MaNiC MoMMy'S ViRTuaL BLoG FoR BLooD DRiVE

Save LIVES - Win a TRIP TO FLORIDA!


Welcome to 2009 everyone, and yes, this is how I want to start off the New Year, with another Virtual Blog for Blood Drive, and this year, like last year, I am asking you to donate blood anytime during January 1, 2009 through February 28, 2009 to enter to win amazing prizes.

I donated my pint yesterday at my favorite Heartland Blood Center!

Here are the details and a quick explanation of what happened last year for those of you new to the scene:

In January 2008, on a whim, blogger Manic Mommy took her three kids and three of their friends with her while she donated blood. Since it was such a cinch with six kids in tow, she wanted to see if she could get others to donate and she spearheaded what she believes to be the first ever virtual blood drive. She convinced 35 blog readers (some of whom had never donated blood in their lives) to donate blood. In all, approximately 100 lives were saved through their combined efforts, and gift cards and various other gifts were awarded to winners. An anonymous blogger even matched the prize money to buy gift cards, and people whom had never donated blood now donate regularly every eight weeks.

This year, Manic Mommy’s Virtual Blood Drive will run from January 1 through February 28, 2009. And it gets even better for those donating in 2009. Aside from additional other fun prizes which will be announced throughout the contest, one grand prize RANDOM winner will receive luxury accommodations for six days, five nights at Sandestin Golf & Beach Resort* (www.sandestin.com). To enter, simply go to your local blood bank and donate blood between January 1 - February 28, 2009. Have your photo taken IN THE CHAIR while you are donating blood and send your photo to manicmommy@comcast.net. Include your name, city, state and email address, and what inspired you to donate. Photos/inspirational stories will be posted every Sunday during the contest.

Additional IMPORTANT information:

Do not let the blood bank tell you that you can't have your photo taken because you are allowed to. You may not be allowed to have a photo taken of them inserting the needle, but there are no laws prohibiting photo taking while donating blood. Best way to show proof is by you being in the chair with the needle in your arm, obviously, but if they give you a hard time, a photo in the donation center, with your BE NICE TO ME, I GAVE BLOOD sticker, and other ways to show proof will be accepted. Use your good judgment!

Blood relatives and my immediate friends are NOT eligible to win the grand prize trip to Florida, however they are eligible to win the other prizes awarded.

If you donate twice during the contest (this means you have to donate like TOMORROW to be able to donate again in the timeframe), then your name will be entered twice into the contest.

If you cannot donate blood for some reason but would like to donate a monetary gift toward contest prizes, please email me at manicmommy@comcast.net.
I would be forever grateful, and any small amount is very much appreciated! Most likely these donations will go toward a second-prize or third-prize Visa or MasterCard gift card, much like what was done last year. Or, if you work for a company and think you may have a prize that might inspire others to donate, please feel free to let me know! It's all for an excellent cause - LIVES!

Like last year, for everyone who donates blood, I will put forth my own money toward the second place prize, which will be anywhere between one to three dollars per person who donates (at my descretion as the contest progresses).

More information will follow about the incredible GRAND PRIZE TRIP to Sandestin's premier getaway resort spot: Sandestin Golf & Beach Resort, but in the meantime, take a peak at their FABULOUS website: www.sandestin.com.

Every Sunday I will post the pictures and the names of those of you who have generously donated. When you send your photos in, please email them to manicmommy@comcast.net and include your full name, city/state and email address. Include a short paragraph on why you chose to donate.

Last year I mentioned that ONE PINT OF BLOOD SAVES up to THREE LIVES and one pint can save up to FIVE BABIES, but my mother, WHO DONATED YESTERDAY AS WELL (Thanks MOM!), reminded me that donating blood doesn't equal 1 pint saving three lives. Donating blood saves FAMILIES.

Take that into consideration and please meet the Manic Mommy Virtual Blog for Blood Drive Challenge!

It not only will save lives, it could mean a terrific Florida getaway to Sandestin Golf & Beach Resort as well!


Any questions, please leave them in the comment section and I will answer them there! Thank you all!






*Accomodations include two-bedroom, full kitchen and living room; black-out dates and restrictions apply; does not include travel.

GeTTiNG DReSSeD

You know it's bad when you are getting dressed and you start by clipping on your bra and you say the silent mantra:

I hate bras
I hate bras
I hate bras
I hate bras

while you are putting it on.

And then ...

You pick up the jeans you see on the floor where you are certain you left them last night and put them on, and while you are attempting the zip-up, you say in your head a kind-of-whisper-thing:

These cannot be the jeans I just took of LAST NIGHT!

NoW THaT SaNTa'S GoNe ...

Guess what's next for Manic Mommy?

Here are a couple clues:






It's WAY bigger and BETTER than you can even guess from last time we did this here!

Do you know what's coming?

And more important ... ARE YOU READY?

MeRRy CHRiSTMaS!!!

I didn't do cards this year. So here's a BLOG CARD and VIDEO:

Have a blessed Christmas everyone!





Happy Holidays, and THANK YOU for reading my little blog!

MeN aRe TOTALLY FRoM MaRS

So you might have heard that it's freezing asky cold here in Chicago, like a negative one degree with 40 mile winds, right. Yeah, but my mood is actually OK. The closer we get to the end of the holiday, the better I feel. But that's not the point of this MeN aRe TOTALLY FRoM MaRS post here though.

Mr. Manic asks me today if I know where his long underwear is. Of course I do. I wore them last week. They're in the dirty laundry. I tell him they are in the dirty laundry. He retrieves them from the dirty laundry. He puts them on after getting them out of the dirty laundry. And goes outside to shovel, wearing his dirty long underwear.

