Friday, August 04, 2006

D-E-P-R-E-S-S-E-D... What's It Spell? ME!

It takes one click of the mouse to put a damper on your whole day.

How many hits can one person take before she decides she's done fighting, doesn't want to get up anymore. Wants to just shoot the puppy in the backyard because it's not doing what you want it to do?

The puppy is the hypothetical puppy, my novel. I'm beginning to wonder if I should take it to the humane society, return it, get a better one, start with a fresh idea. You can't teach an old dog new tricks. What about a dead dog. I don't want my novel to be dead. I don't want to put it in the yard and shoot it. I don't believe it's dead yet. Maybe it's just not time for it to be jumping and licking my face. Maybe it needs to just go in the backyard and sleep awhile. Maybe I'll start thinking about that second puppy.

But I'm not ready for another puppy yet. I love my first one too much still. I still have faith in my first pup, that it'll grow up to be a big, strong doggy, on the shelves of bookstores. For now though, I think she's gonna hang out in the backyard for a little while, see what happens.

I'm tired of basing so much of my mood on responses from people who don't even know me, who don't know the passion I have for what I have written. I have been beat up, kicked around, accepting the rejections graciously:

Thank you so much for your courteous reply.

Thanks for getting back to me so quickly. I know being an agent is tough work and you're a very busy person.

Thanks for the kind words of encouragement, and yes, I'm sure I'll find a lovely home for my novel someday.

Blah Blah Blah.

Piss on it all. I'm in serious need of a night out and two or three green-apple martinis with a thin slice of Granny Smith as a garnish.


Drewpy Drew said...

I am so sorry. :( And to think, I was feeling a little down because I haven't heard anything about my submissions. What the hell do they know, anyway. Screw em and go have a drink.

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Not that I'm glad to know I'm not alone, but it does make me feel a little less bummed out, but then this doesn't make sense because I don't want you to be feeling badly too!

This makes no sense at all. I'm going to take one of my 'depression naps' now.

Anonymous said...

Give your puppy a time-out for a while and then maybe it will behave better.

In the meantime get out your martini shaker...

And for gods sake throw out that scale...your beautiful the way you are!!

domestic_valerie said...

I wish I lived closer...I'd buy you an apple-tini. :)

xxxx said...

I'm SO buying you that martini!

Just think, maybe by then it will be a CELEBRATORY martini!

Martini said...

Everyone keeps saying martini......

Anonymous said...

No Old Yeller moments allowed with your puppy. Someone once told me that you just have to keep trying until you find the person who loves your baby as much as you do. Not that this pithy advice made me feel any better at the time.The next round of martinis is on me.

stephhale said...

I had so many days like this. I know you don't want to hear this but you have to keep moving forward. Keep the new ideas flowing and write them! I know it's hard, I felt like giving up everytime I shelved something. I thought my first book was good. I thought my second book was great. I KNEW my third book was IT! Writing new stories will only make you better! Keep your chin up and start saving your pennies for Dallas next year!

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

OMG, do you all seriously know how much I love you all?

Thank you!

Dim said...

I had a discussion about this with someone the other day, basically because I was lamenting the fact that I ran into some tough poetry critics and some rejection letters from music magazines that totally made me stop writing anything for a long time. I couldn't understand how they could tell me that something that felt enough to put into words sucked. I still don't understand that. If you wrote it and you believe in it, no matter what other people tell you, it means something. It IS important.

Have you thought of self-publishing it? If I ever get my crap together, that's probably what I am going to do. You should check out if you haven't already.

Don't give up! Get that puppy out there. Pretty sure we'll all buy it!

- D.

Randy said...

Hugs on the detour, MM...but that's all it is: another detour. You'll find the right route, if not with this book, then another. I know it's hard to "give up" on your firstborn, but sometimes you have to. Or at least put it aside while you write the second.

On the other hand, have you tried submitting directly to publishers who don't require an agent? Some people say it's easier to sell to editors than agents. It can take forever (I should know--I've been waiting a year to hear back from one, but I saw the editor in Atlanta and she says my ms. is being discussed right now--eek!) but one lesson I've learned is, forget the prohibitions against simultaneous submissions. Send a query and 3 chapters (or whatever they say they prefer) to ALL the houses you can that are looking for books in your genre who don't require agents. St. Martin's for one. I submitted my first ms. to them (3 chapters) and they got back to me within 3 months (a rejection, yeah...but at least they looked at it). Dorchester takes a query first. There are others.

Then there are the epubs where I just sold my 2nd ms when it didn't seem to be faring well in the query stage.

Anyway...bottom line (sorry, I'm rambling!) don't give up! There WILL be a home for your book.

cubmommy said...

Hey don't worry On The Road and Catcher in the Rye were rejected numerous times. You are going to make it. Have faith!

Anytime you want to get a drink I am up for it. Seriously!

Anonymous said...


I'll never tell said...

I noticed not once did you use the word CAN'T. Because can't means won't, but you CAN and you WILL! We have faith in you, we got your back.

Anonymous said...

Manic Mom-

Dont give up if you truly beleive this is your true calling. I recently finished grad school which I did in an attempt to differentiate myself from others in the working world. Yet I am still being rejected more times than a kidney and liver transplant. However I persevere and dont take no for an answer. Things happen for a reason and its just a matter of finding the right fit and persons hands for your book to get into.

Have you tried networking and talking to other authors (ie Karyn), and see if they can help at all?

Good luck!

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Hey all! Thanks again for the words of encouragement. I got a request for a partial today, but yesterday was a rejection for the full so that's why I was so bummed. I did go out and have that martini though (okay, two of 'em, and then some wine, and then... never mind, but feeling better now).

Dim--I ghost-wrote a book for someone and went through booklocker to have it self-pubbed. It was a great deal, but I don't know if I wanna go that route yet. Maybe though, who knows?

Randi--great advice! Thank you!

Cub--We will have to go for that drink soon!

Chiara--NO, you are my hero! ANd I won't tell Daddy!

Lori--thanks for bringing that to my attention. That is really cool that you noticed that!

NYC Anon--I have been networking, and actually, Karyn's agent is reading a partial, and I'm so grateful to all the pubbed authors I do know, some of who have left comments on this post. They all offer support and suggestions, and I've found many authors love putting other authors in touch with agents they know. It's all good!

So, now I'm going back for a nap since I drank too much last night!


Andie said...

I'm late to help out... but I can say that if you perservere it will happen! Just keep trying! :)

I admire you because you've done it. You've worked on a book and submitted it. I haven't even taken that step yet!

Stinkerqueue said...

This is the first blog I've actually wanted to read through in a long time. This entry particularly hit home, because I have a death grip on most of my writing. Actually, all of it. And I'm struggling right now with whether to put a particular piece of writing to bed. As a new writer, it's comforting just to see that other writer's are dealing with this as well.

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Honeymoon, I doubt you are a 'new' writer, maybe you're just discovering your passion and ready to let it out there.

I enjoyed reading your blog; I read through quite a few of the posts. You have a nice voice/way of writing.