Oh.
My.
Gosh.
In case you didn't know, my boyfriend, Michael Johns, of American Idol, voted off. Partially my fault since I didn't call in to vote for him.
Shocked. Utterly. You should have seen me with my mouth gaping open. Stunned.
Mr. Manic said, "How are you holding up over there mama?"
Not good. Not good at all.
My poor, poor Michael.
Mr. Manic just asked if I was crying and told the kids to come comfort me telling them "her crush got voted off."
Season's over for me. Boycott.
OK, more...
Mr. Manic and I are in the office and I said, "Well, I guess I won't be watching anymore. It's OK though, it's just like if you were watching your favorite basketball team in the Final Four and they lose."
And Mr. Manic said, "Yeah, but I don't want to fuck my favorite team."
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Who's A Good Mom?
OK, so since Michael Johns was a bit of a disappointment last night in his ascot, vest, and much too short and butt-bulging-not-in-a-flattering-way pants, we'll just move right along here on Manic Mom to better things, like the winner of the You're a Good Mom contest!
I asked author, Jen Singer, to go through the comments to pick a winner, and she emailed me back with her first choice for a winner:
"I like anonymous and the cereal."
This was the exact comment posted:
Anonymous said...
Many years ago when my children were young, the neighbor kids from across the street popped in around dinner time. (Those days kids and neighbors "popped in" at any time). The 5 year old little girl looked at the meal my darlings were eating and said to me "Don't they ever get a hot meal for dinner?" I answered, "Yes, at night I heat up the milk for their cereal!"
You ready for this way classic turn of ironic events?
The anonymous poster was MY MOM!
My mother was talking about ME and the FOOD she used to SERVE my brothers and sister and ME for dinner! And Jen didn't know this and Jen thought it was the best SLACKERISTIC answer out of the bunch!
And the story about the girl asking her if we ate hot food ever was TOTALLY TRUE! And we are still family friends with the girl who asked my mother that!
I told Jen it would be a big bad case of nepotism if I announced that my MOTHER had won for the BEST SLACKER contest, but how appropriate is THAT??
I called my mom right away and she was screaming hysterically over the thought that she could actually win one of my contests! Then she said she will graciously bow out of the contest and she can just read my copy of the book when she's here in May, babysitting my kids and feeding them Captain Crunch for dinner while Mr. Manic and I are on vacation.
Once a Slacker Mom, always a Slacker Mom! Love you Mom! You're the best Slacker Mom in the whole world, and you raised me Riggity Right!
So, RUNNER UP winner of the contest is none other than MT for being this cool of a SLACKER MOM:
MT said...
One of the things that I have taught my kids is how to use Febreeze when mom "forgets" to do their laundry. I can't even honestly say that I have taught them. They have seen me do it so many times they think it's normal!! Sorry, some nights America's Next Top Model is just too good. Laundry can wait.
So, MT, email me at manicmommy@blogspot.com so I can get you your book! Congratulations!
Coming up very soon--Manic meets up in Chicago with this blogger, and this blogger, but sadly, and surely, because it is beyond their control, will not be going to see Oprah with them, even though it is her birthday!
Peace UP!
I asked author, Jen Singer, to go through the comments to pick a winner, and she emailed me back with her first choice for a winner:
"I like anonymous and the cereal."
This was the exact comment posted:
Anonymous said...
Many years ago when my children were young, the neighbor kids from across the street popped in around dinner time. (Those days kids and neighbors "popped in" at any time). The 5 year old little girl looked at the meal my darlings were eating and said to me "Don't they ever get a hot meal for dinner?" I answered, "Yes, at night I heat up the milk for their cereal!"
You ready for this way classic turn of ironic events?
The anonymous poster was MY MOM!
My mother was talking about ME and the FOOD she used to SERVE my brothers and sister and ME for dinner! And Jen didn't know this and Jen thought it was the best SLACKERISTIC answer out of the bunch!
And the story about the girl asking her if we ate hot food ever was TOTALLY TRUE! And we are still family friends with the girl who asked my mother that!
I told Jen it would be a big bad case of nepotism if I announced that my MOTHER had won for the BEST SLACKER contest, but how appropriate is THAT??
I called my mom right away and she was screaming hysterically over the thought that she could actually win one of my contests! Then she said she will graciously bow out of the contest and she can just read my copy of the book when she's here in May, babysitting my kids and feeding them Captain Crunch for dinner while Mr. Manic and I are on vacation.
Once a Slacker Mom, always a Slacker Mom! Love you Mom! You're the best Slacker Mom in the whole world, and you raised me Riggity Right!
So, RUNNER UP winner of the contest is none other than MT for being this cool of a SLACKER MOM:
MT said...
One of the things that I have taught my kids is how to use Febreeze when mom "forgets" to do their laundry. I can't even honestly say that I have taught them. They have seen me do it so many times they think it's normal!! Sorry, some nights America's Next Top Model is just too good. Laundry can wait.
So, MT, email me at manicmommy@blogspot.com so I can get you your book! Congratulations!
Coming up very soon--Manic meets up in Chicago with this blogger, and this blogger, but sadly, and surely, because it is beyond their control, will not be going to see Oprah with them, even though it is her birthday!
Peace UP!
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
American Idol and My Sexy Boy!
UPDATE: Maybe a teeny bit o' live blogging below, cuz it's raining and soccer got canceled!