You sensing a theme here?

After a while he comes back in to get ready for church, and as he's taking off his clothes (NO, this is NOT one of THOSE posts!), here is the conversation that ensues:

He looks at his long underwear as he removes them and then he looks at me and asks:

Him: "Are these dirty?"

Me: "Are you serious?"

Him: "I don't know." Dumb look on his face.

Me: "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"

Him: Shrug.

Me: Stare daggers at him.

Him: "What? I don't know." And he continues to pull off the long underwear.

THE LONG UNDERWEAR HE PULLED OUT FROM THE DIRTY LAUNDRY AN HOUR AGO.

Me: "ARE YOU FOR REAL SERIOUS?"

Him: "I don't know! I don't know how you operate things around here."

Me: "I'm not THAT BAD of a HOUSEWIFE!"

BReaKDoWN, aND NoT My CaR

This is one of these free-flowing posts where I have to preface it with: Mom, either don't read, or take a Xanax first, or just don't worry. I'm just venting.

But I have seriously confirmed that I am a proud sufferer of Seasonal Affectation Disorder as we await another freakin' winter severe alert storm here in lovely STUPID ASS CHICAGO, and I am miserable. I discovered I am mostly pretty much miserable all through December, and hate the whole month with a passion. I hate shopping. I get no joy out of it. I hate Christmas music, almost all of it. I hate listening to it in the stores. I hate malls. I hate ... and you know what, I just had a thought, if you're going to Bah Humbug me in the comments, just don't bother, because I never freaking gripe and bitch all that much and share my inner feelings too openly here and I am doing it now because at one point today Diva wanted to go out and play in the fucking snow, and did I mention I hate FUCKING snow, and I just finally said, "Go out, and if you come back sick, I don't care!" I hate gearing them up to go play in that white crap. I hate when they come in drenched and then I have to put all their stuff in the dryer. I hate the noise the dryer makes when all the zippers and buckles hit the inside of the dryer clanging all about inside of it. I hate that at Target on Tuesday I was buying stocking stuffers and a HUGE CART FULL of last-minute crap for THE WHOLE WORLD and this cute little OLD MAN WHO I LET CUT IN FRONT OF ME was buying ONE ROLL OF WRAPPING PAPER.

I said to him, "It must be nice to get to come to Target needing ONLY ONE ROLL OF WRAP!"

I would LOVE to be a MAN during the holiday season, wouldn't YOU!? How about THAT for a holiday movie? Yes! Let's write a holiday movie like Freaky Friday about a man and a woman who get switched on December 1 and the guy gets to do all the crap the woman gets to do FOR THE WHOLE MONTH and the woman can be the guy for the whole month and watch FOOTBALL every Sunday and the guy can go fight the crowds, put up decorations, send out cards of the cute freaking kids (WHICH I DID NOT DO THIS YEAR FOR THE FIRST YEAR IN ABOUT 20 YEARS AND MY KIDS AREN'T EVEN THAT OLD!).

YEAH, I WANNA SEE THAT MOVIE, DREAMWORKS!

So, at one point this afternoon, I just flat-out screamed in my house: I AM SOOOO CRABBY! Did it make me feel better? I don't know. Is typing this making me feel better? I don't know. My house is a mess. A storm is coming. I am still in my pajamas. I have a shitload of work to do. A kid is coming in here to ask my something for the twelfth-millionth time and if he asks me again I will scream, and now he is tapping his fingers or toes or something and he is beat-boxing with his mouth and if he doesn't just shut the hell up in like two seconds I might just blow a gasket. and that's another thing I wonder sometimes, is how many times in my life have I yelled at the kids, the boys specificially, "STOP TAPPING!" Do your kids do that? Do they just tap and jitter and make unneccessary noise just for the sake of making noise?

I don't know if this is making me feel any better but just the fact that my fingers are moving so fast on the keyboard is helping I think. I wish I could scream through my fingertips. I don't know what I would say but I am sure it would be loud as hell.

I do not get any joy out of the holidays. What is joyful? Do the kids appreciate all the gifts? I don't think so? Do I appreciate the mess I will have to clean up? Do I appreciate having to cook? Do I appreciate ... I don't appreciate any of it.

WHAT IS THE WHOLE MEANING OF IT AND YES, THE KID IS STILL IN HERE TAPPING AWAY WAITING TO GET MY ATTENTION AND I THINK I REALLY, REALLY REALLY DO HATE DECEMBER.

I told my friend if I could just fast-forward to even just March 1, I will be in a better place. And now I have to end this because the garage door just went up signalling that Mr. Manic is home so I have to go play Nice Wife.

THE END.

updated: It's 8:43 p.m. Mr. Manic came home with a tin of Garrett's cheese/caramel mixed popcorn. I ate half the can. This made me EXTREMELY HAPPY THE MINUTE I STARTED CHEWING. I am an emotional eater. AND, I am sure I am getting my period for the third time in like 42 days. NOT GOOD.

NOW, it's THE END.

CooKieS aND PooL BoYS

Like last year's, Cookie Exchange, I had my annual neighborhood drink fest exchange here last Thursday with 35 women. I am just getting around to posting about it because I think the sugar buzz/hangover has finally dissapated. I'm serious. You can get SICK from eating too many cookies. I was sick with flu-like symptoms all weekend long. It was worse than a hangover.

Of course, we drank our Pool Boys, which, for those of you new to Manic Mommy's blog, Pool Boys are GREAT in the summer, GOOD in the winter drinks - champagne, cranberry and a splash of pineapple over ice.

You drink them in SOLO cups and part of the fun is you have to NAME your POOL BOY.

