Tuesday, April 01, 2008

You Know I Hate Tags

OK, so the pressure is ON. Eat a truffle off the floor in front of Jen Lancaster and then show her book cover on the series premiere of Booking With Manic and all of a sudden you’re tagged for a meme!

Jen, like you, I don't dig these memes, and I never do them, but for you! Anything!

So, here goes:

1. Link back to the person who tagged you.

2. Post these rules on your blog.

3. Share six unimportant things about yourself.

4. Tag six random people at the end of your entry.

* * * Six Unimportant Things about Manic Mommy -- for some of these I’m going for the gross-out factor!

1--I am not afraid to use the bathroom when I have to use the bathroom. Target, Walmart, Panera. If I gots to go, I gots to go. I had this discussion the other day with a friend. How some people will say, “Oh, I can’t wait to get home from vacation so I can just go to the bathroom.” WTF!? You hold it in for seven days! Now that’s sick. Find a toilet and use it. That’s what they’re there for. However, I refuse to go au natural like a certain friend of mine who may or may not be out jogging on occasion and feel the need to release her bowels in the wilderness. Or behind their neighborhood’s stately entryway announcing the name of their subdivision. Now THAT is just sicko.

2--I guess we’re just going with the bodily function theme here for a moment cuz the next thing I feel like sharing is this: During a one 24-hour period time in my life, I managed to vomit in four modes of transportation:

A cruise ship
A bus
A plane
A car

In that order.

During this same 24-hour time frame, I also vomited in probably a sink, toilet, the grass, and an ice bucket. Want proof?

There are photos of me throwing up in the ice bucket, sitting Indian style, the bucket between my legs. And I am nekkid. You have Mr. Manic to thank for that. When he returned to our cabin from the midnight pizza buffet, he thought the photos would make a great vacation memento.

3—Back to the bathroom theme. After I take a shower, while still in my towel, I lean backward over the sink and comb my hair so the hairs don’t fall all over the floor because that drives me crazy. I lose a lot of strands of hair when I comb my hair. Then I will roll all the loose (and yes, that is LOOSE, not lose) hairs into a ball and throw them away. Because I am that anal. I will also, on occasion, unscrew the cap of the toothpaste and blow hot water through it to clean all the gunky stuck-on toothpaste that has accumulated there to make it nice and clean again. And, by the way, have you ever pulled out your sink clog thingy to look at how gross it can get? Do it. It’s really gross. Then get some Drano and let it soak in your sink and you’ll be amazed at how clean that thingy does get. It’s nasty. Especially if you have a spouse who shaves daily. That thing gets mungy. Do you know that word? Mungy. That's right up there with MOIST and Twatwaffle. That mungy moist twatwaffle. Use THAT in a sentence Jennsylvania readers!

4—I had this crush on Ajer’s baseball coach a few seasons ago and while this is probably really unimportant to you all, we ran into him in the FROZEN food section the other day. AND, I had on the same shirt as I was wearing the LAST time I saw him which was at one of Ajer’s basketball games like two months ago! YES! I remembered the shirt I was wearing! And the kids totally KNOW I am crushing on this man. THEY were nudging me and making eyes at me while I was trying to have a flirty conversation with hot baseball coach guy!

I even went home that night and confessed to Mr. Manic: “You know, if you ever ditched me, I think I would be brave enough to call up the old baseball coach and ask him out.” Yuh HUH! It’s not my regular grocery store either, but now I know where he shops!

You know how you have like fantasy crushes on say, Michael Johns? Well, Baseball Coach Dude is my real life crush. Too bad Ajers quit playing baseball.

5—I am just now thinking I could someday use a boob lift, but if given the choice of free money and the option to do anything I would want to do with my body to make it more appealing, I would probably go for some thigh/ass liposuction… nah, scratch that—I have seen how those thin sharp bands of steel are jabbed into the skin and shoved and prodded till the fat cells are crumbled all up. Nah, I think I would just take all that money and use it for facials and massages and extra yoga classes. THAT would make me feel really good!

6—I’m looking around trying to think of a number six. I’ve confessed, I’ve grossed out, I’ve shamed myself, embarrassed myself, mortified ... let’s see, what else is there to say? Something unimportant about me… It’s boring to say that I don’t think I have ever broken a bone in my body… I can tell you something kinda cool... that today, and this is no joke, today my sister and I are the EXACT SAME AGE! April Fool’s Day is my sister’s birthday and for two weeks she and I are the same age! We are Irish Twins, which means, if you are an Irish Twin, this means your mom liked to drink a lot and as soon as she could again after not being pregnant again, she did and then she got pregnant right away. Either that or she lent her younger sister her birth control pills so her younger sister wouldn't get pregnant and instead my mom got pregnant. Those are the two theories of how we Irish twins came to be! And on that note, one last thing I will share that’s unimportant, or maybe not … I have an IUD and I know how to use it! And… and… get this… it doesn’t expire until 2013!

