Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Holmes and Cruise: Great News Everybody!

It was announced today that Katie Holmes has given birth to her pillow, a 16-ounce beauty they are calling Boppy!

Boppy and Mommy are resting peacefully with duct tape over Mommy's mouth because she's still not allowed to speak.

In other news, Brooke Shields ALSO delivered today, giving birth to an actual Baby!

The big question on everybody's mind is: Which one of these mothers will need the antidepressants first?


Or Katie "head-case-brain-washed-by-a-couch-jumping-freak-of-a-man-who-can't-even-commit-to-marriage-and-won't-let-his-pregnant-alien-apprentice-soon-to-be-wife-whimper-during-labor" Holmes?



christine said...

that is a beautiful baby boppy! i can't wait to see candid shots of mom and boppy squinting into the sun while papparazzi snap them walking the streets of LA on a morning coffee run or blissfully watching daddy play pretend-fun-happy-time on the set of another crappy movie. oh suri, there is so much in store for you; cult meetings, dangle play time off the balcony with daddy, microwave time with mommy, and someday, if you are very good, your own silent birth. good luck, kid. someday, when sean preston federline breaks out of juvie, someone will ride up on their white harley to come save you.

Prunella Jones said...

I'm looking foreward to finding out who the baby's real father is. I think it's either Chris Klien or L. Ron Hubburd's frozen sperm. There's no way it's Tom's. If only we could get them all on Maurey. "Who is Katie's Baby Daddy?" would be such a great episode.

g. said...

Happy Belated Birthday ! Sorry its been crazy here...

Suri? Okay, it's a pretty name but I am pretty sure it means 'pillow' not flower as the media reported...

what a joke, that poor poor child... another Drew Barrymore, Tatum O'Neill... just sad.

And I read she gave birth at the house??? wtf is up with that?


g. said...

AND absolutely free Playboy ! Woo hoo, my day is complete... LOL

How the heck do the spammers get through the word verification thingy... what a lonely existence :)


Kelly said...

HA! Katie is probably already on the anti depressants. She's probably been taking them secretly since the day she found out she was pregnant.

tommy said...

Hey!!! cool it with the placenta jokes. This isn't a game :-)

Anonymous said...

I must have missed something. I'm reading all these rumors about her not really being pregnant? I thought for sure she was. I mean, if you call being drugged, tied down and artificially inseminated with Tom's sperm "getting pregnant."