So you have your SOLO cup and it's named, like you write the name on your cup with a Sharpie pen, something like Julio, Roberto, Enrique, Andre, you know, some sexy pool boy name, and throughout the night, there are Pool Boy jokes, like, "Do you need ANOTHER Pool BOY? And "How's that Pool Boy GOING DOWN?" and "Is your POOL BOY getting warm?" "Do you need some ice for your Pool Boy?" or "Can I taste your POOL BOY to see if I want one?"

Oh my Gosh, you know it's pretty pathetic when you're sitting in your house alone writing on your computer cracking up at the words that you're typing because you just are thinking you just might be the funniest person in the world typing about a drink you invented. I kill me sometimes.

So anyway, the cookie party. Pictures. Cuz I know you want to see 'em:

These were the cutest gingerbread cookies!

I made these--break and bakes - I cheated, but then I put candies on top, so I didn't cheat too bad, and hey, I was hosting! And they still taste good!

My front door! I wrap it every year! Isn't it pretty!

The whole assortment!

The one in the middle with the DOVE chocolate in the center has got to be THE BEST COOKIE OF THEM ALL and I probably snuck EIGHT OF THEM! It's a take on the peanut butter with Hershey kisses in the middle. OMG!

I was playing with the cookies and setting up the girls in this photo. It was fun. Of course, I had to save the blue girl for Diva or she'd have a smack-down fit.

These are the boxes we assemble all the cookie assortments into so there is no cookie-grabbin' fights and so we can drink more at the party!

And this is all the wine everyone brought! Isn't it all pretty lined up. Actually, I think that's all that's left over. We had a ton of wine!


And now, I have to go wrap some presents. How is your holiday stress joy shaping up?

BoY MeeTS GiRL WiNNeR & WiNNeR oF SeXY CD

Did you enter this contest?



To win this book: Boy Meets Girl!

Well, you can't enter anymore because it's over, so don't, but ...

I had author, Rachel Safier, choose one of the entrants and she chose CHRISTINE of NJ because ... in Rachel's own words:

So many good ones, but Christine's made me saw "Awwww...." out loud, so she's my winner!

Here was Christine in NJ's entry:

Looks like a fab book!... and a wonderful gift! So... I met my soulmate at a bar! He likes to say he "picked me up". ha ha!!! The scandalous truth is... The night we met was suppose to be my wedding night but I called off my wedding only 3 nights before! My girlfriends dragged me out of my house crying to "go have some fun." Needless to say I was pretty grumpy and looked like crap (no make-up OR shower!) and my now hubby simply made me smile with the DUMBEST magic trick ever!!! Even at my darkest moment... I could see what a gem he was! So, I smiled, My girlfriends passed him my number, We married a year later... And we just celebrated our 16th anniversary with our 4 beautiful kids. sniff sniff.

And since we are giving away two books, I assigned every other entrant a random number and then told Mr. Manic to choose a number and he picked 16. And #16 was Michelle who wrote:

I went to Durty Nellie's (the old one) to meet up with a friend of mine from work. For whatever reason, she didn't show. I didn't have a cell at the time (I'm a Luddite, shut up) and so was sitting there fuming for an hour waiting for her. My husband approached and asked why I was so pissed. I'm pretty sure I unloaded on him, but he was undeterred and offered to make my night memorable. And the rest... is history!

So ladies, please send me your addresses and how you would like your copy of BOY MEETS GIRL signed by Rachel and we'll get your books sent to you! Congrats!

And I did not forget I promised to give away a sexy CD from way back when I was doing that sexy challenge.

Well, Kirsten at The Great Lollipop Adventure has won a copy of it, and so has Katy but I don't have any info from Katy other than she is an avid fan of bookstores,(hee hee!) so Katy, if you're reading this and want your CD, email me at manicmommy@comcast.net so I can get you your CD.

And just because 'tis the season, the first person who leaves a comment asking me for the sexy CD, I will send out one more to you!

THe BuLLy oN THe BuS

So, Tukey comes home from school and tells me that a kid in our neighborhood who is also on his bus said a bad word today. I asked him about it.

He said two boys got on the bus. I know these two boys. They’re older than Tukey. They may have a little bit of a reputation of being, I don’t know, not rough, but they both have older siblings and they’ve been around the block.

The nicer of the two asked Tukey if he could sit next to him. Tukey said, in which I hoped was a nice tone, “I kind of want to sit by myself today.” In his defense he is “Star of the Week” in first grade so he’s got a huge tackle box with him that he has to carry and it was probably next to him on the seat. He also had his snow pants and snow boots in another bag so he was probably pretty squished on the seat. I’m sure he was not mean when he said he wanted to sit by himself. He also told me that there were plenty of other seats on the bus.

The kid who asked if he could sit next to Tukey said, “That’s fine,” and went to find another seat.

HOWEVER, the OTHER kid, the one who has not so great of a reputation, did not take too kindly to the situation.

When Tukey got home from school, he began relaying this story to me, and up to this point, he was telling me everything.

“And then, the nice kid went to find his seat but the other kid leaned over by me and said a bad word to me,” Tukey told me.

“What did he say to you?”

I was not expecting the next words to come from my first grader’s tiny little precious mouth:

“He said, ‘Fuck you.’”

I just stood there.

Then I said, “He said that?”

“Yep.”

“Hmmm.”

“Are you going to tell his mom? You have to tell his mom!”

And yeah, Diva and Ajers are right there too, saying, “YOU HAVE TO TELL HIS MOM ON HIM!”

My immediate reaction was OF COURSE! I want to tell his mom! I want to run right over there and say, “Do you know what your boy is spewing from his potty mouth? Do you have any idea what kind of words are coming from him? Do you kiss your son with that mouth of his!?!?!?”