Tah Dah! How’d I do!? Now, since I have opened up and torn out my soul to you all, as Jen Lancaster did, I am requesting that you all, even you anons, please share a tidbit of your life with me--something quirky, something shameful, something silly, something you might not share with anyone else in the whole wide world! Let's hear it! And for those who I must tag to share six things, I give you the following:

Swishy because she’s my BBFF.

Jim Cooney at Ink and Beans because he French kissed a giraffe so I'm sure he's got some more interesting things to share, plus his blog name is pretty darn cool!

Karyn at Pretty In the City because I haven't hung out with her in a while and want to see wuuuzzzzup!

Martini but I’m afraid he will not play our reindeer games.

Drewpy Drew because he will play in these reindeer games.

And Michelle Is The Best aka My Two Army Brats cuz her hubby is in Iraq for a long time and she’s at home with two little ones!

And for the rest of you, come on, dish a little bit and share some scoop with me!

Peace UP!


Tanya said...

So your list was a lot more exciting than mine was. My biggest revelation was that I have never used an ATM.

AMEN on #1

DeeMarie said...

Here is my most ashamed factoid... as a 30-something year old. Last night, on my own free will, I purchased the Hannah Montana Soundtrack. For myself. And I've listened to it. And my BFF can't wait to borrow it (no one wonders why we're friends!)... so there you go. Also, before I can eat an orange, I have to peel every tiny little piece of the skin off, including all that white stuff that generally sticks to the inside. There you go.... I'm mortified.

Mommy Confidential said...

so sad, whining, bitching, complaining can't believe I missed the oppurtunity for an early read on CERTAIN GIRLS, but maybe I'm saving all my luck for your book (when it comes out..soon, right?) or the lottery. Anyhoo. Throwing up is an artform men do not understand. Great stuff, girlie!!

domestic_valerie said...

I have a tidbit for you...but it's one that I am sharing with, oh, just about everyone these days.

I'm having twins.

Not Irish. So come October I think I'm going to be the manic mommy...

(PS: Had to share the "Big V" post with hubby, 'cause he's up next...)

Anonymous said...

my tidbit... I had 6 kids in less than 7 years and didn't go crazy. My kids may have, but I didn't!! Naw..they are 35 to 43 now and just fine!

Martini said...

You've talked me into it.....I'll play......tomorrow.

Gotta go coach baseball so hot mom's can flirt with me.


Roger Miller said...

Oh sure, you won't play when I tag you. :)

So is Mr. Manic going to post your post-vomit spectacular pictures anytime soon? And I thought buying my wife a vacuum cleaner for her birthday was bad! (And no, contrary to what she may say, the vacuum cleaner was NOT her gift.)

I have no problem going number one, ANYWHERE (unless someone is watching, of course) - I'm a dude. #2 on the other hand, I have been known to wait for an appropriate and CLEAN location (my son doesn't share this affliction, as I am amazed at some of the places he leaves his feces.)

Okay, I've rambled enough, figured I stop by and say Howdy! Been in lurker-mode for a few weeks, cause I'm shy. :)

lilypotter said...

I don't know if I should be impressed that you shared that much with us... or kinda freaked out that you shared that much with us. It's a toss up, really.

I have no problem using public toilets, but my mom and brother are freaks about it. They won't even use my toilet if they have to do more than pee. I've never understood that.

Can I ask why you vomited that much in a 24-hour period? Was it illness, drinking, pregnancy or a combination of the three? I'm just curious, you know 'cause you're sharing and all.

My family and I have been friends with this other family forever (their sons are the same age as my bro and I) and the one that's my age was my first crush- and is still a god. My husband is well aware of my major crush on this guy; he's come to accept it. What can you do? Some men are just hot.

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Amanda--Hannah Montana is pretty good--GNO baby! But the HSM CDs are much more fun!

MomCon--you'll HAVE to get Certain Girls--so far it's a GREAT read, and I have to finish it soon so I can send it to Shelley the winner!

Dom Val--I can't believe you are preg with twins! I remember when you got preg with Maia!!! Congrats!

Jodi--Did you drink a lot back then??


Mylhibug--There you are! I thought you deserted moi! And when you become a bestselling memoirist, and then you tag me, then OF COURSE I will do your memes!

Lilypotter--it was a severe case of alcohol poisoning/stupidity on my part. We invented a shot we called the Kermit the Frog.