Due tosoccer, homework, dinner, laundry, work, the usual things in life I need to be focused on unforeseen circumstances, I probably won't be Live Blogging American Idol tonight. Plus, they've got Idol Gives Back tomorrow, and then when they kick off Kristy Lee Cook or Syesha somebody on Thursday, I will be attempting to be Super Mom attending a soccer game for one kid, a soccer practice for another in a completely different direction, and a guitar lesson for another, so I won't be able to Live Blog on Thursday for sure. Thank God the kids didn't want to do softball and baseball this season, or else I'd never get to blog!
And YOU dare call me a Slacker Mom.
Speaking of, there's still time to enter the contest for Jen Singer's You're a Good Mom. A winner will be chosen on Wednesday.
Whoops! And speaking of GOOD MOMS, check out My Two Army Brats. Michelle is not a good mom; she's a GREAT MOM! She was one of the first donors in the Manic Mom Virtual Blood drive and now she's spearheading a Relay For Life (where she got 20 people to donate blood in 4 hours!) Go Michelle! And while you're at her blog, you'll see Snarkalicious is still promotin' the Ta-Ta's for her Boob-A-Thon! So many causes, so little time! Talk about some Great Moms!
And not to worry, I'm sure there will be some swooning follow-up regarding what I am sure will be a heart-palpitating, knees-rubbing-together, palms-sweating, wish-I-was-locked-in-a-room-alone-with-you-so-I-could-bite-off-that-sexy-lower-lip-of-yours performance bymy boyfriend Michael Johns!
OK couldn't keep me away from a little bit o' live blogging. But Michael up first!? That is like NO FOREPLAY! There's no time for me to get all jazzed up, warmed up for the main event! That's like sex without the orgasm. Wham, bam, no thank you ma'am. And what is up with his stupid neck thingies and ascots? Get rid of his stylist.
OMG, could Manic be falling out of lust?
So now that he's done, there's nothing else for me to watch? Paula's chiwauwaus jiggling all over the place? I don't think so.
OK, Jason, I almost want to go watch Wizard of Oz. You hit that one out of the park. Admittedly, wasn't sure about the ukelele at first, but that sweet little shaveless face of yours... hmmm... no ascot... my new fave?
Me to Ajers: Who's up next?
Ajers: Kristy Lee.
Me: Oh, doesn't matter, she's getting kicked off this week anyway.
So I check her out anyway; she's got a strategy though--she throws out those God songs in order to up her chances. Have you noticed that?
OK, I LOVED Simon after what he said about Jason being Fantastic but now I hate him for not loving David Cook. When he finished his performance, I yelled out, "HE IS A ROCK STAR!"
Come on, was that not GREAT!?!? Yes, a little bit Eddie Vedderesque with the writing on the hand, but way cool I thought! I'd like to Give Back something to a couple of them boys!
Carly's going for that rock star image Simon so wants to see her in, but frankly, she reminds me of Cher's little sister, don't you think? I thought the song was good though. Hey, the show must go on.
I'll just quote Mr. Manic on David Archuletta's performance: "I think he just crushed it." Ditto, dude. Ditto.
Who do we have left? Brooke?
Line of the night: Simon on Brooke's "You've got a Friend"... "Was it original? No. Was it pleasant? Yes. Thank you.
What do you all think?
Who's out Thursday?
Due to
And YOU dare call me a Slacker Mom.
Speaking of, there's still time to enter the contest for Jen Singer's You're a Good Mom. A winner will be chosen on Wednesday.
Whoops! And speaking of GOOD MOMS, check out My Two Army Brats. Michelle is not a good mom; she's a GREAT MOM! She was one of the first donors in the Manic Mom Virtual Blood drive and now she's spearheading a Relay For Life (where she got 20 people to donate blood in 4 hours!) Go Michelle! And while you're at her blog, you'll see Snarkalicious is still promotin' the Ta-Ta's for her Boob-A-Thon! So many causes, so little time! Talk about some Great Moms!
And not to worry, I'm sure there will be some swooning follow-up regarding what I am sure will be a heart-palpitating, knees-rubbing-together, palms-sweating, wish-I-was-locked-in-a-room-alone-with-you-so-I-could-bite-off-that-sexy-lower-lip-of-yours performance by
OK couldn't keep me away from a little bit o' live blogging. But Michael up first!? That is like NO FOREPLAY! There's no time for me to get all jazzed up, warmed up for the main event! That's like sex without the orgasm. Wham, bam, no thank you ma'am. And what is up with his stupid neck thingies and ascots? Get rid of his stylist.
OMG, could Manic be falling out of lust?
So now that he's done, there's nothing else for me to watch? Paula's chiwauwaus jiggling all over the place? I don't think so.
OK, Jason, I almost want to go watch Wizard of Oz. You hit that one out of the park. Admittedly, wasn't sure about the ukelele at first, but that sweet little shaveless face of yours... hmmm... no ascot... my new fave?
Me to Ajers: Who's up next?
Ajers: Kristy Lee.
Me: Oh, doesn't matter, she's getting kicked off this week anyway.
So I check her out anyway; she's got a strategy though--she throws out those God songs in order to up her chances. Have you noticed that?
OK, I LOVED Simon after what he said about Jason being Fantastic but now I hate him for not loving David Cook. When he finished his performance, I yelled out, "HE IS A ROCK STAR!"
Come on, was that not GREAT!?!? Yes, a little bit Eddie Vedderesque with the writing on the hand, but way cool I thought! I'd like to Give Back something to a couple of them boys!
Carly's going for that rock star image Simon so wants to see her in, but frankly, she reminds me of Cher's little sister, don't you think? I thought the song was good though. Hey, the show must go on.