But I couldn’t do that! Because then this potty-talking-Eff-Bomb-dropping-no-doubt-lying son would deny he drops the Eff bomb on the bus and then this mom would have it out for me and then I’d be living on Wisteria Lane! And I don’t feel like living the life of a Desperate Housewife right now.

So, I said I would think about it, knowing full well I would NEVER tell the mom that her son is an Eff-Bomb dropper.

However, if this was a close friend of mine, you can bet your sweet ass I’d march right over there and tell her I loved her but her kid was an Eff-Bomb dropper. Fortunately, I don’t know this mom very well.

So, I was still thinking about it, and secretly in a warped way, it kind of cracked me up that my serious little boy had said “fuck you” when he relayed the story to me, but I know it bothered him quite a bit to have someone tell him that.

About two hours later, I went up to him and I said, “I know what you should do next time.”

He said that when the kid said EFF YOU that he had whispered it to Tukey, so obviously, he knew it was bad. I asked Tukey if Tukey was larger than this kid. Tukey said he is about two inches taller than the other kid is, even though he is one or two years older than my Tukey.

I said, “OK, next time you are faced with an incident like this, you look the person in the eye, because first of all, obviously, the kid knew he was doing something VERY WRONG because he was whispering, and he was definitely trying to scare you, and intimidate you, right?”

“Uh huh.”

“You stand up, you look the kid in the eye and you say, loud and clear, “DID YOU JUST SAY THE EFF WORD TO ME?

I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THE EFF WORD? DO YOU KNOW HOW BAD A WORD THAT IS? WHY ARE YOU SAYING THE EFF WORD TO ME ON THE BUS? ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU MUST BE CRAZY MAN, TO SAY A WORD LIKE THAT!”

If he says it with enough conviction and enough gumption and enough strength and sincerity and belief goes behind his words (because come on, you can’t tell me that a second grader saying the EFF word is NOT crazy, right?) then everyone’s gonna believe the kid is crazy! And maybe he’ll second-guess his craziness and stop being such a crazy eff-bomb-droppin’ bully a-hole!

And here’s another thing. No way am I gonna confront his mom.
But you can bet your sweet lovin’ ass that the next time I get my sights on that kid alone, I’m gonna lean right up close to him in his little and lonely personal space and whisper this:

“Hey honey, you ever swear at my kid again, you’re gonna wish you never knew the EFF word existed.”

i NeeD To GiVe you SoMeTHiNG

It's been so long since I've held a contest on here, so let's do a giveaway, shall we?



There's this great new book coming out next week by author, Rachel Safier called Boy Meets Girl and that's exactly what it's about -- how couples who fell in love first met each other!

Remember these love stories?


Whether it was love on-line or in-line, in first grade, or hate-at-first sight (or site, if it was via a website -- ha, I am so funny!), the 40 couples in Boy Meets Girl tell about the first time they locked eyes on their soulmates! I've already started reading it and only put it down long enough to email the author to ask her if I could share the book with you guys because I think it's that fab!

And after you check out the book, check out more on Rachel Safier, who lives in DC. Her website will be live soon at www.rachelsafier.com. You can also check out her other site www.theregoesthebride.com and "friend" Rachel on FACEBOOK!

So, if you'd like to win a copy of the book, personalized to you, of course, simply leave a comment on how you met that somebody special, even if he was somebody special back then, but is a raging a-hole now. Hahah! And boy-readers of Manic Mommy, of COURSE you can play too! We can't forget about the three of you!

We'll give away one for the best answer, and one just randomly, so everyone will have a chance to win! And if you don't win, consider this a really charming holiday present to give to anyone you love! What a great gift idea!

And yes, if you're so inclined to do so, you can read how I met my la, la, la, la, la, la, laaaaaaa ... soulmate too ... How Manic Mommy Met Her Soul Mate: A Truly True and Romantically Romantic Love Story.

Bwhahahahaha, I kill me!

Me, a BooB JoB?

EDIT: *as requested--the photo in question updated below --

Two things to bring us into a Merry Manic Weekend:

The first item of importance --

I was shopping at Target this morning when my phone rings and it's my mom, and she doesn't say hello or how are you, or anything.

The first thing out of her mouth:

"Tell me the truth. Did you get a BOOB JOB!?"

OK. WHAT?

I'm like, "First of all, mom, when would I have the TIME TO GET A BOOB JOB and when would I have the TIME TO RECOVER FROM A BOOB JOB? Answer me that? When would I have the TIME?"

And not that I've given it too much thought in my life, but in no particular order of vanity, a boob job would NOT be the first order of cosmetics I would attend to if I had an indispensable amount of money.

The first order of business would be laser hair removal for my upper lip. Which I am seriously considering for the big 4-0. And then probably some ass liposuction, although I think I've mentioned it here quite a few times how much that skeeves me out whenever I've seen that surgery performed on The Discovery Channel, the way that wire piping gets shoved in and out of the layer of skin really fast to break up the fat. Nope, not for me.

Besides, I'm currently working on a bestseller that's gonna rival Nora Ephron's "I Feel Bad About My Neck."

It's called, "I Feel Bad About My Fat Ass."

If she can write a bestseller about the flappy skin on her freaking neck, surely the pockets of flab on my butt are worth some humor, right?

So, I've got to keep my fat ass. At least until I write the book, sell it, and become a millionaire so I can afford the liposuction.

So, NO, mom. I did NOT get a boob job on my FACEBOOK photo. That is just a very nice push-up bra. Thanks for being concerned!

Second order of business.

This is why I don't dust:

I notice some dust up on the light fixture. What do I do? Logic tells me to grab the closest item to me and lean over the banister to swipe at the offending dust strings. So, I do. The closest item just happens to be an undershirt, or as we like to call 'em, a wife beater.





