Monday, March 05, 2007

I Am Disgusted

While we were at the dentist today, and Diva was getting sealants on her molars, I hear Ajers telling something to Tukey.

"Poop... toilet... toothbrush...sister and her friend..."


I get Ajers to tell me what happened. Apparently, Diva and her friend thought it would be fun to wipe Tukey's toothbrush over some poop that friend had deposited into the toilet and then put the toothbrush back in its place.

I am freaking out appalled over this and don't know what to do, what reaction to have, what repurcussions to instill as a punishment. I seriously am shocked that they would do something this stupid, this cruel, this mean to her little brother. She's not a mean kid. And that is the meanest thing I've ever heard a kid doing deliberately to a sibling.

As soon as Ajers told Tukey what had been done to his toothbrush, he got upset. I immediately told Ajers to quit making stuff up and he insisted his sister told him that's what they did.

I didn't believe it. How could they? I told the boys to quit discussing it and that I would find out when Diva got out of the dentist.

She came out, I told the boys to wait and I took her aside.

"What happened with Tukey's toothbrush?"

The look on her face, well, it was completely obvious that she knew she had done something terribly wrong, and she knew she had to tell me the truth because I have always told them "The truth will set you free."

They really did it.

I can't believe it. I am so disgusted right now; I feel like crying; I feel literally sick to my stomach.

She cried, "I wish I could start my whole life over!" And is all apologetic, asking if she can call her friend over so they can discuss it. I'm torn. Do I call the mom? I love the kid; she is like a second daughter to us. We adore her. Do I just talk to her myself, and not tell the parents, cuz I love her parents too. I know she will be feeling remorseful. They should both be feeling terrible for this. How to punish Diva? Make her brush her teeth with a dirty toothbrush? Pull a Mommy Dearest on her? Ground her? Tell her father, which I will, but I think she is terrified of him. She said, "Don't tell Daddy, he'll kill me."

She completely knows it was wrong. I just need to know how to handle it. Because I have to handle this, don't I? I can't let her get away with it. This is unacceptable, and I am mortified.

UPDATE: So, Hubby gets home, I make Diva come upstairs with us and we explain what happened, decide on a punishment to fit the crime, and no, we are not making her brush her teeth with poo, and then she goes into her room to cry. Hubby and I sit quietly, discussing how we're both pretty much mortified that our darling kind sweet and loving daughter would pull such crap (pun intended!) and then he goes into the bathroom.

A couple minutes later, he comes out, and he's brushing his teeth and all I can think of is that from now on, every time we brush our teeth we will remember that our daughter put poo on our son's toothbrush, deliberately and cruelly.

Hubby, still brushing his teeth, looks at me thoughtfully, and in the only words that would completely absolve our daughter, he confesses:

"I did that in college once."


xxxx said...

OK, you already know I'm sort of at a loss for this one. But you TOTALLY have to do something, because ... you just do. I definitely think that since you know the friend well, you should talk to her and at least let her know that YOU know, which will scare her on its own. And maybe make her and Diva do something together really nice for Tukey before she can come over and play again. (Like maybe earn money doing some really crappy, crappy chore and take him out for ice cream or something.)

That sucks.

xxxx said...

I just read the update ... HA HA HA HA.

Jenster said...

Ack! I don't even know what to say. But it sounds like you guys are handling the situation well. It also sounds like it's probably genetic. :o)

If there's one thing I've learned in this parenting journey is that no matter how good our kids are, no matter how sweet their hearts, they're going to do something that totally blindsides us. I think it's way better they do it when they're small so the "event" isn't as damaging. Know what I mean??

Anonymous said...

So what was the punnishment. Maybe its a sign that something is wrong or she needs a little diva one on one time. Kids sometimes do things to get attention that are way out there. Not that I am Dr. Phile or anything. We were all kids once.

EE said...

Oh, the joys of parenting...sounds like something I would have done as a kid:0 (Did I just admit to that????)
I'd be hiding my toothbrush if i were you! LOL

Slackermommy said...

I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree? Joking aside, I hate when my kids do shit like this. It makes me feel like there is something wrong with them or that I'm not doing a good job but really they are just being kids. I'm sure they just thought it was funny and did it without thinking. My oldest took a shit in the backyard and her sis told on her. She just dropped her pants and shit in front of a bunch of neighbor kids like a damn dog. And she was 6 not 2. Do you feel better now?

KIM :-) said...

OK, a) I agree with Swishy...she must repent! HAHA; b)I think I peed my pants when I read the past line! BAHAHAHA; and c)slackermommy......OMG!!! I have 2 boys and am terrified what they will be doing as they get older (and crazier) and your DAUGHTER did that?!?! Part of me wants to laugh, though, just a little. ~this is me ducking as to not get hit with whatever slackermommy just threw at me~ :-)

xxxx said...

I'm sorry, but I am totally laughing at slackermommy's comment too. HA! My little brother climbed a tree once and peed to watch how far it would go. He also used to pee all the time at the spiderwebs in the corner of MY bathroom in the basement, but that's another story.

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

OMG, you all have me CRACKING up with these stories! I remember being at the playground once when the kids were little and some OTHER kid was at the top hanging out his whoo-hoo pissing all over the yard!

Tell me more poopy stories so I don't feel as bad!! They're funny! I've got some 'adult' ones that I don't think I can share though!

Stacy said...

Omigod. Did Tukey actually use his toothbrush after this happened or did Ajers tell him on time? Poor kid. He'll never want to brush his teeth again.

Stephanie J. Blake said...


When I was in college, I had a horrible roommate. She wrote her name on HER items in the fridge, she installed a lock on her door, she also put out her cigarettes in glasses all over the sink. She fell asleep once with a lit cigarette and lit the drapes on fire. So, my boyfriend put some of his....well, er, c-u-m in her gallon of milk...and she drank it.