I'll just quote Mr. Manic on David Archuletta's performance: "I think he just crushed it." Ditto, dude. Ditto.
Who do we have left? Brooke?
Line of the night: Simon on Brooke's "You've got a Friend"... "Was it original? No. Was it pleasant? Yes. Thank you.
What do you all think?
Who's out Thursday?
Sunday, April 06, 2008
I Admit To Slackerism as a Mom
Here's a perfect example to back up the case that I am a Classic Slacker Mom.
TRUE Real conversation, and please don't leave comments about what a horrible mother I am for saying these things to my children ...
Day Four of Spring Break, the kids were yelling at each other like they typically did every day of the break. I was upstairs and we have an open section where I can conveniently lean over the railing to
Me: "YOU KNOW WHAT!?!?!?"
(They all looked up at me as I stood there red-faced in my towel ready to blow a gasket--mind you, it was the first shower I had taken all Spring Break.)
"STOP IT OR I'M GOING TO FREAK MY BALLS OFF!"
Silence for a couple of seconds, then Tukey looked up and asked:
"You have balls?"
Me: "I'M GOING TO GROW SOME AND THEN FREAK 'EM OFF!"
Now, I know I'm truly not a 100-percent slacker mom, maybe just a 78-percent slacker mom. And none of you are truly 100-percent slackers, but we have our good days and our bad days, right? To honor the slacker mom in all of us, and to celebrate the SUPER moms in all of us, I am awesomely proud to present an author whom I truly do consider a good cyber-friend of mine, and if I were still living on the East Coast, I am sure we would have met by now!
I have corresponded with Jen Singer from waaaaaaaay back when. Like from so long ago, I can't even remember the moment I first stalked her or what it was about, but you can bet I contacted her about something mom-related cuz she is the BOMB and she has her SHITOLA together and knows what is going on!
And she's just written her second book, “You’re a Good Mom (and Your Kids Aren’t So Bad Either”). Jen's first book was the hilarious and aptly titled, "14 Hours Til Bedtime."
Check out the trailer to “You’re a Good Mom:
Do you sense what's coming?
Yes! ANOTHER DAMN GIVEAWAY FROM MANIC, courtesy of Jen and her publisher, Sourcebooks.
Leave a comment on one of your most "Slackerish" Mom Moments (you know, letting them eat waffles for dinner, skip brushing their teeth, or play the Wii till their eyeballs drop out of their heads), and the one that cracks us up the most will win a copy of Jen's new book because deep down, we all know You're a Good Mom!
But act fast, cuz I might try to be Super Mom this week and get laundry done or some meals on the table, or make it to soccer practices on time, or pay some bills, or get some questions answered on Just Another Manic Mommy at BC.com so I might have to shorten the time limit for this contest ... try to get your entries into the comment section by Wednesday!
Thanks Jen! We love you! The perfect blend of Slacker/Super Mom! Keep making us laugh!
Thursday, April 03, 2008
A Pregnant Man, and Much Much More!
So, this guy’s pregnant, but he’s really a girl inside, because he was born a girl, and he’s got all his girly parts, but he lopped off his ta-ta’s so sure, (Speaking of ta-ta’s run over to Snarkalicious really quick—you’ll ALL thank me!)
So, this girl was born a guy and had her ta-ta’s removed, so they’re not there anymore, but the indoor plumbing’s still active, so why not just house a fetus? Why not get on Oprah and have People tell your story? Why not be the first “man” to have a baby?
Did you all see this show?
First, before I talk about this, can you all do me one quick favor? Oops, one OTHER quick favor cuz if you already went to Snarkalicious, that was the first favor, but I promise you these are all for great causes! Anyway, If you are a mom, or about to become a mom, would you please go over to one of my new favorite hangouts, BettyConfidential and take this really quick survey. It’s very quick. I promise. Have I lied to you lately?
Did He Want You Pregnant Sooner Than You Were Ready To Be Pregnant?
Here's the survey, right here:
MAKING-BABY PRESSURE!
My answer to that question was a big old FAT YES! Mr. Manic wanted to knock me up so far into yesterday before I was ready it wasn’t even funny. But I wasn’t ready. So I would just fake my orgasm, tell him I loved him, roll over, and go to sleep. Hah, just kidding. A woman doesn’t need an orgasm to get pregnant! But, a man needs to have one to impregnate a woman. Well, usually, unless a teeny bit of semen seeps out, but those would have to be really strong swimmers.
Anyway, did you take the survey? Thank YOU! Thank you, thank you, thank you! So, did your spouse, partner, significant “otre” pressure you into having a baby when you weren’t quite ready?
And what is UP with that girl/guy who is pregnant on Oprah? I did agree when he/she said it is every human’s biological right to reproduce. I get that. I do. Really. But I had a hard time accepting that he wants to be a man but also have a baby. That’s definitely having your cake and eating it too. Talk about Hannah Montana “Best of Both Worlds.” Huh? Did I just say that? Let me remind you I just had a week and a half of the flu bug raging through the house and now we are on Spring Break. The TV’s been on a lot.
I am trying to understand this gu’all. That’s what I’m going to call him/her now. A guall. Like a guy/girl. He lopped off his boobs. Took testosterone to make his clitoris grow into a teeny-weeny weenie, so he could have sex with his wife, who consequently has had a hysterectomy. And now they are having a baby together. Whacked out.
Was I watching Oprah or Jerry?
I have a headache.
I don’t feel like discussing that subject any longer so I would like to hear from you, the VIEWERS, in the comments please.
And, hey, maybe he was trying to let us women know we are not alone, to get a real feel for how it is for us when we go through pregnancy. Like this guy did!