So, it gets stuck up there on the light fixture. I think it makes a nice addition to our holiday decorations, don't you? I don't think it's coming down anytime soon either. I think I might need to find a red and green one too, just for some symmetry and color.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~


Photo in question - see, nothing major:

Four Year Blogaversary

Happy Four Years of Manic Mommy to Me today!

Win Some Adorable Children's Books!

These are two of the cutest children's books I've read in such a long time and they've got beautiful messages about the holidays.

Head on over to Betty by clicking HERE to enter to win a set of the two books signed by the author and illustrator husband-wife team! They'll make great holiday gifts for those little elf lovers of yours!

(You'll have to register on the site but it doesn't take long, I promise!)

I Was Gonna Try to be Scroogey

But it's just not gonna work. I tried, really.

I didn't want to get into the spirit. I tried to hold back. I wasn't feeling it.

Too many decorations were coming out too soon. Way too soon for me. There was just too much talk of the holidays, and I was calling them the HELLIDAYS, because I just DIDN'T want to be into it this year. I didn't want to think about shopping, I didn't want to think about sending out cards with my kids' picture on them (I am still holding off on that one - I really don't have the energy for that this year), I was shuddering at the thought of having to shuttle gifts from the trunk to the basement to the shelves to hide them from children, and then to sneak them back out and then wrap them when they were asleep. I didn't want to think about planning and parties and gifting and buying and lights and eating and drinking and all of that stress that comes along with all of it.

NONE OF IT.

I was calling it the SCROOGEY HELLIDAYS.

But then, at church today, they played what is now my most favorite Christmas song EVER and I wanted to share it with you, in the hopes that if you were or are feeling the same way as I am or was about all the stress and aggravation that awaits us in the next four weeks that we just consider this song, and the words and take a moment to just ... Be.

THANKFUL ...

That 17 years ago today, hungover from drinking probably peach margaritas at Carlos Murphy's bar on Butterfield Road, Mr. Manic asked me to marry him in front of all of our family right after the Bears lost and before we had our Thanksgiving dinner.

I'm so thankful he took a risk on me!

And 17 years I'd rather be no where else than with my beautiful family on this day!

What are you thankful for this beautiful weekend!

Blessings to you all!

Real Life Conversation IN THE MOMENT

I hear the kids in the basement and they are clearly running around like maniacs, getting sweaty and overheated, and I just know someone will come up crying or pissed off.

Me, at the top of the stairs:

"OK, guys, enough of that."

Ajers: "We're having fun."

Me: "I don't want you to have fun."

And AHA, as I type THIS WORD, THIS MOMENT Tukey is SCREAMING TO ME ... "MOMMY!!!!!!!!!" ... and Ajers just ran up the stairs, "Mom, Tukey hurt himself."

Screw 'em all and I told 'em so. I am NOT going to save the freaking day.

Reasons Why Day Sex Six Didn't Happen

First, read the previous post or this if you have no idea what the title means.

OK, caught up?

So Five Days in, it was Day Six on Thursday, and here, in no particular order, I bring you "Reasons Why Day Six of the Sexy Challenge Didn't Happen" ...

1. It's Mr. Manic's Budget Season, and no, that is NOT code for anything.

2. He didn't get home until 8:00 p.m.

3. While we did discuss a nice backrub with some "warm lotion," we didn't think that would constitute as "the act."

4. I considered calling up the church to ask the Rev. Young who instituted this challenge if his definition of sex was the same as Bill Clinton's definition or if Mr. Manic and I may be able to orally discuss the situation. If you get my drift. And then smoke a cigar afterward.

5. I had Panera black bean soup for dinner.

6. Diva had a report to finish on the Liberty Bell AND had to work on her multiplication facts. AT 8:00 p.m. Of course.

7. Ajers' guitar practice was moved to 6:00, which is why we ate Panera for dinner, which is why we didn't get home till 8:00, etc. etc. excuses, excuses, I KNOW IT ALREADY DAMMIT!

8. At tuck-in, Tukey had a stuffy nose, and I had to help him use the Neti-Pot to clear his sinuses (and yes, he is home sick today, ruining my one day of the week where I had planned on yoga and then lunch with friends).

9. At tuck-in, Diva had a tummy ache so I laid down with her until she fell asleep, which was 10:04.

10. When I got to my room, Mr. Manic was snoring.

11. Honestly, we were both probably tired of having sex!

12. And probably, in the back of our minds, one of the main reasons we didn't go for Day Six was that Diva busted in on us on Day Five! Yup. FORTUNATELY ... yes, fortunately, and don't ask about logistics here folks, I was facing the door and yes, I had it cracked open for this very reason ... I saw her 'arriving' ... I cannot use the word coming in this context, that would be SOOOO wrong ... And I moved away and said, "What's the matter Diva!"

I was scared to death she was gonna say, "There's too much noise in here, what are you two doing!?"

Instead she said, "I can't sleep."

"Oh," and then stupid me said, "Well, I can't find my sock," because it was apparent I was on the wrong side of the bed. So she grabs my cell phone and opens it to shed some light on the bed and Mr. Manic and I both scream NOOOOOOOO, and then I said, "OH HERE IT IS, I FOUND MY SOCK!"

So, those are the reasons, my friends, why we only got to Day Five. Mr. Manic said before bedtime last night that we could skip Day Six but then we could make it up on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, but you know what?

I THINK I NEED A BREAK!!!!

I think we've proved to one another that we still and have always loved each other, and that we have fun together, and maybe that was the point of this whole sexperiment.

