Preface to this post: This was written Sunday night, and on my Neo Alphasmart, so there are a ton of typos, which I could correct, but then the kids would miss swim class. So, deal with the typos please. I know they are all there, and if you're an agent reading this, please know I don't have any typos in the manuscript you are about to request, in full, and then offer me representation because you think I'm so clever, smart and funny, you've just got to have my book to sell! That is all to this preface...
So, I've decided to do some blogging from the bed. Spending too much time in one place gets old. Hubby is lying here and in between typing, I'm watching Forrest Gump. As soon as I came to bed and saw it on, I was like, "Oh no." Because if there's osmething I want to do in bed (get rid of those dirty thoughts!) like read or write, ther'll be a good show on that'll distract me.
Oh good, Forrest just stop running, after all, it had been over three years, two months. Phew, TV off.
Anywho (I just stole that cute word from Karyn), I think I'll update you on the weekend.
I saw THREE movies this weekend.
Friday: Nacho Libre. Wasn't expecting much, but figured it's Jack Black and he's good for a laugh or two. Funny, funny, funny! And with a thought-provoking message too.
Saturday: Devil Wears Prada, ALONE! I used to feel sorry for people who went to the movies alone, because i thought they didn't have any friends or were maybe a widow, or a weirdo and no one wanted to go to the movies with them. I don't think that anymore. I am confident, I am self-sufficient, I LOVE going to the movies by myself! Good movie; never did finish the book. Would love to know how much of Lauren Weisberger's life was really like the character in the book.
Sunday: RV. Cute, went with the kids, hub and g'ma and g'pa. All agreed it was a good movie.
If you see from my last post, it was so hot here this weekend, you could fry an egg on the sidewalk! I mean it was bone-sweltering, skin-curdling can't-stand-in-the-shade and not feel the sweat trickle down from underneath your bra. Yuck heat. It was the kind of hot where you go outside and IMMEDIATELY you feel like normal breathing patterns subside, and it takes extra effort to even breathe right. And I went walking in this heat Saturday and Sunday.
OK, this post is totally boring me, so I'm not sure this posting in bed thing is gonna work. And speaking of bed.
Well, this a.m. when I got up, Ajers and hubby were downstairs, and hubby looks at me all lovey-dovey and comes over and kisses me all really nice. Then he says, "I am so lucky."
I was like "What? Why?" I'm thinking he won something or something.
He goes, "Because look at you. You're so beautiful."
OKay, I am totally rolled-outta-bed scummy. Like yuck scummy, glases on, teeth-not-brushed, hair-a-mess, not cute, wouldn't-answer-the-front-door looking like this not-cute.
But he thinks I'm beautiful because he got some nookie!
And if he would act like this lovey-dovey all the time, maybe I should give it up more than just once a month!
And well, I gotta admit, it was one of those times where my mind and body were in the right place at the right time, yanno. (Oops stole THAT word from Miss Snark. I am a Thief of Words today!)
And, uh, we almost got caught by Tukey, who came knocking on the door. That was the first really close call we've had. I can't imagine walking in on your parents. (Not YOUR parents, just generally speaking, although I can't imagine walking in on your parents either, I guess now that I think about it. Have you? Did you? Have you ever been walked in on? Tell me about it! I love a good story. I tell you guys stories all the time!
So, I've been meaning to write an essay titled:
Why I Will Never Use Nair Bikini Cream Remover Ever Again.
This is why:
So, a few weeks ago, you may recall I was getting ready for our beach trip to Georgia. And five weeks prior to that, I was getting ready for our beach trip to Florida, and had gone for a bikini wax. (And before all you men get all excited, I get like the wimp bikini waxes so calm yourselves down! LOL).
So, this beach trip time around, I didn't really NEED a trip to la waxera (like my attempt at Spanish?), so I thought maybe a little bit of Nair would do the minimal trick that I needed to get me through this beach trip.
So, I read the directions, seems easy enough. I've done Nair on my legs long time before. Not a problem.
Slather it on pretty accurately, I gotta say, and then I wait the 3-5 minutes. Directions strongly recommend not leaving it on longer than 10.
Fine. 3-5 minutes are up, and I wipe the stuff off. Things look really fairly good. Like I said, since I had previously waxed, there wasn't much there in the first place.
Everything looked good, things went fine.
Until the next day.