You can read all about how Darren, sweet man that he is, wore the male version of the pregnancy belly for a mere 24-hours (sorry Darren for saying mere, while I respect you to PIECES for your gallantness--double-parenthesis as I ask myself if ‘gallantness’ is a real word but see there is no squiggly line underneath--you can ask any woman who has made it through the whole nine months of pregnancy and while I am certain you are WAAAAAY better and more sympathetic/empathetic than 99.9999999999999999999¾ percent of the whole male population when it comes to understanding pregnancy, I will not worship a man as being completely understanding of pregnancy, ever, not even the so-called man giving birth from the Oprah show, cuz that guy-girl, in my book, is not a man, until a man can completely go through every facet of Pregnancy Joy and Utter Bliss.
I’m just sorry you underprivileged species will never get to experience the one trueness of what it is like to be the bearer of all good and whole. Man, do I sound snark-i-bitchy or what?!
But, for those of you who want to read Darren’s fun and right-on-target with the uncomfortableness factor of being pregnant, his online 24-hour diary can be read HERE.
Thanks for taking the survey you guys! Thanks for humoring me with your thoughts on this gu’all who is pregnant and having a baby.
I NEED A BLOG BREAK!
Coming up:
I will be mailing out the Jennifer Weiner books probably THIS weekend. Sorry it’s taken me so long, and Shelley, I am almost done with Certain Girls! I felt kind of bad today though; I brought it into a public bathroom with me, and thought of that Seinfeld episode when George took a book into the bathroom with him. You still want it though, right?
Live Blogging on American Idol next Tuesday. I see there is a show on Wed and Thursday as well. Who's up for Live Blogging with me?
Three new book giveaways are coming up by these great authors so check out their websites and read up on them so you can enter the giveaways—they’ll be easy contests! Apologies in advance to the one anonymous reader who no longer reads because she got mad at me for self-promoting and holding too many contests. I hope you found some other blogs you can better relate to.
Jen Singer's You're A Good Mom
Kelly McMasters' Welcome To Shirley
Trish Ryan's He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not
And a fun Momesque t-shirt giveaway from LTDCHIX.com headed your way in honor of celebrating my BIRTHDAY!
Stay TUNED, Stay Manic! I will if you will!
And if you see Michael Johns, tell him I'll let him carry my baby for me!
Peace UP!
So, this girl was born a guy and had her ta-ta’s removed, so they’re not there anymore, but the indoor plumbing’s still active, so why not just house a fetus? Why not get on Oprah and have People tell your story? Why not be the first “man” to have a baby?
Did you all see this show?
First, before I talk about this, can you all do me one quick favor? Oops, one OTHER quick favor cuz if you already went to Snarkalicious, that was the first favor, but I promise you these are all for great causes! Anyway, If you are a mom, or about to become a mom, would you please go over to one of my new favorite hangouts, BettyConfidential and take this really quick survey. It’s very quick. I promise. Have I lied to you lately?
Did He Want You Pregnant Sooner Than You Were Ready To Be Pregnant?
Here's the survey, right here:
MAKING-BABY PRESSURE!
My answer to that question was a big old FAT YES! Mr. Manic wanted to knock me up so far into yesterday before I was ready it wasn’t even funny. But I wasn’t ready. So I would just fake my orgasm, tell him I loved him, roll over, and go to sleep. Hah, just kidding. A woman doesn’t need an orgasm to get pregnant! But, a man needs to have one to impregnate a woman. Well, usually, unless a teeny bit of semen seeps out, but those would have to be really strong swimmers.
Anyway, did you take the survey? Thank YOU! Thank you, thank you, thank you! So, did your spouse, partner, significant “otre” pressure you into having a baby when you weren’t quite ready?
And what is UP with that girl/guy who is pregnant on Oprah? I did agree when he/she said it is every human’s biological right to reproduce. I get that. I do. Really. But I had a hard time accepting that he wants to be a man but also have a baby. That’s definitely having your cake and eating it too. Talk about Hannah Montana “Best of Both Worlds.” Huh? Did I just say that? Let me remind you I just had a week and a half of the flu bug raging through the house and now we are on Spring Break. The TV’s been on a lot.
I am trying to understand this gu’all. That’s what I’m going to call him/her now. A guall. Like a guy/girl. He lopped off his boobs. Took testosterone to make his clitoris grow into a teeny-weeny weenie, so he could have sex with his wife, who consequently has had a hysterectomy. And now they are having a baby together. Whacked out.
Was I watching Oprah or Jerry?
I have a headache.
I don’t feel like discussing that subject any longer so I would like to hear from you, the VIEWERS, in the comments please.
And, hey, maybe he was trying to let us women know we are not alone, to get a real feel for how it is for us when we go through pregnancy. Like this guy did!
You can read all about how Darren, sweet man that he is, wore the male version of the pregnancy belly for a mere 24-hours (sorry Darren for saying mere, while I respect you to PIECES for your gallantness--double-parenthesis as I ask myself if ‘gallantness’ is a real word but see there is no squiggly line underneath--you can ask any woman who has made it through the whole nine months of pregnancy and while I am certain you are WAAAAAY better and more sympathetic/empathetic than 99.9999999999999999999¾ percent of the whole male population when it comes to understanding pregnancy, I will not worship a man as being completely understanding of pregnancy, ever, not even the so-called man giving birth from the Oprah show, cuz that guy-girl, in my book, is not a man, until a man can completely go through every facet of Pregnancy Joy and Utter Bliss.