And if you still would like to win a sexy fun CD with great music with various artists that I will personally choose for you, GO HERE TO ENTER!

Day Four of the Sexy Challenge ...

If you need to get caught up on the Sexy Challenge, read this first.

OK, you back?

Well, yeah, so today was Day Four.

It's been, interesting, to say the least.

I'm not going to go into details, because obviously, sex is a sacred commitment between two married people, but I will say that Day Four was hard, and I don't mean that in the Hard-Hard way, if you know what I mean. I mean that well, you know, I didn't want to wait till it was too late because I am tired, he is tired, so it's one of those sneak-away-when-he-gets-home things. Day Four was challenging hard.

Our code has always been, "Honey, there's a shelf upstairs in the closet that needs to be fixed," so then he'll come upstairs and help 'fix' the shelf in the closet. (Remember this part because it comes back into play later at the dinner table.)

So then, we're upstairs and we can hear the kids downstairs, and of course, I'm chatting away in the middle of it, telling him how my friend broke her arm AND her big toe on vacation, and how yoga was really good today, and things aren't exactly going the way they SHOULD be going, and then I'm like, "What's the matter, we always talk like this during."

Cuz we DO! We're communicators! We talk and we laugh, and we, well, you know ...

And he brought up a very good point. He said usually we can discuss things because it's not like we're doing it every day and it's much easier for things to "happen" when it's not an everyday occurence. YOU KNOW?

Do you get what I'm getting at?

Or am I not making any sense?

Regardless! Day Four, UNDER MY BELT! YAHOOOOO!

And things are going great, and I even texted him today saying some sexy stuff, and too bad he doesn't know how to text back because I'm sure he would have had the foreplay texting right back at me.

Then afterward, we went downstairs where I had a lovely dinner prepared. Don't EVEN ask what it was. OK, I'll tell you. Stouffer's Chicken Enchilladas.

At dinner, we always play a family game: What was the best part of your day. So we shared that. But we said we couldn't say anything that had to do with our family members (cuz someone ALWAYS says, "Right now is the best part of my day).

I said my best part of the day was that I got a copy of Wally Lamb's The Hour I First Believed in the mail today to review on Betty's Lit Lounge, and I'm so psyched. It's huge though--over 700 pages.

Mr. Manic said the best part of his day was fixing the shelf upstairs!

Then Ajers said next we had to say what was the WORST part of our day. Mr. Manic said, "Well, the worst part of my day was that when I first started to fix the shelf upstairs it was pretty hard to do. The nuts weren't fitting right and it was pretty tight, but then I got them screwed in just right."

SERIOUSLY NO LIE THAT IS WHAT HE SAID!

He and I were BUSTING OUT LAUGHING!

How can you NOT love that man!?!?!?!?

And so yes, Day Four. The Sexy Challenge. And I love him and am ready for Day Five.

And I was IMing Dawn from Yuba City who I do not think has a blog, and we decided that I will hold a contest and give away a SEXY CD that I will burn for a winner, or two or three right here on this Manic Mommy blog. But you have to promise to want to have sex. OK! With your boyfriend, spouse, partner or lover, OK? And maybe not seven days in a row, but at least one time.

I promise it will be a sexy CD with awesome music you will want to ruffle up some blankets while listening to it. So, in order to win, just leave a comment telling me a funny/sexy/unique story about a strange place you may have done it. Yeah, that's what I want to know.

And no MOM, you cannot leave a comment!

SHoPPiNG & THe SeXPeRiMeNT

First the shopping:

Met up with my bestest high school friends today for lunch and shopping and it's always so much fun and we're always like, "How come we don't do this that much?!" We had lunch at PF CHang's where, JUST like in high school, THEY peer pressured me into drinking!

So, since I didn't want any wine or my typical appletini, I asked our waitress if she could ask the bartender to make Pool Boys for us. So my friend K and I had Pool Boys. You can take the summer out of the girls, but you can't take the girls out of the summer. Or something like that. Our other friend, S, sucked down a Bloody Mary and we all looked at the empty glass and were like, "Where'd your drink go?!" Some things never change, even after 21 years post high school.

And then there's "T-Back" who drinks WHISKEY at lunch. Hard core. She's hilarious though because of course, the conversation very soon leads to blow j0bs and sex and thong underwear, and she says, "I only wear thongs when I want to RAMP IT UP!"

RAMP.IT.UP!

OK!!!!! So. Basically, thongs as sex toys.

And I have to tell this story, so T, don't kill me! She said she called up her husband to the bedroom saying she needed his opinion on something. When he got up there, she had put on a garter and said, "I'm cleaning out my drawers and wondered if I should give this to Goodwill?"

How's THAT for ramping it up! Keeping the marriage alive!



Then we get on the subject of jeans, and S is a very intuitive shopper. She knows what she likes and she's always dressed so nice and classy and KNOWS the name brands, whereas I, well, if it comes from Target, then I know the namebrand -- Momisimo anyone! Hhahah. Well, I do like my MACY's brands, so I have a teeny bit of class.

So S is a firm believer in the "Get one good pair of expensive well-fitting jeans" and life is good. We made her take us to Nordstrom's for a jean-fitting session and it was hilariously fun! T-Back got a couple pairs of jeans that look great on her, and I found one that I liked but I can't rationalize $180 for a pair of jeans that I have to sweat my ass to get into in the first place. Although we all did like this one pair of JOEs (is that the name of 'em girls?) Rockers. They were like a boob job for the butt cheeks! I will admit I am going to go to Nordstrom's Rack (the outlet) and see if I can find a pair for cheaper. I could use a butt lift.

And of course, T-Back locks herself out of the dressing room and she decides to crawl under to get back in so I had to take a picture. Cuz why not?



