Monday, November 12, 2007


OK, so, am I the only person in the entire world who goes on a medication proven to cause weight loss in OBESE people, yet find that I’ve gained weight while on the drug?

What, may I ask, is up with that shit?!

Phentermine. Well, it didn’t work. I think if it came with a roll of duct tape along with the pills it would have done a better job at keeping me from eating. Why do I have such a hard time? I exercise. And I think I exercise A LOT! Well, a fair amount anyway. Three to five days a week. Nothing. I got nothing.

And here’s the scary thing. Mr. Manic joined the health club. MY health club. So now he’s all going around telling everyone, “Oh, it’s great! It’s got something for everyone! A perfect gym. And let me tell you, the gauntlet, yep, that’s MY thing.”

OK, he’s done the gauntlet a total of THREE TIMES, and suddenly it’s his thing? This is what I mean: A guy gets a little warning that his blood pressure is high and suddenly he’s Arnold Pump-Me-Up Schwarzenegger

and here I am, feeling like Roseanne Barr, trying to bust my ass with exercise, and pills, and Weight Watchers, and whatever else I can concoct and he’s probably going to lose 15 pounds by the time he wakes up tomorrow morning.

How unfair is that?

I’m just feeling really, really uncomfortable in my body these days. Like it doesn’t belong to me. It’s not mine. I don’t want it to be mine. I want the body back I had when Tukey was one year old because that, well, THAT was A BODY! I had it. I worked on it. I got it. I lost it.

And ‘tis the season for copious (dontcha love that word?) amounts of food—cookies, and turkey (I could give a rat’s ass about the turkey, but the mashed ‘tatoes, gravy, corn mush -- remind me to give you THAT recipe – jiffy corn mix with creamed corn and regular corn, cheddar, sour cream, butter… need I say more?)…

OK, I just discovered my problem.

I Heart Food.

That’s all there is to it.

But back to this Phentermine stuff. Like OK?!?!? A drug specifically designed to make FAT people less fat. What does it do for me? Makes me GAIN WEIGHT. There is someone up there playing a really cruel joke on me.

And now I’m going on this daily migraine medicine. I just can’t wait. It’s guaranteed to have my head throbbing, me writhing in pain for shiggity sure. Because that’s just the way medicines work for me, apparently!

I should have my thyroid checked again. I betcha the Synthroid I’ve been on for almost two years is doing nothing for me! That’s another one of those jokey things—“Oh yes, Synthroid can actually regulate your weight; you may LOSE weight on Synthroid!”

Who’s the bastard messing with my metabolism and why can’t he go fool with someone else?

Not fair!
Not fair!
Not fair!

The only way I'll actually feel better is if I wake up with my period tomorrow.

See, the ranting is back.


kay said...

i know. not fair!!

you work out. you eat not like a pig and still. your little sister is the size of a pencil. with yellow curly hair.

i want my pre baby body back. bet it never happens. :(

Cecily R said...

Sorry Manic. Wish I had some great thought for you here, but I don't.

I'm right there with you.

Anonymous said...

well my mum says stress makes you it must be true...not the cake you stuff because you're stressed, just the stress

pass the banoffee pie

xxxx said...

You silly girl. You are GORGEOUS! With the hottest legs in America!

Drewpy Drew said...

OK, here's the straight dope. A big (no pun intended) reason for weight gain is the fact that your body changes and you don't alter your habits. When I turned 30, I gained 30 pounds. Proof the God has a sense of irony.

I had changed but kept on snacking away like I was 17. It was like 'The Santa Clause'. I woke up one morning and pow, somebody put a fat guy in my mirror.

After several years of being the fat guy, I decided to change. When I feel like snacking, I do something else. I write, I blog, I go for a walk. Three meals a day is great if you're a farm hand, but I sit around all day. As long as I give my body what it needs (not wants), it's all good.

I know this sounds unsympathetic. Like I'm saying 'All you have to do is this and you'll lose 100 in ten minutes'.

I know it's not easy. And every time you gain some back it feels so useless. But I know that you can do this, Manic. You are an *ss kicking woman who doesn't take no crap off of nobody! Don't worry about what other people think, look like, or do. Just go out there and kick this thing in the teeth!

Wow, I didn't mean to go on like that. I'm not trying to be like one of those sanctimonious former smokers riding my high horse. I've been there and it sucks. But it can be done.