Kate said...

Good times!

Regarding your answers, hubby will answer nature's call almost anywhere he has to, although not in the wild. He does use lots of horrifying portacans when he runs. Gross, poo on the seat, pitch dark because it's 5am. Sorry, hon, I would wait.

And the drain thing? I have long, thick hair. We just ran three rounds of drain cleaner and it's still kind of slow. I think it's the snake next. Any time hubby tries to complain I offer to cut my hair short--haha.

Something unimportant about me? I think that's just about every day on my blog. Oh, and all the teachers on my little team have gender neutral names--such as Pat, Jo, Bobbie, Jean, Leigh... Every time I tell hubby a story about them I add, "and they're all women" just because it tickles me so much.

Eileen said...

So why no posting of the vacation photo? Did it make the photo album/scapbook?

Kat said...

Ha! Those were fabulous! You are hilarious! I think you should post the naked vomiting picture. Just for proof. Ha! jk
Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting. I appreciate it! :)

Michelle said...

Ummm, when I was little, my mom freaked me out about public toilets. I actually thought you could only do #1 in public toilets.

When I was in kindergarten, this worked ok for awhile. Until I *really* had to go. Holding it in gave me a stomachache, so they sent me to the nurse's office. No temp, but they still decided to send me home.

Unfortunately, before my mom could get there... I couldn't hold it in anymore. All I remember is the perfectly coiled loops in my white roadrunner underwear. I don't think my mom bothered to wash it. And after that, I learned that public toilets *do* accept fecal matter.

But I still hate public bathrooms.

I'm going to go hide in shame now... thanks, Manic!

Jules said...

Loved the post. Thanks for sharing.
An unimportant fact about me... I hate to wear high heels, even thought I think they look so sexy.

Kelli said...

there were lots of things i wanted to comment on but I have short term memory, sorry. I do remember the sink stuff (good word BTW,but I cant remember it now)I do clean out that drain now and then because I also think its gross.

Laski said...

I got lost in the bloggy world and finally cleaned out my Reader--so, here I am. And, what a post to come back to! I do the same thing with my hair--I'm anal that way as well.

I love learning more about you. And, I don't think we need to worry about TMI--no such thing :)

Kim VanDerHoek said...

"MUNGY!" I am SO going to work that word into a sentence tomorrow.

Jenster said...

This is all good to know. Really. Except for the part about the person you know who sees the whole world as her very own personal toilet. That's just icky.

Billie Wages said...

Oh, Manic, I cannot keep up with you even with my chair set at its highest speed of 6 miles/hr! LOL Lovin' it girl!

Before I got dropped into the chair, we were at the cemetery where my son is buried, and I had to go. No place there nor anywhere soon, and this was the start of my Depend days, so no could wait, no not at all!

Granddaughter Ashley was with me, and we were meandering around reading markers. A nice sized, round bush (covers from all angles except overhead (airplanes, helicopters, hot air balloons, dirigibles) and behind (outer edge of cemetery with mysterious wooded area) - doesn't leave much coverage does it? I told Ashley to keep watch for me, and before I could get all the words out of my mouth, ahhhh relief! This was several years ago in the still-walking days, and she still brings it up, laughing about her Mammaw in retelling it as recently as last week. Is this providing my grandchildren with entertainment, or setting an example?

In the 50s, we had no choice if we had to go while on a "road trip"...oh, maybe a good blog story, there on the gravel road trying to make the ferry to cross the Mississippi River before the final crossing of the night, and I, a kid, had to go!

I'm going to enter your book contests so that when I can read again, I will have the best endorsed by Manic Mom ready and waiting for me. You keep going girl!!

Ragdoll Billie on the "Road to Remission" with hubby of 46 yrs
Tootin' my own horn:

Mary said...

I have a tidbit too.... but not two tidbits like domestic valerie has! Congrats to you!

I am preggo! One little tidbit to arrive in Sept. My blog explains it all.

Trish Ryan said...

Hysterical. I can't believe your hubby took a picture of you nekkid & puking. But it seems he was right, as it's now a cherished memento of your vacation :)

My awkward/embarrassing admission to add to this fine conversation: I was eating a bowl of cottage cheese while reading your post, and nothing stopped me. Not the puking, not the pooping in Target. I just kept munching away, trying not to choke as I laughed.

KATE said...

Great list! I think I would have to use the thigh/ass liposuction & a tummy tuck! & just a general overhaul on my fat ass! That's what I would do if I could change what I could about myself!

Martini said...

Thanks for the tag Manic. I like playing your reindeer games. Let's see....allow me to get a few things out of the way.

I haven't updated my blog since Ms. Lohan had an ankle bracelet on to keep up with her drunken self.....really check it out.

