tuesday evening! HURRY!


Because you guys have certainly been awesome for coming back here to read my blog all the time!

Check out the amazing and hilarious book trailer for IF YOU WERE HERE HERE! If you ever loved ANY movie by John Hughes, you will laugh your head off!

PeaCe uP!

MaNiC Style!

Seven syllables
Five syllables
Seven syllables

So, here’s my example:

Your words inspire every day
Jenny Lancaster
Oh Funny Chicago Girl


faithspage said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
faithspage said...

Ok Here I go! This is too complicated for me to figure out! So i'll just comment because I like to comment. Pick me Pick me because I like pink and green.

Dear Faith

You rock

Your biggest fan,

Ok so that's a joke
Dear Faith

~Lil Mama~ said...

HAIKU!! Oh My, God Bless you...
Aaacho Aaacho Aaa..
HAIKU!! Oh My, God Bless you.

Steph..the one and only 'lil mama!

Stephanie said...

Oh boy girls, I am already laughing out loud!!! Keep 'em coming, and PrimLilMama, bless you!

Dolly said...

It would be too cool to have a signed copy of 'If You Were Here' inscribed:

To Jane: My Lafayette fan
I'll be wearing plaid
Let's meet at Harry's for drinks!

(But a simple: 'Love ya Jane' will do!)

Melissa said...

I wish you were my best friend
I'm not a stalker
Just a big fan of your words!

Melissa Rem

LizzybethDJ said...

Unemployment imminent
"Bitter": soon to be
Your new novel, I will read

for Elizabeth

Seriously - I'm soon to be without work and could use Jen's new book to occupy my time between resumes and cover letters!

susieqlaw said...

super and duper
so wonderful and dreamy you are
literary star

Homestead Jen said...

Sweetly I'd lie, to save face:
"Your books I have read."
A Lancaster noob am I

Heidi @ Decor & More said...

I'm def not a poet
but for Jen's new read,
I'll make of myself a fool.

I suck. I'm better at the Friday Five. :) LOL!

For Heidi who stinks at haikus


Unknown said...

You bring laughter my way
Storm clouds leave, sun shines
Birds sing,laughter reigns,book wins


Tina Brannan said...

I would love to win this book
Love to read daily
I would be a happy girl


Carly said...

I really love reading books
And yours best amuse.
Can't wait to read your fiction!

Signed to: Carly
You Rock! =)

Jenn3128 said...

My 3rd grader is looking over my shoulder informing me that you are wrong! Haiku should be 5-7-5 (wikipedia agrees w/the 9 year old) here we go:

Oh, the cats and dogs
Eating and sh*tting my food
Pass the Ambien

Just in case we are wrong, here's the method of 7-5-7 as you are doing:

Loves Barbies and Ambien
post the pictures please
Jen Lancaster Chicago's dream

If I win and she'll do it:
To Jenn: Lay an egg!

kwertz12 said...

You are Distinguished
I wanted to get backstage
Husband was embarassed

Lilianarenee said...

Walking through whole foods
Many dishes that may burn
Strange people to see

Karen said...

The polo queen Jen
Hilarity unrestrained
Truly luff her books...:)

If I were to be so lucky to actually win this after the mother of a week I've had...I'd like it to read:

For Karen -
Yes, it's really me...Jen


Melissa said...

Pink and Green Lacoste
makes me think of Jennifer
Really hope I win!


Anonymous said...

Awesomely funny
Snarky sarcastic B-otch
Love reading your books!

~Heather Mazzeo

Anonymous said...

Wish you were here, Jen
I'd uncork some wine for us
The dogs could come too.


Ally said...

Three kids is crazy
I want more than Dr. Seuss
Adult content please!

-A sleep deprived fan
Ally N

jdstec said...

Laughter is the goal
If You Were Here, I am told
Would provide results

To Janet works for me

Logan Collins said...

Tales to make me laugh. Barbie Trainer and Ambien. Crazy Maisy Mom.

To Logan(Who is obsessed with all my books) haha

Carie Casey said...

Memoirs you brought me
Only chick-lit for my eyes
Changed my world you did

I won't tell you how long it took me to think of this. I so hope I'm picked.

Carie (that is how i'd like it to be signed)

betsy_blixt said...

I love to read girly books
They make me smile
Hope to win home girls book yo

Huge fan Jen!

Betsy aka Nearl

Christina said...

I laugh out loud while reading,
Jen's books crack me up.
Can't wait to read another!

Sorry, not very funny but I love Jen's books and reeeeaaaaallllllyyyyyy want to win!!!

Here's how I want it signed if I'm picked:

To Christina -
I promise to come to Des Moines soon!

Anonymous said...

Crazy cat lady
Lover of the madras plaid
Fletch is so lucky

TaraUB in IN

If I'm so lucky to win:

To Tara,

Way to give a kidney!

Your pal,

michelle m said...

love to meet you jen
come to Buffalo pah-lease
Chardonnay we'll drink!

Dear Michelle
wish YOU were here

CAnative said...

Ok, here it goes:

Funniest Writer
Always Makes Me Belly Laugh
Jenny From The Blog

I know - amateurish(BTW i had to break out the dictionary for this), that's why I READ blogs and don't write one!


Unknown said...

okay so I already did mine but re-vamped it for your updated and correct rules ( : I kept it the same gist thought...

Laughter brought my way
Storm clouds leave, sun shines, birds sing
Laughter reigns, book wins


Jonessa said...

Surrounded by kids
Your book the escape I need
Take pity on me

Seriously...I have 4. I don't need calgon.I need Jen's new book and a bottle of wine.

buttah said...

Oh how I heart Jen!
Love all of your craziness
Much laughter you bring!

Please have her sign it:
I love me some Buttah!

Crystal said...

Jen, Queen of the house
Loki, Libby, Maisy, Fletch
House full of madness


To my bff Crystal

Erica said...

Wind whistles between my ears
But love to read Jen
Makes me laugh out loud REALLY LOUD!

Wow -- this is truly awful. But that's why Jen (and YOU) are the writers! I'm just a reader and it shows.

BrendaBMarion said...

Author stalker I am not,
But I did vie for
a Savannah book tour stop.

BrendaBMarion said...

Author stalker I am not,
But I did vie for
a Savannah book tour stop.

To my Savannah fan (and not stalker) Brenda

absolutahnie said...

lake Quanapowitt!**
if you were here we'd toast
never walking it.

it's a lake in wakefield, ma. jen mentioned that she had lived there
once. lots of us who live nearby walk around it (4 miles) for exercise. i don't. here's to that!

Anonymous said...

Total bummer... can't belived I missed this one. :( I had some serious bad Friday the 13th ju-ju.