And we also celebrated that K is CANCER-FREE! She was diagnosed with breast cancer about six years ago and it mastasized into her brain and she has had about 28 surgeries, has had kidney failure, and so much hardship and has NEVER GIVEN UP! We are all so proud of her and she is amazing and such an inspiration!


So, it was a wonderful day with great lifelong friends on the verge of 40, and we missed our other pal Peg, who is at home with her sick little boy. : (

Now, for the SeXPeRiMeNT part of this post:

Last night, at dinner, our friends were telling us about this pastor who has challenged his married members of his congregation to have sex with each other. Not with each other as in an orgy-each-other, but with their OWN SPOUSES! Duh. You can read this link to learn more. So our friends were going to take the challenge. Of course, the husband is all for it. What husband WOULDN'T be?

I said, "I think the only time we ever did it that many times was in college when we did it like eight days in a row." (I don't know what was up but SOMETHING was in the air then!) And then, when we were trying to conceive Tukey, I MADE Mr. Manic "have relations" with me THIRTEEN days in a row. What's the big deal? I wanted to make sure he got me when I was ovulatin'. For the record, HE DID! And I didn't want to have to try again the following month. Making babies is a pain in the ass.

So, during dinner, we continued talking about this challenge to have sex for seven days in a row, wondered if we could do it (ha, pun intended!). I made jokes about it being just like an exercise program. We would HATE it in the beginning. It would be a chore. But then we'd feel great after we got it over with. And then maybe after the seven days, we'd continue to want to do it. Maybe we'd find that we'd like it.

Maybe it would become like a game, trying to figure out how to sneak away from the kids, like instead of being in the old days when we would try to figure out how to sneak away from the parents (and dear God, yeah, my mom reads this, so now she's gonna call and say, "When and where were YOU HAVING SEX when you were UNDER MY ROOF!?!?!? -- So Mom, just don't call.) now we will just have to figure out how to hide from the kids, which usually I just say, "Honey, I need you to help me with this shelf that fell down in the closet up here!" That's code.

So, we're talking at dinner about doing this challenge and I'm like, "So, you wanna try it" and Mr. Manic looks at his watch and says, "Sure why not, we already got one out of the way about three hours ago!"

How's that for romance?

And for the record, today, Sunday, is Day Two, and we're officially Two for Two.

I've told him we don't have to be romantic. I don't want romance. I don't care about the Big O for me. His are easy. I don't care if it doesn't last more than 2.2. I'm all about meeting the challenge.

I'm excited to see how this affects our relationship. I'm excited to see how our moods alter. I'm excited to see how he acts toward me when he comes home from work. I'm excited to see how we interact during the day. I'm excited to see if he'll notice I won't do any laundry this week or make dinner or unload the dishwasher either. I'm excited to see how we communicate differently. I'm excited to see how we connect physically, emotionally, spiritually.

And Mr. Manic?

Well, he's just excited.

So, check back to see how things are going! And let me know if you take the challenge or what your thoughts are on Seven Sexy Days!

Bang-Bang & BlogHer '09

I got my hair cut and got the bangs I talked about in the previous post that no one wanted me to get.

When Diva got off the bus, she screamed at me, horrified, telling me I looked ugly and how could I do that when I promised her that I wouldn't get bangs! "I hate them! I hate them! I hate them!" She yelled and then stomped ahead of me toward home.

What a warm and heartfelt welcome.

The boys kinda looked at me and said, "You look different." I think one of them said, "I don't like your hair."

Mr. Manic came home. And didn't say anything. Then he started calling me "Bangy." "Hey there, Mrs. Bangy."

I "thought" I liked them.

What do I know.

In OTHER non-hair-related, but Blog-related news, I am SOOOO going to BlogHer '09 because, yes, my friends, it's in CHICAGO!!

And more good news, my hair will have grown out by then!

And maybe I'll find a new family who will love me not only for my hairstyle by then too!

Some Stuff

So, first of all, Michelle at Semblance of Sanity is doing more good for some wonderful children. Check out her latest and greatest here. Warning, it is emotional and may make you sad, but prayers are definitely needed. So go visit. NOW. Then come back.

And then, of course, some Betty stuff, which has become my fourth child. If you have been reading along these past eight months, and like what you've seen over at Betty, you can take a quick survey and be entered to win a NINTENDO DS. Did I mention the DS comes with SIX GAMES?!?!?!?

It's really simple. Just go here to answer this quick and easy survey. And yeah, when you do, tell them how much you LOVE Betty's Lit Lounge and Just Another Manic Mommy, and the Parenting section. I will FOREVER, FOREVER, FOREVER be in your debt!

And here's another new feature they just added. You can rate the articles you read and give them STARS. So like let's say you read about how I think Vicky Can Keep her Secrets. If you like what you read (or didn't), then you can rank the article by clicking on the stars at the bottom, but be careful because those stars are sensitive little bastards and they click at the quickest touch of a mouse.

Or you can also go to the article about the kind of dog I think Obama should get. As you read it, you'll see I wasn't thrilled with this particular assignment. Although I totally LOVE his tactic for getting a dog, and it's one I employ in my own home. I tell my children the same thing every day:

"I'll get you a dog when I become president of the United States of America."

Obama may have won the presidency but he lost the puppy war for sure. Read the whole thing here: How Much Is That Doggy In The White House?

And lastly, I'm getting my hair cut on Friday. I told Mr. Manic tonight that I was thinking of getting bangs, and I showed everyone a picture I cut out of Katie Holmes from a while ago, when her hair was a bit longer.

Diva said, "Ewwww, that's like Katie HOMELY!"

Mr. Manic said, "Are you thinking like how you had your hair in COLLEGE?"