Prayers and peace.

Michelle Kemper Brownlow said...

So my heart is with ya!!

I have gained and lost over and over since I was 12...


Have you tried Alli? It works GREAT for me!

Melisa Wells said...

I'm with ya, sista!

Kate said...

Try what I'm on. No soy. Soy is in freaking everything including most chocolate candy. No convenience foods. It sucks. If I don't lose a few pounds I will give up. A whole 24 hours and I'm about to crawl up the walls. I. Need. Chocolate!

Sorry, honey! You know you're lovely.

Kate said...

P.S. Just so you know, there's no soy in Hershey's Special Dark syrup. I was tempted to pour it on my entire dinner. So, see, I am very very sad.

Shelley said...

Should men be allowed to leave comments on this post? I don't think so. It reminds me of that commercial for that one drug for "the way women lose weight." I forget the name of it, but the stick lady is all "My husband quit drinking soda and he lost 12 lbs! I quit drinking soda and I lost 1 lb. He started eating subs and lost 19 lbs. I haven't had bread in two years! Then he started jogging and lost another 20 lbs. So what, ya wanna weigh zero?? Stop it!" Or something. I may be paraphrasing, but the commerical makes me laugh. Men don't seem to grasp that we have this hormone called ESTROGEN, that makes our baby-bearing bodies just want to hang onto that weight. So please don't listen to that "when I feel like snacking, I just go for a walk" bullshit. Because it's bullshit.

Ok, I had to's called SlimQuick, here's the YouTube link to the commerical

That Phentermine stuff...wasn't it PhenFen? There's another drug that people took with it that started with Fen, or something. And I seem to remember they took it off the market (the combo of them) because some people had heart valve problems. Anyway, I feel your pain. Well, not really because I didn't have a pre-baby body. I actually weigh less now than I did when I got married, but don't get too jealous because I was fat then and I'm still fat now. Just slightly less fat. I've seen your picture, you look fab to me, girl.

As for the Alli, the words "oily discharge" on the box were enough to stop me from trying that one. But hell, don't listen to me...I had brownies for breakfast. :)

I think I'm ranting here, just a little.

Drewpy Drew said...

Wow. OK Shelley, you're right. I did sound like a self righteous, pig nosed, SOB back there. That is so not how I wanted to come off.

I am sorry to all and any that I have offended.

I wanted to affirm Manic and tell how great she is. I ended up giving an unfeeling sermon.

If you want to yell at me, come on over to my blog and rip me a new one. I don't want to waste any one's time here any more than I already have.

Again, I am sorry.

(Note to self: Reread your stuff before posting.)

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

OMG, Drew, are you kidding? I was laughing my ass off. OK, not really, cuz then I woulda found a great weight-loss program! But I took no offense. ANd i Cracked up at SHelley's brownie comment cuz I read her blog earlier today and when she wrote that, I was like, "YES! she did have brownies for breakfast!"

It's all good. I ate a mini snickers. Milk duds. and something else but can't remember what it was... how bad is THAT?!?!?

Amanda--what the hell is a banoffee pie--a mix between banana and coffee?

Swish, you know you are the BEST!

Semblance--I have seen the Alli ads

Shelley said...

Awww Drew...I'm sorry, I was just trying to make Manic laugh. I did it at your expense, bad me. No more man-bashing, I swear. Not tonight, anyway. ;)

KATE said...

Okay sweetie, I so hear ya! The Phentermine worked for me the first month & I plateued right after.
I'm still over 40 lbs overweight! It licks (& not in a good way)
I would love to have some answer for ya, but unfortunately I don't.

I'm the same, I so miss my body! It's not fair, not at all!!!

Rant away sweetie, most of us can totally relate!!

Love ya tons & sorry you're upset about your bod. I'd kill to look like you, BTW!

Take Care - Kate

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Kate--how much did you lose the first month? I'm seriously thinking the ONLY way is back to WW, and I rocked on it, but I need to make sure my head's in the right place to go back. And it's holiday eatin' time!!!

I am Heather...creator of all things crafty! said...

Girl, you're too hard on yourself. Take it all in stride. We're all "fluffy" not fat....We all take med's to survive. We're all busier than a one-legged ass kicker and we all take "med's" to survive. Some drink em' some pop em'.....All this to say, we're all rowing the same boat...why not share the oars....

I am Heather...creator of all things crafty! said...

