Sunday, January 14, 2007


Big Trouble.

In 20 days, I am getting on a plane for Cabo San Lucas.

The trouble? I.Am.Fat.

I need a plan. An extreme plan. A plan that will allow me to lose 10 pounds in 20 days, even though I know I need to lose more; I'm just picking a number that sounds like a reasonable amount to be able to lose in that short amount of time.

I do this every single time a major event arrives. Like my brother's wedding, last July. You know, the one where my other brother got arrested the night before? Yeah, that one? Well, about three months before the wedding, I say to myself, "Oh good. I have three months to lose weight. No problem. I can do it."

But then, things in life get in the way. Like margaritas on the deck on Friday afternoons in the summer, or Pool Boys by the pool on Saturday afternoons. Or neighborhood BBQs, and crisp bottles of un-oaked Chardonnay, and the next thing you know, I've got like two weeks to lose the weight I had planned on losing two months previous.

And it's happened again. Twenty days. I have to lose ten pounds in twenty days. Can I do it? Aside from duct-taping my mouth, I'm not so sure. If someone could just come up with a menu for me, I could follow it. If someone could just make me whatever I'm supposed to eat with however many calories in each meal in order to lose weight, I would do it.

Let's see, I could eat an apple for breakfast every day. Or a bowl of oatmeal with granola for breakfast. Lunches are pretty easy too. I can weigh my meat (get your heads out of the gutter please), and eat two slices of one-point bread, and a slice of cheese and a tomato for like six points. I could also eat an ounce or two of Light Cheddar Chips (which are really, really good!).

Maybe if I just forced myself to eat a Lean Cuisine or Weight Watcher meal every night and not make any social plans for the next few weeks, it might be possible.

Microwave popcorn, Smart-Pop Orville Red is always a good way to get quantity. I'm all about the quantity, the crunch, the feeling of being filled up. When I eat popcorn, I go a little crazy. It's not very polite or feminine either. I shove the popped kernels in so fast you'd think I was a Survivor contestant who'd just won a bag for competing in a challenge. Of course, I'd never last on Survivor, not one hour. I am convinced of that. So, maybe it's not like I'm a Survivor contestant.

I don't know.

What I do know is that last week I worked out A LOT and I enjoyed it. I think I've found a weekly routine that might work for me.

This is what I did:

Monday: Fitness Yoga
Tuesday: Treadmill, two miles
Wednesday: A Strength Fitness class that kicked my ass.
Thursday: Treadmill, two miles (gotta love being able to watch Maury during a nice workout!)
Friday: Fitness Yoga

It was a great week cuz I mixed it up, did something different every day so I wasn't bored. So, my plan up until our Cabo trip is to work out 15 times in these 20 days. M-F, no excuses. And to stick to my Weight Watcher points. (I went back on Friday, and while it was a not-good number that blared on the scale, it was the same number as it was in November, which meant I got through the holidays without gaining.)

But still. That is hardly enough to make me feel good about getting into a bathingsuit in twenty days.

The only other thing I can think of is to .... Nah, I was going to write something mean about finding someone bigger than me to sit next to by the pool, but then I decided not to because that is just mean. And I try not to be a mean person.

Oh, I guess I just said that.

But, I guess it's OK because I'm just talking about a hypothetical fat person and not a real fat person, right?

Never mind. Tomorrow, it's for real. So, what to do now?

I'm headed to the fridge to grab the last of Ramblin's Tim Tams! Yes, can you believe it; I still have the caramel ones!


mamashine said...

How am I first to comment two posts in a row? :)

Definitely eat all the Tim Tams now so they aren't mocking you.
And, um, it's not a bad idea to sit by that lady you were talking about, if you can find her. Nobody will notice or know what you're doing except you and it might make you feel better. :) But I have faith in you to lose the weight if you want to. I'm going to be doing that too after this baby is born. Not looking forward to it.

I'll stop hijacking the comments now...

Karen said...

OK, well, here's a different idea: accept the fact that you're definitely NOT fat (if that's your photo) and just go and have fun. Seriously!

Just stopping by to say hi.

JT said...


And you so going to love it there. Not that I've ever been there, but I have a friend who was just there.


Anonymous said...