I’m just sorry you underprivileged species will never get to experience the one trueness of what it is like to be the bearer of all good and whole. Man, do I sound snark-i-bitchy or what?!
But, for those of you who want to read Darren’s fun and right-on-target with the uncomfortableness factor of being pregnant, his online 24-hour diary can be read HERE.
Thanks for taking the survey you guys! Thanks for humoring me with your thoughts on this gu’all who is pregnant and having a baby.
I NEED A BLOG BREAK!
Coming up:
I will be mailing out the Jennifer Weiner books probably THIS weekend. Sorry it’s taken me so long, and Shelley, I am almost done with Certain Girls! I felt kind of bad today though; I brought it into a public bathroom with me, and thought of that Seinfeld episode when George took a book into the bathroom with him. You still want it though, right?
Live Blogging on American Idol next Tuesday. I see there is a show on Wed and Thursday as well. Who's up for Live Blogging with me?
Three new book giveaways are coming up by these great authors so check out their websites and read up on them so you can enter the giveaways—they’ll be easy contests! Apologies in advance to the one anonymous reader who no longer reads because she got mad at me for self-promoting and holding too many contests. I hope you found some other blogs you can better relate to.
Jen Singer's You're A Good Mom
Kelly McMasters' Welcome To Shirley
Trish Ryan's He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not
And a fun Momesque t-shirt giveaway from LTDCHIX.com headed your way in honor of celebrating my BIRTHDAY!
Stay TUNED, Stay Manic! I will if you will!
And if you see Michael Johns, tell him I'll let him carry my baby for me!
Peace UP!
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Blogging Live American Idol!!!
He's Hot, He's Hot, He's Hot! And he's safe!
If it's ALLLLLLLLLLLL wrong, I don't want it to be right!
Could he USE me for a while?
UH HUH!!!!!!!!!!!
So, the show JUST started and they bring out Michael FIRST. Mr. Manic is saying, "We have to get rid of him so I can have Mommy back."
But he is SAFE!
Now AJers just came downstairs and asked, "Who's still on American Idol?"
Mr. Manic says, "David Archuletta, Carly, and Mom's boyfriend."
See! Even my HUSBAND knows he's MY BOYFRIEND!!!!
I just said, "OMG, if he was right here, I do not know if I would be able to hold back. I might just have to kiss him."
Mr. Manic said, "I would let you kiss him on the cheek."
"I would not be able to stop there."
The kids were all like EWWWW.
OK, so now I'm totally bored with the show cuz some country dudes are singing and that's all for my guy. THIS SUCKS! BORING SHOW! But you know, Simon is kinda cute in a dirty boy kind of way, and Swishy and I have discussed the Simon Sandwich if you get what I mean? Uh huh. Yes we did.
Besides, I would not be able to share my Michael sandwhich.
~ ~ ~
More:
Tukey just came in--
Tukey: Mom, if you could ask an idol a question, but you could not choose Michael Johns, who would you choose to ask a question to?
Me: David Cook.
Tukey: I knew it!
Me: And I would ask him ABOUT MICHAEL JOHNS!
OK--David Cook's up next: SOFA SAFETY! And high blood pressure. The stress of it all. I can understand.
Ramiele--STOOL. She deserves it. Weak performer. She's like a puppy dog that deserves to be kicked, and NO puppy dog deserves to be kicked. THAT'S how badly she deserves to be kicked.
Christy Lee Cook--Stool, but I loved her makeup last night. I'm voting Ramiele the weakest link to date.
OK! Commercial update! I don't know exactly what Simon said to Carly about her clothes last night, but that apology and the way he winks every now and then... I think he might want her OUT OF HER CLOTHES! He said she was very CUTE! Simon's got a cru-uuusssh! Simon's got a cru-ussssh!!
And yeah, the clip of Phil Stacey from last season. Well, I TOUCHED him at the American Idol tour last year. TOUCHED HIM! He gained some weight since the tour, didn't he? But he's still cute. Nice facial hair. I like a little facial hair. And David Cook's new facial hair--definitely a plus. He looks rock-star hot.
Ramiele is out. My prediction. It is 8:37 p.m. and that is my prediction. Watch. Well, I don't know. Depends on how many friends she has voting. Could be Kristy Lee.
(Maybe this would have been more fun had I announced I was gonna do a Live American Idol blog post? Then we could all be commenting TOGETHER rather than me sitting her live blogging with no one reading!)
Ooh! It's back on, but I bet Dolly-Fake-Tits-and-Everything-Else is probably singing next...
Nope we're just talking Idol Gives Back, and Mr. Manic is telling the kids, "Now you know how good you kids got it. How would you like THAT to be your life?!" Free lessons courtesy of Ryan Seacrest. Thank you Ryan. How much of your millions do YOU donate Big Time TV star man?
Now here comes Dolly Parton. I'm at least going to go peek at her outfit...OK, so she's singing about 'something lifting her up' and I go, "Something's lifting her up allright" and AJer's starts cracking up. And then the song talks about gravity... helloooo, it ain't gravity keeping those triple-quadruple boobs in place. And is she actually singing about Jesus? Is she THANKING Him for her BOOBS?
WHERE IS MY MICHAEL JOHNS!?!?!?!
Mr. Manic just adlibbed this from Dolly as she was speaking to Ryan: "Just don't touch my hair, face, microphone or breasts cuz it could all fall off at a minute's notice."
When I started cracking up at that, he asked, "Are you gonna go blog that?"
He so gets me.
Back in a moment to see who the latest American Idol Outcast is.