I would prefer not to take others because they'll return the favor in the future. But I encourage any six fellow bloggers/surfers to participate.

My six insignificant but interesting facts.....here goes:

I'm a runner/cyclist. I like to do both and it keeps me in great shape. I love to compete. As a matter of fact I have a race Saturday.

I enjoy the company of women. I believe I do love women more than anything in the world. In most cases, I love every aspect of a woman. Can one have a addiction to women?

I am very open on discussions about any subject. This is not always a good thing. But honesty is important. If you are bothered by what I say...then don't ask. :)

I love to cook! I truly enjoy cooking for people. Watching people eat one of my creations from the stove or grill is very cool. This makes me happy.

I love a good party! Makes it even better when others do the same. I haven't puked naked....but I've been naked....in the rain....early in the morning....with women. ;)

I enjoy visiting with people I don't know. Freaky but true. Maybe it's networking maybe it's not...regardless it's fun to hear from other people. I'm no stalker....at least that's what my court order said. KIDDING!

There you go.....sex things about me....I mean six.


MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Martini - you always make me ...


I'd eat your food.

Kim Rossi Stagliano said...

No self respecting female A) sits on a toilet. I owe my toned thighs to the public toilet squat

B) Flushes with her hand. Always use your foot!

C) Goes #2 outside of her home unless a) giving birth, b) in a separate hotel lobby bsthroom, c) giving birth.

Sorry, those are the rules.

Amanda said...

So there's ANOTHER amanda out there commenting on your blog! Have we confused you yet? Maybe I should swing by her blog and say Hi!

A factoid about me - well, I gave birth to daughter no.2 on the kitchen floor with nothing more than a paramedic on the only day of the year it snowed. Daughter no.1 took three days of labour to arrive so we were stil arguing over who was making the toast and marmite when WHOA! what's that round my ankles?!

Martini said...

It's like .....
you had to....


MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

It's because...
you get me...


Martini said...

Hmmm...now the intrique thickens.

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Dude, it's intrigue.

: )

Sarah said...

Twatwaffle? OMG ... ROFLMAO .... Topped with a bit of babybutter?? (gag)

Martini said...

I stand corrected.


MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Ooh, don't be sad, everyone knows I'm a grammatical Nazi.

I still heart you in a friendly flirty banterish way, you know that! : )

PS--Nice tie.

Martini said...

" friendly flirty banterish way " .... so many f's leaves a person tongue tied.

Thanks....about the tie.

What is everyone thinking?

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Nobody's reading these comments.

Martini said...

Maybe we freaked everyone out? Or it could be it's like a book where everyone's on the edge of their seats waiting for the next chapter!

cubmommy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
cubmommy said...

Dudes, I am waiting for the next comment. I am fascinated but then again I am bored. So please go on!

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Cubmommy, you posted it twice, but then deleted one. You are excited! And I know you! You're cute. You want in on this? I bet Martini would be into a threesome! LOL!

Donna said...

Hey, did you catch Michael Johns performance last night. OMG - hot, hot hot! LOL.

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Donna! Did I catch his performance?? Aside from flirtatious banter with my boy Martini (may I call you 'my boy? : ) all day, I have also been swooning over the recap of Michael's performance on youtube...
Man, I don't want it to be RIGHT!!!!

You should have read the IMs flying between Swishy and me all afternoon over Michael John's sooooo hot!

Martini said...

Did someone say threesome?

Yes....please refer to me as you wish.

Back to the threesome......

Kate said...

I see that all the fun happens while I'm off working my butt off, teaching the youth of America. Okay, I was showing them movies. ;)

Flibberty said...

Dude, you're hilarious! Love it.

I feel the same way about the hair/comb situation, but my hair is very blonde, so I delude myself into believing that if I can't see it, it doesn't exist. However, my fiance's hair is dark brown, and it grosses me out to see it in the shower, or the sink, or anywhere. This is the main reason we will forever have 2 bathrooms.

Tanya said...

I have way too much hair, it covers my bathroom floor. How's this for gross and embarrassing? I can drag my hand cross the bathroom carpet and grab as much dead hair as is in my hairbrush. Its so gross, but unless I chop off my locks, its not going to stop.

cubmommy said...

On the threesome, I don't share.

Anonymous said...

" That mungy moist twatwaffle."

I must find a way to use that one!

Anonymous said...

Bless you Manic. You're the bomb. I'll have to come back to this exercise, but I do have one unimportant fact, which is that I apparently look like Ronald Reagan.

I'm sorry that Straight Man didn't do it for you! But you do realize you're screwing up my near perfect record with recommending that book, don't you?