Did ya'll realize that stressed spelled backwards is DESSERTS!

I am Heather...creator of all things crafty! said...

Just realized I said we all take "med's" twice....oh no, I'm starting to feel anxiety about my repetition...wait oh no, I think I forgot to take my anti-anxiety med's today....gotta run Dr. "Patron" is calling me.

I am Heather...creator of all things crafty! said...

Just realized I said we all take "med's" twice....oh no, I'm starting to feel anxiety about my repetition...wait oh no, I think I forgot to take my anti-anxiety med's today....gotta run Dr. "Patron" is calling me.

KATE said...

Manic - I lost 15. Now, you have to understand, I'm 6'1". So 15 lbs is a lot different when you're as big as me!!
I also think it was because I was working out & doing South Beach (for the most part)
But when I plateued I couldn't keep it up. Now I've put 1/2 of that back on & have over 40 to go!! Sucks!!
WW didn't do a whole lot for me. I think (a trainer told me this) that I have metabolism issues (no shit, right?) Anyhow, I have to do kind of the Body For Life program cuz I need a bunch of tiny meals thruout the day to keep my metabolism going.
I have yet to see it work. I'll keep ya posted. Hang in there! I honestly know how frustrating it is!! I'm sorry!!

KATE said...

I was going to ask what daily migrain meds they put you on? I was put on Topamax & my doc said it could help with appetite control too!

Barrie said...

If WW did the trick for you before, i'd go back to it. Sure, it'll be tough losing weight during the holiday season. Maybe you won't lose too much, but you won't gain either.

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

It is topamax which sounds a lot like tampax doesn't it?

Heather, you had some good stuff to say, so much so, some of it repeated !! LOL!

A friend was just telling me last night how another friend of hers is eating like every two hours and losing weight. Why can't someone just pack me ziploc baggies of the stuff I need to eat, and tell me the times I need to eat those things... THEN I'd lose weight!

Or, that roll of duct tape would work.

blog author said...

unfortunately, i think the way women think about their bodies has a whole lot more to do with the media than with our actual size. now, manic, i haven't seen a full length pic of you, but from your manic minute with manic pic the other day, i'd say you look perfectly normal. healthy, beautiful, glowing, smart and fun.

unfortunately, that's not what is shown on the cover of maxim. or playboy. or even People. If you're not the most beautiful, unblemished, perfectly coiffed, heaving-breasted woman, then you're unworthy. it's disgusting.

and like kay said, yes, i'm pencil sized (well, not really, but i'm thin and tall) and i'm still effected. i hit the gym 3x a week, eat great, lots of water, do land drills with the girls on saturday, am blessed with a high metabolism, and i STILL look in the mirror and think, damn, i need to lose weight.

i'm telling ya, the thing that has helped me most is an interview i read on Jenny McCarthy after her playboy spread (no pun intended). she said that she had cellulite, pimples on her ass, and was not the least bit attractive from the neck down. but with all the airbrushing they did, she looked gorgeous (my ex got playboy, that's how i know this....and maybe that's one reason he's now my ex). But, it helped me to understand that damn, she had cellulite in that shot? well, maybe i dont feel so bad then.

ok, i'm on a huge soapbox here, but its just so frustrating to know that there are wonderful, smart, funny, awesome women out there who get down on themselves bc of extra weight, and the media constantly bombards women with that message over and over again.

i think you're awesome Manic. good luck in your quest.

Anonymous said...

How gullible (?) are you? (sorry, can't spell!) The only way you are going to lose an maintain a healthy weight is to expend more calories than you consume. That's it. no drugs, no special combo diets, nothing special, just get off your bum and take your hand away from your mouth. simple.

Wow, that sounds like a rant - new hair cut, cold head!! (We have already had snow)

Not sure I should tell you this but banoffee pie is a pastry case filled with slices of banana topped with boiled condensed milk and topped with whipped cream. You have to boil the can of milk for an hour and DO NOT LET IT GET UNCOVERED, MAKE SURE IT HAS COOLED BEFORE YOU OPEN IT. contains a gazillion calories per slice so get your marathon shoes on...

Patti said...

man, that sucks...and not in a good way. wishing you luck in the search.

Anonymous said...

I think you are fabulous!

But I know what you are feeling. I'm having the same problem. Mine is that I love food too much and DON'T work out. And I can't figure out why I don't have the willpower I once had.