RAMIELE
OK, I almost feel sorry for her. And for the things I said.
Almost.
Like how I feel sorry for ice skaters when they're doing their triple-axles or their triple-sauckows and they stumble and almost fall but then they pull themselves together but not before they look like a bumbling fool and you're watching and you automatically shield your eyes cuz you're embarrassed for them for making a mistake. Well, that's kinda how I feel for her.
But hey, she gets to go on tour.
WITH MICHAEL! The lucky little girl!
Here's my prediction for the last four standing:
David Cook
David Archuletta
Carly
My boyfriend
Take that one to Vegas and bet on it baby!
This has been a live American Idol blog post brought to you by Manic Mommy.
Peace UP!
If it's ALLLLLLLLLLLL wrong, I don't want it to be right!
Could he USE me for a while?
UH HUH!!!!!!!!!!!
So, the show JUST started and they bring out Michael FIRST. Mr. Manic is saying, "We have to get rid of him so I can have Mommy back."
But he is SAFE!
Now AJers just came downstairs and asked, "Who's still on American Idol?"
Mr. Manic says, "David Archuletta, Carly, and Mom's boyfriend."
See! Even my HUSBAND knows he's MY BOYFRIEND!!!!
I just said, "OMG, if he was right here, I do not know if I would be able to hold back. I might just have to kiss him."
Mr. Manic said, "I would let you kiss him on the cheek."
"I would not be able to stop there."
The kids were all like EWWWW.
OK, so now I'm totally bored with the show cuz some country dudes are singing and that's all for my guy. THIS SUCKS! BORING SHOW! But you know, Simon is kinda cute in a dirty boy kind of way, and Swishy and I have discussed the Simon Sandwich if you get what I mean? Uh huh. Yes we did.
Besides, I would not be able to share my Michael sandwhich.
~ ~ ~
More:
Tukey just came in--
Tukey: Mom, if you could ask an idol a question, but you could not choose Michael Johns, who would you choose to ask a question to?
Me: David Cook.
Tukey: I knew it!
Me: And I would ask him ABOUT MICHAEL JOHNS!
OK--David Cook's up next: SOFA SAFETY! And high blood pressure. The stress of it all. I can understand.
Ramiele--STOOL. She deserves it. Weak performer. She's like a puppy dog that deserves to be kicked, and NO puppy dog deserves to be kicked. THAT'S how badly she deserves to be kicked.
Christy Lee Cook--Stool, but I loved her makeup last night. I'm voting Ramiele the weakest link to date.
OK! Commercial update! I don't know exactly what Simon said to Carly about her clothes last night, but that apology and the way he winks every now and then... I think he might want her OUT OF HER CLOTHES! He said she was very CUTE! Simon's got a cru-uuusssh! Simon's got a cru-ussssh!!
And yeah, the clip of Phil Stacey from last season. Well, I TOUCHED him at the American Idol tour last year. TOUCHED HIM! He gained some weight since the tour, didn't he? But he's still cute. Nice facial hair. I like a little facial hair. And David Cook's new facial hair--definitely a plus. He looks rock-star hot.
Ramiele is out. My prediction. It is 8:37 p.m. and that is my prediction. Watch. Well, I don't know. Depends on how many friends she has voting. Could be Kristy Lee.
(Maybe this would have been more fun had I announced I was gonna do a Live American Idol blog post? Then we could all be commenting TOGETHER rather than me sitting her live blogging with no one reading!)
Ooh! It's back on, but I bet Dolly-Fake-Tits-and-Everything-Else is probably singing next...
Nope we're just talking Idol Gives Back, and Mr. Manic is telling the kids, "Now you know how good you kids got it. How would you like THAT to be your life?!" Free lessons courtesy of Ryan Seacrest. Thank you Ryan. How much of your millions do YOU donate Big Time TV star man?
Now here comes Dolly Parton. I'm at least going to go peek at her outfit...OK, so she's singing about 'something lifting her up' and I go, "Something's lifting her up allright" and AJer's starts cracking up. And then the song talks about gravity... helloooo, it ain't gravity keeping those triple-quadruple boobs in place. And is she actually singing about Jesus? Is she THANKING Him for her BOOBS?
WHERE IS MY MICHAEL JOHNS!?!?!?!
Mr. Manic just adlibbed this from Dolly as she was speaking to Ryan: "Just don't touch my hair, face, microphone or breasts cuz it could all fall off at a minute's notice."
When I started cracking up at that, he asked, "Are you gonna go blog that?"
He so gets me.
Back in a moment to see who the latest American Idol Outcast is.
RAMIELE
OK, I almost feel sorry for her. And for the things I said.
Almost.
Like how I feel sorry for ice skaters when they're doing their triple-axles or their triple-sauckows and they stumble and almost fall but then they pull themselves together but not before they look like a bumbling fool and you're watching and you automatically shield your eyes cuz you're embarrassed for them for making a mistake. Well, that's kinda how I feel for her.
But hey, she gets to go on tour.
WITH MICHAEL! The lucky little girl!
Here's my prediction for the last four standing:
David Cook
David Archuletta
Carly
My boyfriend
Take that one to Vegas and bet on it baby!
This has been a live American Idol blog post brought to you by Manic Mommy.
Peace UP!
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
You Know I Hate Tags
OK, so the pressure is ON. Eat a truffle off the floor in front of Jen Lancaster and then show her book cover on the series premiere of Booking With Manic and all of a sudden you’re tagged for a meme!
Jen, like you, I don't dig these memes, and I never do them, but for you! Anything!