I have a poop smearer 2 year old. He had done it more than once.

I hate poo.

Monnik said...

Manic, this story made me giggle - I'm sorry! It's something that my own kids would do. :)

Once, when I was a youngster (4 years old), I told my brother (who was 2 at the time) to eat dog poo or I was going to tell mom. He did it, poor thing. I have no idea why I did that - probably to test how much power I had as the older sibling... I feel really bad about it now, but what can you do? My brother doesn't even remember it.

Diva's a good kid, from what I've read here. (love your blog, by the way) And your husband's confession cracked me up.

Stephanie J. Blake said...

While I was writing this, my 2 yo and 4 yo old snuck out to the backyard in nothing, but snow boots! Naked and in the snow. Nice mom, huh! Wonder if the neighbors saw them? I'll bet at least one of them peed on something.

Anonymous said...

To start, I would make Diva buy Tukey a new toothbrush with HER OWN MONEY

Frannie Farmer said...

I was going to say what the last Anon said - make her buy Tukey a new toothbrush - me being me though (huge gag relex) I would have to replace them ALL.
Poopy stories - boy do I have plenty. AngelBaby has pooh issues .. girl loves to paint with pooh, I wrote an entire post about her pooh-art last year.
But besides her; last year we had a bunch of girls over (From CHURCH) and one of the girls, whose mother is known for her STERN mothering skills and disciplined children, took a big pooh right in the middle of my back yard!!!! (she was 5) In front of all the girls! I was astonished. We are no strangers to the neighbor boys whiping it out to take a wee, but pooping in someone elses yard - at a church function - Yikes.
And no, I didn't tell the superior mom. I just couldn't come up with the words. I am thankful that LittleMiss didn't say anything.
Need more? Got plenty ... but I will need a barf bag :O)
Sounds like you and the Mr. are doing the right thing!

Kim Rossi Stagliano said...

I made my brother drink pickle juice as a kid. Manic, you have three typical, healthy kids who can talk to you. Count your blessings. Kids do dumb stuff. Count your blessings. Should I say it again? :)


Angel said...

so she's just like her dad! He's probably a little proud..;)

that sounds like something my boys would do to each other.

Anonymous said...

Granted it wasn't my toothbrush- but I find this hysterical.

Anonymous said...

You did good! And I hate Anonymous, who's making it all your fault--if you spent more time with her, she wouldn't do these things. Bullshit! Kids need these big things to happpen and to get the big punishment. It's what we remember from when we were kids, right?

They do stupid things. I can totally see my son thinking that was funny.

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

KJ, I really don't think Anon was being judgmental and placing blame on me.

I think it was a little prank that was pretty gross between two friends. Still yucky.

Unknown said...

I bet you're glad now that he hadn't brushed his teeth when he "complimented" you on your hair cut.

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Mari--wrong kid! : )

Anonymous said...

KJ I hate you back (just kidding):

Like manic mom said, I wasnt inferring it was her who wasnt paying attention to her daughter. Maybe it was at school or she was excluded from something. I would never tell a parent they were doing something wrong. Thats not my place. I was just saying that sometimes kids act out if something happened and they want to bring attention to them selves, and dont know other ways to do it or to ask for help.

End of rant.

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

HEY! Doesn't anyone think it was the OTHER kid's fault!?!?!? After all, it was HER feces, not MY daughter's!!! Can't we blame HER!?!


BamaGirl said...

I do remember doing some of the worst things under the influence of friends, so maybe you can blame the friend.
Being a scientist, I think I would make my daughter research fecal contamination and all the diseases that are passed through feces. Then, I'm sure she would feel bad for her brother and not mess with feces again.
Ok, here's a poop story. I taught middle school last year at an affluent school. The janitor kept finding that one of the boys was pooping and putting it in the soap dispensers--every day! Talk about gross!

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Bama--you might win for THAT one! Too bad I didn't create a "Share-Your-Poop-Story" contest... hmmm... maybe that'll be the next one! LOL

Kari Lee Townsend said...

Ew, ew, ewwwww!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, totally gross, but you did a fantastic job of handling that. And yes, kids will be kids. They don't think about the consequences, they just act on impulses. That's why they're kids.

My only poop story was when my duaghter was one. She was toddling around in her diaper and had just learned to rip it off. Well, she ripped it off one day and she had pooped.

The good thing was, she was constipated so it wasn't smeared all over. It was a bunch of hard little balls. The bad thing was she had just eaten coco puffs for breakfast and loved them. Well, can you guess what's coming?????

Yup, she ate a poop puff before I got to her. Talk about gross. The frown on her face and the loud cry said it all. She never ate coco puffs again after that.

Stephanie J. Blake said...

Falling on the floor with that last one. It made me remember the time my 2 yo was following the 4 year old upstairs and little turds were falling out of the 4 yo pants and the 2 yo was popping in his mouth like gumdrops.


I will never look at Cocoa Pops the same.

Monnik said...

Ew, Kari! That is so, so, so funny, though!

The church I went to as a kid was set up kind of like a stadium (with the altar down front and the pews rising in front of it), but with sloped floors instead of tiered levels. My mom likes to tell a story about how my baby brother had those same hard little nuggets in his diaper, and one day, one came out and rolled down the slope in church to the front of the aisle where it was later stomped on when people went up for communion.

Other peoples' poo stories are fun to read.

Anonymous said...

So did you ever call the other girls parents. I wonder if your daughter ripped into the other gril at school for what happened. Or has the manic house hold moved onto bigger and better.

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Bigger and better, anon. However, I continue to 'slyly' reprimand Diva with comments to make her remember what she did was
U N A C C E P T A B L E !