When I began to itch like a camper stuck in a field of poison ivy. And it was burning. And you know how the sides of your undies are elastic and are right at that crease between your thigh and where the wonder starts? Well, it hurt to have my underwear rubbing up against something that was already itchy and burning.
It felt like angry red firey ants were marching up along the crease of my underwear and then marching back down dragging little twigs or dead insects like they do when they are foraging. It itched like hell, like a case of poison ivy on a crab victim. Owwwww.
So, I dealt with it. Somehow. And here it is a couple weeks later, and I'm home and I am checking out the area, which is thankfully no longer itching, and I notice all these red prickly little bumps, and ingrown hairs where the skin has grown above them, and so what do I do?
I tweeze. Like a maniac. Because I don't want ingrown hairs, and I want to fix this mess that I've created in the Netherlands. And what does this accomplish?
Now it looks as if I had a case of the chicken pox but only along the outter edges of my underwaear because I've tweezed so much,and pulled any lone hair that I can until I've bled and the bumps are now teeny scabs that need to heal in order to have my skin look normal. But, when the scabs heal themselves up, they just cover the hairs that are trying to grow back, and the vicious cycle continues.
i don't know what to do, because now I'm practically guaranteeing ingrown hairs and scabby bumps for a very looonnnng time. Right? Any suggestions, other than laser procedures to remove the hair forever, because I have thought of that, but it's too much money.
Thank God I'm not a bathing suit model or I'd be out of work for sure.
Anyway, tell your friends, your family, your sisters, your... well, not your brothers... but tell everyone you care about who you would not want this to happen to them to Ban Nair Bikini Wax.
This has been a public service announcement from Manic Mom because she really does care about your bikini area.
Couple more things and then I'll leave you alone to enjoy your glorious Monday morning:
High School Musical will be on Disney Channel tonight, MONDAY, so if you've heard the hype, and been wanting to see it, watch it with or without your kids tonight. It's an encore presentation where there's going to be a lot of behind the scenes stuff. I plan to be snuggled up with Tukey, Diva, and Ajers in my room getting my head in the game for shiggity folks!
Soaring! Flying! There's not a star in heaven that we can't reach.
Shut the hell up Manic (I took the words right out of your mouth didn't I?)
Books--Got a couple new reads this weekend:
Come Closer, which was recommended by the famed and spectacular former blogstess (Did I just create a new word) of Conversations About Famous People, who has been blogging about famous writers over at Conversations With Famous Writers. Check out her archives, leave her a comment and tell her Manic sent you.
Anyway, this book, Come Closer sounds petrifying, along the lines of Exorcist, The Entity, Amityville Horror. I am afraid to read it at night. Really. And when I was at the bookstore, the guy said they had two copies, but none of us could locate the book, so I'm at the store, thinking, "OK, this is a sign. This book is a devil book and I'm not supposed to buy it because it's Satanic." But then the guy found it and he searched so hard for it, I couldn't just say, "Changed my mind." OK, freaking myself out now for real. I just keep expecting the book to levitate from where I put it or something equally creepy.
Then I got thsi book, Eye Contact by Cammie McGovern, which is about, well, pop on over to Amazon to read what it's about. But hey, I am picking up some pretty creepy books these days.
And you can bet your sweet applesauce that I am hitting B&N tomorrow, Tuesday, for
Diana's debut, Secret Society Girl. I have been trying to figure out special ways to get a bookseller to sell it to me early, like giving the secret society girl handshake, reciting the secret society girl mantra, even offering them the secret society girl's secret recipe for pomagrante martinis, but no one will go to the back of the store and rip open the damned box marked: Best Seller Secret Society Girl By The Spetacular Diana Peterfreund so I guess I'm going to have to hop on over to B&N tomorrow to fight the crowds for it. Let me assure you, this book had HOT written all over it before even the author knew how it was going to end. You have to get it, you have to read it!
And, on that note, I'm signing off to finish
Save Karyn, one of the greatest, most fun memoirs I have ever read. I'm telling you, what a marketing amazement this girl is. She took an idea and ran with it! All the way to the bank, and away from her credit debt! You go Karyn!
Don't forget to tune in to Gabriella and Troy, and watch Sharpey and Ryan act like goofballs in High School Musical tonight!
Cheers from Manic, who's theme song for today is:
Just Another Xanax Monday!