I didn't look at your picture so I have no idea if you really "need" to lose weight but regardless, if you want to lose 10 lbs. in a hurry you can try what's worked great for me: lean protein and unrefined carbs only, plus veggies. I ate edamame for snacks. Quaker makes a great high-protein, low-fat and high-fiber instant oatmeal. I started adding frozen mixed berries to it instead of bananas, and the lower glycemic index of the berries seemed to help me from feeling hungry sooner, too. Keep your blood sugar even and your water intake up and you'll at least look healthy and lose enough "bloat"
weight to feel more comfortable in a swimsuit! Best of luck...and if you need any recipes or food recommendations, drop me an email!

M said...

Jogging always helps tone things up quickly and makes a visible difference fast. As for eating, I say avoid cheese, desserts, obviously anything fried. Try a protein shake a day and stick to fruits, grains, veggies, and water the rest of the time. Try the running, though, seriously, it makes a big difference (maybe you already run on the treadmill--I wasn't sure if you run or walk). And there's always the less revealing bathing suits as an option. I usually wear one because I'm just more comfortable that way. The above is just general ideas on being healthy and toned that work for me--I'm sure you look great, though.

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Oh man! You guys ARE AWESOME!!! What great suggestions -- and the fact that it's 6 a.m. on Monday, the day I'm 'starting' this fast fast, it is motivating me to stay focused (of course, it is ONLY 6 a.m. but still...)

Kelli--congrats--I didn't know you were pregnant--I'll have to check out more info on your blog!

Karen--That IS my photo, but from two years ago! Thanks for coming over to say hi.

Jennifer--I am looking forward to a vaca, especially during this time of year. (We are bringing the kids though, too, but I'm actually happy about that!)

Debbie--We HAVE that Quaker oatmeal! You've solved my breakfast dilemma! And I promise to drink a lot of water today. I also like Crystal Lite Pineapple Orange and my grocery store doesn't carry it anymore but I was at a different store the other day and found it there so I bought like four containers of it!

M--I do mostly walk, but every now and then I jog a few (minutes, not miles! LOL)... And as for the bathing suit, I've never been one to wear anything revealing... ha...and since we'll have the kids with us, I'll be running around with them so I'll have to leave the string bikini at if... LOL.

Thanks everyone, for getting me motivated this a.m.! You rock! Off to eat some oatmeal! (Who am I kidding, I'm off to go back to sleep--no school today!)

1 plus twins said...

ok first you don't look fat at all and if you are working out like that you will quickly melt away to nothing. i admire your will power and determination. i so wish i could shed 20 myself. second, how was the disney jump in party???

B. said...

I say eat in moderation, drink lots of water, continue to work out, get a cute sarong, and enjoy Cabo!

OhTheJoys said...

I eat popcorn your way - in great shovel fulls all crammed in at once. I'm going to have to check on the smart pop thing.

xxxx said...

Dude ... YOU. ARE. NOT. FAT!

Just do points and keep working out and you'll be fine!

Trish Ryan said...

Spend the next twenty days jumping up and down and dancing around the house singing, "I have an agent, I have an agent."

You'll be curvy and gorgeous in Cabo :)

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

1 Plus--I missed yoga today. : (

And the Jump In party was fun, except the girls got rowdy toward the end so I didn't get to watch it all! LOL.

B--Sarong. I think you might have just solved all my problems! Are there bathing suits out yet?

Joy--not that you need to worry about weight, but I actually prefer the Smart Pop Orville Reddenbacher. They have butter flavored, 94% ff (do not get LIGHT BUTTER, make sure it's Smart Pop.) So, i mix that with the Smart Pop Kettle Korn 94% ff and chow down.

Trish--I don't even think that part has sunk in yet! Thanks for reminding me!

Swish--LOVE YOU. As always!

Anonymous said...

eat more tim tams they are weightloss inducing ones ;), as if you are fat... I've seen pictures of you..... there is no way you are fat..... :) You'll look great... have a great time... and I agree with trish jump up and down and sing you have an agent... How exciting, I'm so excited for you.... :)

Anonymous said...

screw the diet. You are fab. If you think you don't look good have another margartita.

Anonymous said...

From your picture, you don't look like you need to lose weight. But if you cut out all sugar and white flour, you will drop pounds like you would not believe. You will be incredibly bitchy for about a week, while you are detoxing your body and denying it sugar, but after that you won't even crave it anymore. I'm totally serious.

I did this and have dropped and kept off about 10-13 pounds. I indulge in sugar every once in a while now and don't really even miss it anymore.