So, here goes:
1. Link back to the person who tagged you.
2. Post these rules on your blog.
3. Share six unimportant things about yourself.
4. Tag six random people at the end of your entry.
* * * Six Unimportant Things about Manic Mommy -- for some of these I’m going for the gross-out factor!
1--I am not afraid to use the bathroom when I have to use the bathroom. Target, Walmart, Panera. If I gots to go, I gots to go. I had this discussion the other day with a friend. How some people will say, “Oh, I can’t wait to get home from vacation so I can just go to the bathroom.” WTF!? You hold it in for seven days! Now that’s sick. Find a toilet and use it. That’s what they’re there for. However, I refuse to go au natural like a certain friend of mine who may or may not be out jogging on occasion and feel the need to release her bowels in the wilderness. Or behind their neighborhood’s stately entryway announcing the name of their subdivision. Now THAT is just sicko.
2--I guess we’re just going with the bodily function theme here for a moment cuz the next thing I feel like sharing is this: During a one 24-hour period time in my life, I managed to vomit in four modes of transportation:
A cruise ship
A bus
A plane
A car
In that order.
During this same 24-hour time frame, I also vomited in probably a sink, toilet, the grass, and an ice bucket. Want proof?
There are photos of me throwing up in the ice bucket, sitting Indian style, the bucket between my legs. And I am nekkid. You have Mr. Manic to thank for that. When he returned to our cabin from the midnight pizza buffet, he thought the photos would make a great vacation memento.
3—Back to the bathroom theme. After I take a shower, while still in my towel, I lean backward over the sink and comb my hair so the hairs don’t fall all over the floor because that drives me crazy. I lose a lot of strands of hair when I comb my hair. Then I will roll all the loose (and yes, that is LOOSE, not lose) hairs into a ball and throw them away. Because I am that anal. I will also, on occasion, unscrew the cap of the toothpaste and blow hot water through it to clean all the gunky stuck-on toothpaste that has accumulated there to make it nice and clean again. And, by the way, have you ever pulled out your sink clog thingy to look at how gross it can get? Do it. It’s really gross. Then get some Drano and let it soak in your sink and you’ll be amazed at how clean that thingy does get. It’s nasty. Especially if you have a spouse who shaves daily. That thing gets mungy. Do you know that word? Mungy. That's right up there with MOIST and Twatwaffle. That mungy moist twatwaffle. Use THAT in a sentence Jennsylvania readers!
4—I had this crush on Ajer’s baseball coach a few seasons ago and while this is probably really unimportant to you all, we ran into him in the FROZEN food section the other day. AND, I had on the same shirt as I was wearing the LAST time I saw him which was at one of Ajer’s basketball games like two months ago! YES! I remembered the shirt I was wearing! And the kids totally KNOW I am crushing on this man. THEY were nudging me and making eyes at me while I was trying to have a flirty conversation with hot baseball coach guy!
I even went home that night and confessed to Mr. Manic: “You know, if you ever ditched me, I think I would be brave enough to call up the old baseball coach and ask him out.” Yuh HUH! It’s not my regular grocery store either, but now I know where he shops!
You know how you have like fantasy crushes on say, Michael Johns? Well, Baseball Coach Dude is my real life crush. Too bad Ajers quit playing baseball.
5—I am just now thinking I could someday use a boob lift, but if given the choice of free money and the option to do anything I would want to do with my body to make it more appealing, I would probably go for some thigh/ass liposuction… nah, scratch that—I have seen how those thin sharp bands of steel are jabbed into the skin and shoved and prodded till the fat cells are crumbled all up. Nah, I think I would just take all that money and use it for facials and massages and extra yoga classes. THAT would make me feel really good!
6—I’m looking around trying to think of a number six. I’ve confessed, I’ve grossed out, I’ve shamed myself, embarrassed myself, mortified ... let’s see, what else is there to say? Something unimportant about me… It’s boring to say that I don’t think I have ever broken a bone in my body… I can tell you something kinda cool... that today, and this is no joke, today my sister and I are the EXACT SAME AGE! April Fool’s Day is my sister’s birthday and for two weeks she and I are the same age! We are Irish Twins, which means, if you are an Irish Twin, this means your mom liked to drink a lot and as soon as she could again after not being pregnant again, she did and then she got pregnant right away. Either that or she lent her younger sister her birth control pills so her younger sister wouldn't get pregnant and instead my mom got pregnant. Those are the two theories of how we Irish twins came to be! And on that note, one last thing I will share that’s unimportant, or maybe not … I have an IUD and I know how to use it! And… and… get this… it doesn’t expire until 2013!
Tah Dah! How’d I do!? Now, since I have opened up and torn out my soul to you all, as Jen Lancaster did, I am requesting that you all, even you anons, please share a tidbit of your life with me--something quirky, something shameful, something silly, something you might not share with anyone else in the whole wide world! Let's hear it! And for those who I must tag to share six things, I give you the following:
Swishy because she’s my BBFF.
Jim Cooney at Ink and Beans because he French kissed a giraffe so I'm sure he's got some more interesting things to share, plus his blog name is pretty darn cool!
Karyn at Pretty In the City because I haven't hung out with her in a while and want to see wuuuzzzzup!
Martini but I’m afraid he will not play our reindeer games.
Drewpy Drew because he will play in these reindeer games.
And Michelle Is The Best aka My Two Army Brats cuz her hubby is in Iraq for a long time and she’s at home with two little ones!
And for the rest of you, come on, dish a little bit and share some scoop with me!
Peace UP!
Jen, like you, I don't dig these memes, and I never do them, but for you! Anything!