I kinda shrugged and said, "Well, wouldn't it make me look YOUNGER?"

The boys really didn't say anything, they just kept eating their grilled cheese sammiches and tomato soup. (Yep, can you believe it? I DID COOK TONIGHT!)

Finally, after some silent contemplation about a potential new hairdo for me, Mr. Manic said:

"Why don't you just leave well enough alone."

Closet Cleaning & A Treasure FIND!

So the weekend before last, I cleaned out the boys' closet and this weekend, it was Diva's turn, which ended up being a lot more fun than doing the boys' room.

For one, we went to Starbucks first to get some caffeine. I haven't had a latte in F.O.R.E.V.E.R but a grandenonfatthreepumpwhitechocolatelattewithEZwhip seemed to be calling my name ...

... oh Manic?

See, did you hear that?

Well I did, so we ventured to Starbucks, then back to her pit to get started on the closet.

And for two, I haven't played Barbies in FOREVER either!

Messy Room / Before Photos:






I'd hold up two items and tell her to pick one to give up to the hobos. That's what we call Good Will. I have no idea why.

Fun with Snuffy, a highlighter, Ken, a baby, a flamingo in a Barbie car


The PERFECT Man, NO?


We got rid of most of her slutty Bratz dolls, and we were planning on saying goodbye to all the Polly Pockets but when it came right down to it, we both couldn't let go.

Next time 'round.

What I want to know is why does she have a supply of bungee cords in her closet?


Then I found MY little Barbie baby from seriously 1974. The crib says Mattel 1974 on the bottom. Look at the eyes on this cutie baby doll. They are like real glass. I took it from Diva, deciding that it no longer belongs in her closet. I mean, this sucker is 35 years old! It's a classic. Do I hear any eBay bids?

This cute baby that is 35 years old!

Going once?

Here are some after pics of the pigsty mess.

Clean!

Clean!






All Done!


The best, ABSOLUTE POSITIVELY best find from spending the day in Diva's closet?

I had NO IDEA of some of the treasures she was keeping from me in her closet. I mean, when I discovered this, I about freaked!

Who knew she was hiding the complete collection of the Jolie-Pitt family from me? Tell me this is not a highly coveted collector's item! eBay, here we come!

Because Who Said TWIT?

The clouds and the sun and the hail aligned today and Tukey went back to school and I could hear probably three-quarters of the amount I usually can so I ventured out today! Had a really fun blogger lunch with some fabU ladies, including none other than Dawn at Because I Said So, who smacked me every time I said TWIT instead of tweet. Like I give a SHEET!

We were joined by Melisa with one S at Suburban Scrawl, my stalker extraordinaire who called me like three times to see if I was out of the shower yet (You can read HER version here), and Melissa with TWO ESSES, the PROPER way to spell the name for crying out loud (KIDDING MELISA with one S!) at Hope Floats, who, it JUST HIT ME, I THOUGHT FOREVER THAT HER NAME WAS REALLY HOPE! Duh.

And lovely Sarah from Snarkalicious was there, and Shawna, newly published author of Gardening Nekkid. BUY IT HERE. Trust me, you don't have to be nekkid to enjoy gardening.

Shawna Buy Her Nekkid Book!


And my dear friend Lynn, who has not gotten into the total joys of blogging yet, but is strongly considering it. And honest and truly I enjoyed meeting Michelle from, yep, you guessed it, Honest and Truly, who is like a kindred spirit because we both wanted key lime cheesecake for dessert! Plus, she extra extra rocks because she brought me the popcorn ball I so wanted at Halloween. I haven't eaten it yet because yes, I'm going back to Weight Watchers tomorrow!

Melisa with One S, Me with Popcorn ball, Dawn Because She Said So:


Dawn, Buy Her Book Because I Said So (Get it, BECAUSE I SAID TO BUY IT! BWHAHAAHH!)


So we all hung out and chit chatted, and I ate the world's largest salad, you know because I'm going back to Weight Watchers tomorrow, and even left SOME on my plate cuz that's one of the first rules of dieting, or rather, habit changing!

My leftover salad:



All of us, but my friend Lynn had to leave. Something about children needing to be attended to?

We talked about men rubbing our a$$eS (wonder if that'll get me any new readers), and publishing books, and twittering, and my cool shoes I wore especially for Dawn, who if she is a true friend she will post a picture on HER SITE for you to enjoy. Then she was texting me the whole time I was driving home and I was texting back: I'M GONNA DIE! I CAN'T TEXT AND DRIVE! I JUST MISSED MY EXIT!

But really it was fun.

When I returned home, since it was a crappy rainy afternoon, after school, some of us moms took the kids the see Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa. Fun flick! I especially love the new hippo dude, Moto Moto, who likes 'em Big & Chunky. My type o' guy.

So, take your kids to see it. Especially if it's a crappy weekend. Or not. Whatever. Tomorrow, we've got basketball. Diva AND Ajers are doing it this winter, and we've also got an indoor soccer game. So, there's no rest for the weary!

And if you really have NOTHING else better to do than sit here looking at my dumbass blog, then why don't you hop on over to Betty and read this fun and insightful stuff:

Victoria Can Keep Her Secrets

While I did not vote for the future president, I do have some nice thoughts about him:
Our Children, Our Future (Dad, don't call me up to yell or anything cuz I got another one coming about Obama's future dog. Yeah. I know.

I Hate Winter Cuz yeah. I do.

OK, so maybe they're not FUN, but it's all I got for now.

Have a great weekend everyone. And in case you haven't started defrosting your turkey yet, you've got exactly 20 days to do so. Yeah, I know. You're welcome. That's what I'm here for.