Hang in there! And when you find the magic cure, let me know!

Anonymous said...

I think you are fabulous!

But I know what you are feeling. I'm having the same problem. Mine is that I love food too much and DON'T work out. And I can't figure out why I don't have the willpower I once had.

Hang in there! And when you find the magic cure, let me know!

KATE said...

Wow, anyhow. My husband (who is of course a man and loses weight if he "thinks" he wants to) said to look up Body For Life on the internet & it will give you good ideas for the small protein enriched meals. I'm not very good at it, so I can't help.
Sorry I'm not much help.
Topamax does sound like tampax! Let me know how it works for ya!!

NerdyRedneck Rob said...

Manic - In my opinion Melek has nailed it! I want you to go back and re-read my interview. You gals are too hard on yourselves.

For the more practical side and my some of own favorite little rants, one size does not fit all! We humans have very different body chemistries. What works for some people will not work for all. Some of us are insulin resistant some of us are not. If you are insulin resistant a "normal" low cal diet will blow you right up!

Rant number 2. Calories are a unit of measure for heat. I wont bore everyone with the history of calories as a unit of measure but it I will abbreviate it to say has NOTHING to do with how the human body metabolizes food.

Carbohydrates are a unit of measure that do actually reflect how the human body processes food.

I am insulin resistant. I can eat 5,000 low carb calories a day and lose weight or I can eat 1000 high carb calories a day and gain weight. Calories are simply a flawed unit of measure for food. Calories are irrelevant and a stubborn hold over from a medically more ignorant time. It's the equivalent of telling some one what time it is by saying "six bells". What?

I highly recommend the ground breaking work called "The Carbohydrate Addict Diet" ( -> by Richard F. Heller and Rachael F. Heller. The first thing about this book that is unlike any diet book you will ever read is that it has a written test in it. If you don't score high on it you are not insulin resistant and they tell you right off the bat this diet WILL NOT WORK FOR YOU. Ever seen a diet book do that before? If you do score high on the test then it will work for you and you will be amazed.

As I said this was book was ground breaking but not the dfinitive word. This is the best work I know of though for the layman to understand the metabolic processes at work for people with insulin resistance.

With all that said, Manic, you rook mah-vel-us dahling!

Jenster said...

copious is a fabulous word and I use it often.

I feel your pain. Seriously. I'm pretty much in the same boat. And it ain't the Love Boat, know what I'm sayin'?

Just remember this - you're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggone it, people like you.

Drewpy Drew said...

It looks like the only time I open my mouth is to change feet.

You guys are too nice.

Peace out.

Unknown said...

I was going to mention the commercial Shelley mentioned, and that was BEFORE Drew responded. I cracked up at Drew's "...somebody put a fat guy in my mirror" comment. :)

Sadly, I know Amanda's right about the whole expend-more-than-you-eat thing, but it's hard to maintain that willpower sometimes. And I HATE (strong word, I know) it when someone tells me that, because while it sounds so simple, it's really not. It's not easy to change your eating habits and "expending" habits overnight. Even doing it slowly is difficult because it requires commitment.

I did read an article (that means it MUST be true) a few weeks ago that talked about people who looked at EVERY activity as burning calories lost more weight than those who only counted exercise. The article stated that it had to do with attitude and being mentally aware of burning calories. By being aware that one is constantly burning calories makes it easier to do more higher-calorie-burning activities.

Just a thought.

Eileen said...

Pfft. You look great. Why be miserable? You eat well you excercise. You're fab. I like you just the way you are.

I am Heather...creator of all things crafty! said...

I agree with Jenster's "Stuart Smalley" wisdom/anecdotes....

kim said...

I'm in no position to start the holidays either. I'm in my fat pants now (which I almost got rid of a mere 5 months ago, because they were just too big and I was sure I would not be needing them again).

Ashton and John's mom said...

I'm sorry the phentermine didn't do the same for you that it did for me!

Maintaining Mindfulness said...

manic, i've never posted before, but i really think you should check out Intuitive Eating. It really helped me to feel good about my body and my relationship with food.

ps- i don't have kids yet, but i love reading about your adventures and cannot wait to have a brood of my own! you're awesome. also, i read your book excerpt and i would totally sit down and read the whole thing. it was fab.

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

TC--thank you! If you come back to read these comments, email me at i can share more of 40 with you.