So, here goes:
1. Link back to the person who tagged you.
2. Post these rules on your blog.
3. Share six unimportant things about yourself.
4. Tag six random people at the end of your entry.
* * * Six Unimportant Things about Manic Mommy -- for some of these I’m going for the gross-out factor!
1--I am not afraid to use the bathroom when I have to use the bathroom. Target, Walmart, Panera. If I gots to go, I gots to go. I had this discussion the other day with a friend. How some people will say, “Oh, I can’t wait to get home from vacation so I can just go to the bathroom.” WTF!? You hold it in for seven days! Now that’s sick. Find a toilet and use it. That’s what they’re there for. However, I refuse to go au natural like a certain friend of mine who may or may not be out jogging on occasion and feel the need to release her bowels in the wilderness. Or behind their neighborhood’s stately entryway announcing the name of their subdivision. Now THAT is just sicko.
2--I guess we’re just going with the bodily function theme here for a moment cuz the next thing I feel like sharing is this: During a one 24-hour period time in my life, I managed to vomit in four modes of transportation:
A cruise ship
A bus
A plane
A car
In that order.
During this same 24-hour time frame, I also vomited in probably a sink, toilet, the grass, and an ice bucket. Want proof?
There are photos of me throwing up in the ice bucket, sitting Indian style, the bucket between my legs. And I am nekkid. You have Mr. Manic to thank for that. When he returned to our cabin from the midnight pizza buffet, he thought the photos would make a great vacation memento.
3—Back to the bathroom theme. After I take a shower, while still in my towel, I lean backward over the sink and comb my hair so the hairs don’t fall all over the floor because that drives me crazy. I lose a lot of strands of hair when I comb my hair. Then I will roll all the loose (and yes, that is LOOSE, not lose) hairs into a ball and throw them away. Because I am that anal. I will also, on occasion, unscrew the cap of the toothpaste and blow hot water through it to clean all the gunky stuck-on toothpaste that has accumulated there to make it nice and clean again. And, by the way, have you ever pulled out your sink clog thingy to look at how gross it can get? Do it. It’s really gross. Then get some Drano and let it soak in your sink and you’ll be amazed at how clean that thingy does get. It’s nasty. Especially if you have a spouse who shaves daily. That thing gets mungy. Do you know that word? Mungy. That's right up there with MOIST and Twatwaffle. That mungy moist twatwaffle. Use THAT in a sentence Jennsylvania readers!
4—I had this crush on Ajer’s baseball coach a few seasons ago and while this is probably really unimportant to you all, we ran into him in the FROZEN food section the other day. AND, I had on the same shirt as I was wearing the LAST time I saw him which was at one of Ajer’s basketball games like two months ago! YES! I remembered the shirt I was wearing! And the kids totally KNOW I am crushing on this man. THEY were nudging me and making eyes at me while I was trying to have a flirty conversation with hot baseball coach guy!
I even went home that night and confessed to Mr. Manic: “You know, if you ever ditched me, I think I would be brave enough to call up the old baseball coach and ask him out.” Yuh HUH! It’s not my regular grocery store either, but now I know where he shops!
You know how you have like fantasy crushes on say, Michael Johns? Well, Baseball Coach Dude is my real life crush. Too bad Ajers quit playing baseball.
5—I am just now thinking I could someday use a boob lift, but if given the choice of free money and the option to do anything I would want to do with my body to make it more appealing, I would probably go for some thigh/ass liposuction… nah, scratch that—I have seen how those thin sharp bands of steel are jabbed into the skin and shoved and prodded till the fat cells are crumbled all up. Nah, I think I would just take all that money and use it for facials and massages and extra yoga classes. THAT would make me feel really good!
6—I’m looking around trying to think of a number six. I’ve confessed, I’ve grossed out, I’ve shamed myself, embarrassed myself, mortified ... let’s see, what else is there to say? Something unimportant about me… It’s boring to say that I don’t think I have ever broken a bone in my body… I can tell you something kinda cool... that today, and this is no joke, today my sister and I are the EXACT SAME AGE! April Fool’s Day is my sister’s birthday and for two weeks she and I are the same age! We are Irish Twins, which means, if you are an Irish Twin, this means your mom liked to drink a lot and as soon as she could again after not being pregnant again, she did and then she got pregnant right away. Either that or she lent her younger sister her birth control pills so her younger sister wouldn't get pregnant and instead my mom got pregnant. Those are the two theories of how we Irish twins came to be! And on that note, one last thing I will share that’s unimportant, or maybe not … I have an IUD and I know how to use it! And… and… get this… it doesn’t expire until 2013!
Tah Dah! How’d I do!? Now, since I have opened up and torn out my soul to you all, as Jen Lancaster did, I am requesting that you all, even you anons, please share a tidbit of your life with me--something quirky, something shameful, something silly, something you might not share with anyone else in the whole wide world! Let's hear it! And for those who I must tag to share six things, I give you the following:
Swishy because she’s my BBFF.
Jim Cooney at Ink and Beans because he French kissed a giraffe so I'm sure he's got some more interesting things to share, plus his blog name is pretty darn cool!
Karyn at Pretty In the City because I haven't hung out with her in a while and want to see wuuuzzzzup!
Martini but I’m afraid he will not play our reindeer games.
Drewpy Drew because he will play in these reindeer games.
And Michelle Is The Best aka My Two Army Brats cuz her hubby is in Iraq for a long time and she’s at home with two little ones!
And for the rest of you, come on, dish a little bit and share some scoop with me!
Peace UP!
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